Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I REALLY NEED SOMEONE:

 

When you love someone, (as you all may know, it's realy hard to leave them).

My husband and i haven't been together very long. I just turned 18. I got married when i was 17. We have a little girl together she's a year old now. I love her and i want the best foor us.

My husband is 19 (still a child to me)-very immature.when i was pregnant( before we were married) we broke up fo r 3 months and then got back together. We have been together every since. We argued a couple times.

We soon decided to get married( even though we were young)

We have been married since may. Every since we got married he has been arguing with me. We argue at least a couple times a day over stupid stuff.

He's controlling. I cant barley talk to any guys. He always acts like he can tell me what to wear. if i dont listen hes pissy all day and treats me like im a whore. Whenever we get into a fight, he always turns it around on me. We recently broke up like 2 weeks before my daughters birthday ( we were only split p for 4 days). He started running with the friends that i asked him not to hang around (he is on  prohbation and wll get in trouble for being around them) It was his fault for breaking up because he pushed me but he kept hanging up on me and lying to me while we were broken up and didnt even try. His mom (from my MIL post) She lied for him when he was running around. She ignored me. I told him Marlie was sick and he wouldnt tell me where he was (so i cld take him to hospital) for like 15 minutes. My daughter had 103.5 fever w ith Phenmonia and he was playing games.

Later on i smacked him and he called the police on me even though i didnt when he pushed me down.

Today i have discover that (during the breakup) He came t o my school with his friend and i wasnt there that day. He got in this girls (his ex) car and told her all about us breaking up and how he was happy about it.

(also he was trying to talk to some other girl who just turned 16 that weve had problems over. He had her come pick him up and supposibly "filled her head full of crap."

We are back together but after today i am hurt because of the girls he was talking to and how he acted like he didnt care.

I love him so m uch because when were together (and happy sometimes) hes so good to me and he tells people(girl)  treat him like shit.

I dont want to be without him because it makes me hurt and my daughter looks for him, and he doesnt care. but when hes around me he says he loves me and he cares.

WHAT DO I DO?

by on Oct. 17, 2011 at 11:29 AM
Replies (11-14):
goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 17, 2011 at 2:48 PM

Yeah tossing someone away when you're done with them is also known as a one night stand. That's not what's going on here.

But never the less you 2 do need some time apart to grow up and just raise your daughter in a calm environment. If in a few years you two have made it back to eachother then great, if not - then it wasn't meant to be anyway.

gingersnap30
by on Oct. 17, 2011 at 3:01 PM

 If it were your daughter who was in this place what would you want her to do? Would you want her in a relationship with a boy/man who made her hurt the way he does you? I doubt she wants you to be hurt this often too. I am not telling you to leave him permanently (that isn't mine or anyone else's choice to make but yours), but he needs to learn how to treat and trust those he loves. You 2 can grow together and learn from this situation, but it will take both of you to do so, so he has to be willing also. Someday, when he grows and learns to trust, it's possible the two of you can have the relationship you want, but not before then. Please don't wait for him to grow for you to find happiness either. Go out and find your own happiness and make a great life with and for your baby. When/if he's ever ready for a mature relationship, if you're still available, then you can try again IF you want to at that point.

splatz
by Sarah on Oct. 17, 2011 at 4:06 PM
Am I the only person here that sees all this control and abuse as a BIG freaking red flag?

Would you want your daughter to think its ok to be abused or controlled?
No, no mother would want that. So, why would you want that yourself? Kwim?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jltplk25
by Gold Member on Oct. 17, 2011 at 4:26 PM

Nope... you're not alone. ;)

Quoting splatz:

Am I the only person here that sees all this control and abuse as a BIG freaking red flag?

Would you want your daughter to think its ok to be abused or controlled?
No, no mother would want that. So, why would you want that yourself? Kwim?


 
Click on me to see what it's all about!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)