Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DH talking Vasectomy (UPDATED)

I'm currently 5 months along with our second child.  DH and I had agreed on only wanting two kids, with a joke of a third "surprise" baby possibility.

But now, DH is saying if this baby is born healthy he wants to get snipped right away!  I'm all sorts of uncomfortable with that decision, for various reasons, mainly how young we are.

I'm 25 and DH is 26.  I don't want to have kids too late in life, since Dh and I always liked the idea of traveling in our 40s and 50s.  But, who knows what may happen?  If he gets snipped right away, we don't have time to adjust to having 2 kdis and talking about whether we feel complete yet.  We both came from larger families, and I wonder if we'll have second thoughts about ours.

Also, several of the men in my family were snipped while I was growing up, and things happened later in their life that made them wish they hadn't.  One cousin's wife passed away in a car accident, and a few years later he married another woman who had no kids of her own.  She desperately wanted a baby by him, but his reversal failed.  They are still together, but sometimes I can see her upset.  My uncle's wife finally talked him into getting snipped, and then their youngest son died at age 6.  After a year or two, they began longing to have another child, but again the reversal didn't work as hoped.  I can't imagine having something happen to me or our family, and not to even have the option!

I guess I feel that with all the options available, he should wait until we are in our thirties at least.  I used a copper IUD to give us a few years between our first child and this one, and never had a problem.  Plus, I was pregnant again just when we wanted!  (We suffered a loss in week 14, but were pregnant again the next month.)

We talked again, and he said he was certain he wouldn't want a third child at this point.  But he also said he could see why I was worried, and that my concerns were valid.  He insists he'd never want children by another woman, but acknowledged that if one of our kids or immediate relatives passed, he might want another.  He's willing to talk to my OB about more options.  He said after our daughter turns 1 year old, we'll talk about it again.  But he promised not to go behind my back.  I think we'll end up using the copper IUD again.  I used it for the 3 years between DS and this baby, with no problems at all.

by on Nov. 20, 2011 at 12:11 AM
Replies (11-12):
by Michelle on Nov. 21, 2011 at 9:39 AM

That's great. Glad he seems open to different ideas.

by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 9:40 AM

I wouldn't feel comfortable making that decision so quickly either. But, its up to you two.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)