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i feel... lonely, and lazy. *8 days till delivery date*

Posted by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 6:48 PM
  • 16 Replies

i have a 2 and a half year old son and he is my entire life and light. he means everything to me and I basically have him with me 100% of the time being as i am a stay at home mom and the only time I'm out of the house it's with my hubby and son. 

in 8 days we're having a daughter Via C-section (I had terrible complications with my son and my Dr refused to let me try a natural birth for this one)

i am now 21 years old. (22 in january)

I have Zero friends to name.

my husband recently got a job promotion (that we desperately needed and is an amazing wonderful thing for our family) but it requires him to be gone 6am-6pm(some times later cuz of over time and commuting in traffic) 

we only have one car (that my husband takes to work) and we're actively looking for another one but even with the promotion we can't afford a car payment or a "fixer-upper" off the street...

and all in all...

I feel horrible.

I don't have energy to do much of anything but I some how suck it up and make dinner every night for my hubby while still providing a happy active day for my son (thank GOD for crock pots) all with a big happy smile on my face... 

but I'm sad. 

and I'm lonely.

and I really hate not being happy about the holidays. even though this is the first year that money is not over flowing but it's not a horrid stress either...

:[


is this some kind of... pre-partum depression?
am I just tired cuz I'm ready to pop?

by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 6:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mom2gr8tgirls
by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 7:17 PM
Oh I felt the exact same way before #3 was born. I could have wrote that word for word (except I'm 31...lol). We too only had one car, my DH was gone for work from 4:30 am to 7 pm, 5 days/week, I'm a SAHM, and I was miserable.

I wish I had amazing, uplifting advice for you...but I don't. Basically I just threw myself into my kids and the house. I baked a ton. My best advice is try to find new and fun stuff to do with your son. Is it possible to go for short walks or to a park?

PM if you wanna talk... Good luck, hope it gets better!
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Lynzee.Limon
by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 7:32 PM

I take my son on walks around the neighborhood.. and the mall is only about 2 miles away there and back, I don't mind walking I love the exercise. but the only park or play area we have is a school down the street and they wont allow anyone on the campus till after 5pm, and now that it's winter... it's cold and rainy and dark by 5... :[ we paint and play with balloons we color and do stickers he helps me cook and clean and basically does everything with me through out the day. my mom works odd hours so if she gets a chance we comes and picks us up for a little bit, but it's only like once a month if that... and usually for only about 2 hrs.... my in-laws both work 5 days a week from 8-5 so we go see them sometimes but mostly just on weekends with my husband... 
I'm miserable.

and worse off... i think my son is starting to be miserable too. he needs friends and socialization... I want to put him in daycare or play school SO badly, not because I want time away from him... but because he needs it... he's so bored at home.. he's 10000% energy from the moment his eyes open in the morning (around 7 am) till he hits the pillow around 7pm... and if I'm lucky he will take an hour nap during the day... but he's bored... and i know we have talked to him often about his new sister coming to live with us... but I'm not 100% sure he really gets it... and i dont want his feelings to get hurt cuz of thee new baby and mommy having to be careful after surgery... I'm pretty get up and go and i definitely do NOT like to "milk" things... i was walking around the hospital about 6 hours after my c-section with my son... so I cant imagine i will be slowed down too much after this one... but idk. I'm just super down right now... :[

 

mrsnoble2004
by ♥Arlene♥ on Nov. 21, 2011 at 7:59 PM

I'm going to go with tired because having a 2 and half year old can take a lot out of you without being 8 days away from delivery of another. I know the isolated feeling. For 10 years we had just one, I finally got one last year. I don't think it really helps much because then you have to worry about having enough gas to do what you need to do.

goddess99
by Michelle on Nov. 21, 2011 at 8:09 PM

Hopefully in a week everything will change for the better. I would look around for a play school or group your son could go to even if it's just for a few hours twice a week. Good luck with everything.

Lynzee.Limon
by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 8:17 PM

thanks. i really hope I don't go through a bad postpartum depression when my daughter gets here. i just keep feeling like it's already started..  I'm excited to have her, and hold her and see what she looks like and everything a new baby is... but I'm scared that I wont be able to raise 2 kids on (basically) my own. i am not a single parent by any means, but i sometimes feel like since I am with them 2 days a week and my husband is only with them 2 and even then we go to his parents house so it's not even just him with them... that I'm the only [real] parent in our relationship.

i love EVERYTHING he does for our family. and i know that he sacrifices a lot to provide for us because he HATES missing out on a lot of the little changes that babies make  every day and every week.. (he was working 2 jobs when our son was a new born) so i feel bad when I feel so alone and 'single' parent-like


Lynzee.Limon
by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 8:21 PM

*** Since I am with them 24 hours 7 days a week and my husband is only with them 2 days a week.

and I am looking into play school and day cares but all of them are a little bit out of our price range and the ones I can afford... don't have openings right now.. in the spring I want to go back to school and our community college has a daycare but I don't know if they will have openings or if we will be able to afford child care for 2 kids.. :[


goddess99
by Michelle on Nov. 21, 2011 at 8:23 PM

I don't really have much advice mostly because I was a single parent for years. I didn't have anyone to rely on at all. But I LOVED it!! Wouldn't have changed it for anything. So I honestly would have no idea how to fit a man into baby life anyway. (nor would I want too) Sorry. I'm no help.

All married women I know who have babies are in the same boat as you. Their husbands work and they are just home all day alone with the kids. You're definitely not alone.

Lynzee.Limon
by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 8:28 PM

i know. and like i said, I love having my son with me all the time, he's my angel. my EVERYTHING. i was going down a seriously bad path when I found out I was pregnant. he pretty much saved me from becoming my mother (who now have 12 years clean and sober but lost custody of me and my sister when I was 3 and my sister was 5) my mom had a horribly hard life and I was close to following in her path at 18. my son is my everything and i dedicate every second of my life to him and soon to my daughter too. 

it's only been the last week or so that I started realizing how sad i am all the time.. :[ i fake it off pretty well... but I've had to fake a lot in my life. and I just don't know if maybe i am too tired to fake it any more? or if I am just going through a weird phase cuz of my hormones and my body getting ready for our daughter... =/

splatz
by Sarah on Nov. 21, 2011 at 9:30 PM
I swear that I had pre partum depression with my last. Then had PPD that just turned my world upside down after she was born.
I feel you on the being alone part. My bf is gone from 6pm-6am. It sucks going without adult interaction all the time. I don't have any friends or family to spend time with. The more replies I'm reading the more I see that we have in common.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Just think in 8 days you will have a sweet new baby in your arms. It WILL be hard having 2 kids for 5 days a week on your own (been there and done that too!). But, as time goes on things will get easier. And you will adjust to balancing 2.
Sending you a big hug! And if you want to add me on here please do. I can listen any time you need to vent.
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MommySliver
by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 9:47 PM
I can totally relate to you! Lately since it has been snowing here my fiance has to leave at all hours of the night to snowplow. First leaving our two year olds birthday party early, leaving me to clean everything up, and carry everything to the car and then inside. Not to mention heavy stuff. Plus we only have one vehicle because of financial issues so I had to ask around for a ride home. Then to me sleeping alone at night. Cold sweats, hot sweats. I'm pregnant with my second child now and I cry every night because I feel so alone. I'm only 8 weeks along but I cry a few times a day. Idk what to do or if somethings wrong but I feel for you.
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