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What would you do?? Helpp me lol

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 7:27 PM
  • 20 Replies

 well... i met my sons father when i was 16, we got pregnant about a month after being together. We moved in our own place, were happy, he had a job, everything was great. Well he broke up with me when i was about 7 months pregnant :( ; i went on, my heart was broke but i was making it through... I had our son, && when he was about 3 weeks old or so, i took him to meet his daddy. We got along okay, i mean it wasn't the best but we have to get along yaknow. That was around Thanksgiving (of last year), we came back home, && went down for Christmas && New Years. Once again things were okay... Although, it was very heartbreaking for me to be around him, laugh, talk, take walks, ect. without being able to hold his hand, kiss him, hug him, yaknow all that "stupid" stuff lol. After the holidays, we didn't really stay to much in touch, he would call sometimes && see how our son && I was, sometimes he would instant message me on "Facebook"... He started getting in touch with me alot more like almost everyday, my grandmother, son, && I went to VA to see my grandfather for a couple days, he called && wanted to see our son, i asked my grandmother if we could just go for a night && she agreed. We got to his mommas house, they were playing with Mikey && having fun (lol), Then he walked, i was sitting in the chair by the door && he just stopped for a second && just stared at me. We all were just talking, catching up, && all that, he asked me to take a walk with him, then to go to the store with him... I did ; We were laughing && getting along like we used to, he wanted Mikey && I to spend the night with him at him && his sisters house.. we got the baby && our bags in the car && we were on our way. I was suppose to sleep on the couch, Mikey was gonna sleep in the bed with him in his room. Then it turned into all 3 of us sleeping in his bed... We went to go to bed i was getting my night clothes on && he came up behind me && said " i miss you so much, I'm sorry for hurting you. I just want to be with you && our son". Needless to say (lol) i took him back ;; He came back home with us, things were going soo great && then it started... (make the last part a little shorter for ya lol) We would get along then we would BOTH start on each other,,, Anyway, he ended up breaking up with me a week after my birthday :(  ; We were fine, like we were cuddling up on the couch with Mikey, kissing, just being a couple/little family :) ; 2 hours later BAM!! He just pops off with "i cant do this anymore" some S**T like that. Now we barely talk anymore, he says "i don't feel like sitting on the phone listening to you try && get us back together" Just a bunch of hurtful things... I told him "when you just leave without saying goodbye && no explanation, I'm gonna ask questions. I need answers to get closure && closure to get over you"  I'm so much in love with him! It's so hard being without him everyday :(  it really was such a surprise! ;; there's alot more to the whole story, but it's already long enough lol... What should i do?? What would you do if you were in the situation??

simple frown

by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 7:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jltplk25
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2011 at 7:52 PM
2 moms liked this
I would try to move on and care for my son. Y'all are still really young and have a lot of growing up to do. If it's ment to be things may work out but sitting around pining for something that isn't there isn't healthy for you or your child. Best wishes!
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splatz
by Sarah on Nov. 17, 2011 at 8:21 PM
I agree with Jamie. You have to try and move on. It won't be easy, but it sounds like what is best for you and your little guy. If you two are meant to work out as a couple you will.
No condoning your ex for being an ass.. But its hard to get into a serious commitment so young. You both have a lot of changing and growing to do. And that might take you guys farther apart, or put you together. Only time will tell. But don't put your life on hold for the guy who hasn't been there for you or your son.
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mrsnoble2004
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 8:25 PM

Honestly I wouldn't have taken him back after he left me pregnant and alone. But then again from what I'm told I'm good at holding a grudge.

LovelyLauren55
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 9:52 PM

I would just work at being a Mom and taking care of yourself, if he REALLY wants to be a part of your life, then he will make it a point to do so

priceless10
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 11:44 PM

everything i do revlves around my son && i love it being that way<3  im not into going out, or partying, or any of that... i mean gettin out with your girlfriends for a few hours once a week or so, yea thats cool! But i dont even do that cause i dont really have "friends"  like all my real friends live in va && their like in their late 20s early 30s i just get along better with older people (older than me lol); you would think his father would i mean its his SON like wth.. it goes fine then it just seems like he gets tired && wants to go do what he wants when he wants without having somebody to "answer to" as he says... i dont know i guess i just look at it alot differently than he does, hes older than me && acts younger than me, haa.. i do want him to be a part of our lives, like the last thing i wanted was for my son to grow up without his daddy around or get teased with him (he'll be there one minute, then the next he wont). My parents were together untill my mom passed && the yr. she passed would have made it like 19 or 20 YEARS they were together :), his parents have been together bout 24 years or so. whatever i guess lol ; but like "LovelyLauren55 said ; imma focus on being the BEST momma i can be && make a life for me && my baby boy<3 && he is all that matters now && forever :) ; thanks yal :)) 

priceless10
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 11:46 PM

i can hold a grudge too!! bigtime!! but it seems like with him, i cant be mad, i just hurt :/ ; but in time it will get better && i will be better off, && so will my son<3

Quoting mrsnoble2004:

Honestly I wouldn't have taken him back after he left me pregnant and alone. But then again from what I'm told I'm good at holding a grudge.


Aleta775
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 1:25 AM

It sounds to me that he can't make up his mind what he really wants. He thinks for a little while that he wants a family and feels like he is missing out, and he is. Then when things get hard or he gets overwhelmed he wants to run. If he wanted to be a husband and father badly enough, he would stick around and do exactly that even when things got rough. Perhaps later in life, when he grows a little more and matures he will at least be a better father to your DS, but I would never take him as a partner or husband. Right now, he simply can't be depended on so I would move on. JMO

mommamichi11
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 3:32 AM
Move on and be happy for your son. He deserves better than a father around him that did that to his mommy.
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priceless10
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 12:38 PM

i believe that's exactly what is is! he thinks that he can leave && just come back when he wants && be father when he wants, it don't work like that, yaknow?? that's exactly what he did both times "left when things got rough" I'm trying to move on for a better life for me && my amazing son :) ; thanks :)

Quoting Aleta775:

It sounds to me that he can't make up his mind what he really wants. He thinks for a little while that he wants a family and feels like he is missing out, and he is. Then when things get hard or he gets overwhelmed he wants to run. If he wanted to be a husband and father badly enough, he would stick around and do exactly that even when things got rough. Perhaps later in life, when he grows a little more and matures he will at least be a better father to your DS, but I would never take him as a partner or husband. Right now, he simply can't be depended on so I would move on. JMO


priceless10
by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 12:57 PM

he does deserve better, && i do too!! nobody deserves to be treated like hes treat me... granted i wasn't no angle either, but if you love somebody you work through the problems && hard times!! he just runs. I just feel like i'm doing/did something so wrong or I'm not good enough for him... This has been going on almost 2 years, i'm just so drained!! ... I'm gonna get through this i believe, i have been through so many deaths (my momma & others), && issues in my life && i'm still standing, so even though it does hurt like hell.. I'm gonna make it, me && my son are gonna be just fine :)

Quoting mommamichi11:

Move on and be happy for your son. He deserves better than a father around him that did that to his mommy.


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