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i feel... lonely, and lazy. *8 days till delivery date*

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i have a 2 and a half year old son and he is my entire life and light. he means everything to me and I basically have him with me 100% of the time being as i am a stay at home mom and the only time I'm out of the house it's with my hubby and son. 

in 8 days we're having a daughter Via C-section (I had terrible complications with my son and my Dr refused to let me try a natural birth for this one)

i am now 21 years old. (22 in january)

I have Zero friends to name.

my husband recently got a job promotion (that we desperately needed and is an amazing wonderful thing for our family) but it requires him to be gone 6am-6pm(some times later cuz of over time and commuting in traffic) 

we only have one car (that my husband takes to work) and we're actively looking for another one but even with the promotion we can't afford a car payment or a "fixer-upper" off the street...

and all in all...

I feel horrible.

I don't have energy to do much of anything but I some how suck it up and make dinner every night for my hubby while still providing a happy active day for my son (thank GOD for crock pots) all with a big happy smile on my face... 

but I'm sad. 

and I'm lonely.

and I really hate not being happy about the holidays. even though this is the first year that money is not over flowing but it's not a horrid stress either...

:[


is this some kind of... pre-partum depression?
am I just tired cuz I'm ready to pop?

by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 6:48 PM
Replies (11-16):
Lilysmomma84
by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 11:03 PM

Join a mommy to be class , allot of hospitals offer them free , or a library toddler reading group , you'll meet other mommy's , and just ... well this sounds mean but don't tell people your age if you don't HAVE to .... I mean 21 isn't a 16 yo mom (and i don't think there's anything wrong with 16 yo moms as long as they have there heads on straight and are responsible moms that realize kids are NOT a cute new purse , and you can't leave the baby with grandma while you go out with friends , i don't care how old you are as long as you realize that now your a MOM that is your primary job , and you Biggest responsibility and commitment ..) but people do have a presumption of younger mom's .. I was JUST 21 when i had my daughter , i found out i was pg a week after my 21st birthday , i didn't even get to celebrate my legal drinking age , My parents lived in Fl .. im in Ma ... all my friends where out partying and dating and clubbing and i was pg and then a mom so i was totally alone , my husband worked the same hours ... and i got allot of cold shoulders from older ... 30ish moms because of my age ... I'm intelligent , well read, funny , mature , but I'd say i was 21 and BAM i was no longer worthy to talk to ... so i kinda stopped volunteering my age ... and allowed ppl to get to know me ... and we'd become good friends and then at some point i'd mention oh I'm 22 (I'm 27 with a almost 6yo) and there jaw would drop , but they looked past age because they already knew ME .... but just relax ... maybe go to the library get some good books ... pick up a craft .... if you don't know any / or feel like you have no real Skills .... go to your craft store , and go into the book section , sometimes it's in the more Kids section , but get the books by a brand called KLUTZ ... they have books made for teens , that have SIMPLE directions on how to make all different things and they come with everything , I learned how to knit , crochet , umm make hemp friendship bracelets , they have quite a few different kinds and there about 15~22$ but they are worth it because you get all the materials to get you started ..... I recommend the Knitting book , it's simple , and you get everything you need and when you need yarn it's fairly cheep as long as you dont want cashmere or something ... at walmart it's about 2 to 3 $ for a skein ( a big thing of yarn )maybe 5 for a very large ball or a really fancy yarn  and you could make your baby to be a blanket or learn how to make yourself a little change bag ect ...... if you don't see a book of anything you really like , check out the Kids isles ..... they have some fun craft kits , anything from , decorating a jewelry box with 3d stickers , self stick gems to Beads to make bracelets , or that loom thingy we all had when we where little to make pot holders with those cloth loops .... I know maybe it sounds silly , but when your oldest is napping or playing by himself ... you could do a fun little craft ... I enjoy doing little crafts like that and when you do learn how to knit something , or you make the little beaded bracelet , or make a potholder ... you have a sense of accomplishment , it may lift your spirits ... just an idea ... and hey your not completely alone , you've got all the people who replied to this , your more then welcome to Message me , i'd be happy to talk when your bored , message me and we can email ... and *hugs*cuz you sound like you need some ...

TigressLily
by Member on Nov. 21, 2011 at 11:54 PM

I know exactly how you feel. Only difference is that we have 2 vehicles, and the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy, my mom was here helping me with housework and the like. she stayed 3 weeks after the baby was born to help give me time to heal so I could just rest and get better quickly. I also had a c-section, but due to Abby being breech the entire pregnancy. I am 21 now, and I am a mother to just 1. So there are slight differences, but I was worrying {still am} about everything and even though I probably could have done the house work before giving birth to Abby, I sat back and relaxed while I could, all the while I was feeling very useless and then after the c-section, I also felt very helpless.

It was very scary. I will admit that. Especially since they practically made me do it alone. They wouldn't let both my mom and DH come back, but then they didn't let DH in the room until she was almost born &&& he was only in there for about 1-2 minutes literally and they made him go back out again. I needed a lot of medicine during the c-section.... everyone is different of course, but I felt the horrible pain during the entire process. As soon as I heard my baby cry for the first time, though... all the pain seemed to vanish for a little while. Then the first time I was able to successfully breast feed her.... I cried so much. It was an amazing experience overall.

It's normal to be scared, worried, sad, etc. But try to remember that you're NOT alone, not really. It will turn out okay. God bless. Take care and relax mama.


kjbennett26
by on Nov. 22, 2011 at 11:04 AM

 Can you take your little one to the park or even out for a walk?  Im here if you want someone to talk to :)  ((HUGS))

Lynzee.Limon
by on Nov. 22, 2011 at 12:54 PM

thank you everyone who replied. I am feeling a tiny bit better today... =/ one more week and i get to meet our daughter... :]

I think that until we get a second car, I need to get a bus pass(as "ghetto" as that sounds) so that I can get to craft stores or a park/playground or just anywhere really... my mother in law told me that she saved up some sick leave so that she can help me for a week or so after Layla is born... she drives me INSANE... but I will take any company I can get and any help she's willing to offer at this point... my husband gets 2 days off cuz he just started his work position at the beginning of the month and he's still "in training" so they wont allow him paternity leave... :[

it's good to know I'm not alone and that I have a few people who know what it's like... I don't know how to add people or private message... I litterally just figured out how to post... =/ but I do want to talk to all of you as often as I can.. :]

thank ALL of you again. it really made me feel better..

Willow.wind
by on Nov. 22, 2011 at 1:09 PM

Hey Girl! Thank goodness you have a computer cuz then you have us!! Mamma hugs for you! If I was anywhere near you I would come pick you guys up for a play date.Then feed that big belly of yours. My advice is when you can get out & about again after baby. Join a MOPs group(Moms of preschoolers) at a local church. They love to help out.

Lynzee.Limon
by on Nov. 23, 2011 at 12:47 PM

yeah, with out a computer I would go crazy. but some times I feel bad like I am on the computer all day and ignoring my son.. :[ and I know he gets bored when I'm not playing with him or cuddling or having him help me do something.  Until I get a car and/or learn all the bus routs.. I don't think getting to any type of "mommy groups" is a routine option but I'm hoping with tax returns we can afford another car.. I want to go back to school in the spring, so I hope that we can afford the child care for both the kids.

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