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child with autism

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 8:22 AM
  • 10 Replies
This is just to see ppls opinions on the situation.. This is not to bash anyone or question parenting skills. Just want to see what others think.
So i know someone that has two children with autism. She has 6 children total and the last two have it.. a two year old and a 16 month old. Well my question is... Is it ok for the mom to allow her two year old to hit her and her other children just bcuz the child has autism. She will occassionally tell him no.. but She basically lets her child bully the others and the others do not fight back. It has even gotten to the point where if the youngest baby cries he will hit her or kick her. For her its an excuse.. what do u think?? Should he be disciplined more??
by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 8:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mamalilli
by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Hi. Parenting a child w.autism can be a daunting & exhausting task. I am a SAHM of a child with autism and there are some days I don't know how I am going to get through...I can't imagine having 5 other kids as well! I am sure your friend is beyond exhausted, but it is important to understand that there are ways to manage destructive autistic behaviors. It is NOT EASY by any means...it takes information & research, time, patience, & persistence and where possible professional guidance. I hope she can find a way to manage things before one of her children gets seriously hurt. Things will only get more out of hand the longer the issue is not addressed.
babydust.2012
by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 8:51 AM
Quoting mamalilli:

Hi. Parenting a child w.autism can be a daunting & exhausting task. I am a SAHM of a child with autism and there are some days I don't know how I am going to get through...I can't imagine having 5 other kids as well! I am sure your friend is beyond exhausted, but it is important to understand that there are ways to manage destructive autistic behaviors. It is NOT EASY by any means...it takes information & research, time, patience, & persistence and where possible professional guidance. I hope she can find a way to manage things before one of her children gets seriously hurt. Things will only get more out of hand the longer the issue is not addressed.


For the time being i rent a room from her.. the child does go to therapy everyday and I think it is doing some good. There are not ante complaints from the school about him hitting other children but he only seems to do it when he wants something or if someone has something he wants. But he seems to be very angry. All of her kids do not live with her so She has some room to breathe.. I just feel bad for the other children.
mamalilli
by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 9:09 AM
His anger is more likely frustration, which often comes form an inability to communicate effectively. Autism or not, he should not be allowed to hit or be in any way violent towards his siblings. Therapy can be very effective over time, but if bad/violent behaviors are left unchecked it will undo a lot of the work being done. It has to be consistant. If he is only doing it at home it is probably because the behavior is allowed at home.
I hope things get better for you, your friend and her children
mamalilli
by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 9:09 AM

BUMP!

jltplk25
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2011 at 9:29 AM
I don't think it should be allowed. His hitting may be out of frustration. My 3 year old adopted bil is nonverbal and autistic. Sometimes he's disciplined, sometimes he isn't. Bil has other issues too though.
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babydust.2012
by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting mamalilli:

His anger is more likely frustration, which often comes form an inability to communicate effectively. Autism or not, he should not be allowed to hit or be in any way violent towards his siblings. Therapy can be very effective over time, but if bad/violent behaviors are left unchecked it will undo a lot of the work being done. It has to be consistant. If he is only doing it at home it is probably because the behavior is allowed at home.
I hope things get better for you, your friend and her children


I completely agree with u. Im trying to find a nice way to bring it to her or not bcuz im afraid the problems will only escalate with time. Thank u for ur input and I feel more confident about talking with her about it now.
babydust.2012
by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 10:02 AM
Quoting jltplk25:

I don't think it should be allowed. His hitting may be out of frustration. My 3 year old adopted bil is nonverbal and autistic. Sometimes he's disciplined, sometimes he isn't. Bil has other issues too though.


Yeah I think so too. I agree it shouldnt be allowed.. but they also believe he shouldnt be disciplinedbcuz he isnt "aware" of what he is doing. But thank u for the input.
goddess99
by Michelle on Nov. 16, 2011 at 10:14 AM

He should be disciplined. Autism is not an excuse for physical violence. Put the 2 year old in a school. My dd started school when she was 1.

babydust.2012
by on Nov. 16, 2011 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting goddess99:

He should be disciplined. Autism is not an excuse for physical violence. Put the 2 year old in a school. My dd started school when she was 1.



Yeah hes in school/therapy for the time being. I agree.
mamalilli
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 7:05 AM
You are a good friend...good luck
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