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Need some help for my dd =(

I really need some help and thought this would be a great place to start!! I know moms will understand where I am coming from and help me get things done!!

A little history on the story:

I recently had suspicions(big ones at that) that my ex-husband and his nephew were molesting my 7yr old daughter when my oldest kids were visiting with them.  There were huge signs of it and not to mention the things she told me.  Ex: her dad makes her take her pants off and makes her sleep with him even though she has her own room and bed with her brother and even though she says she doesn't want too.  She said she felt very uncomfortable with that.  He also loves to put very skimpy clothes on her that are not at all suitable for a 7yr old.  She also gets very upset when you ask her about what goes on up there and if she wants to go back.  She won't say much else.  There are lots more signs and incidents but I won't go into all those here.  Needless to say, I called the Department of Children and Families and wouldn't let them go back with him until I found it was safe.  The DCF sent a man to interview her!!!!  Well of course she wouldn't talk to him!! She barely says this stuff to me! I was uncomfortable telling him some of the things that have happened much less my 7yr old daughter.  I complained and tried to get them to send a counselor to talk to her because there is huge signs of brain washing as well.  They said they couldn't send a counselor because we aren't on medicaid so they closed our case.  I called and asked if they would please at least send a woman for her to talk to and they said no, that they cant' reopen a case. =( So this is where I am stuck and nothing is being done to protect my daughter.  Her father is filing contempt charges on me for not letting him see them.  I don't have over $3000 to get an attorney to fight this. I will figure out a way if I have to but I don't feel I should have to do that when crimes are being committed.  The state should help protect my children and they aren't!!  I have a petition going about this on (department-of-children-and-familiesstate) If you can take a moment to sign and pass it that would be great!!  If you have any advice at all please, please share!!  I am open to anything!!  Thank you for your time and God bless.

by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 8:49 AM
Replies (21-28):
by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 5:58 PM

The pedi says there is no physical signs of abuse.  I think what they are doing is more subtle. I don't even think she knows her dad is doing it. I think he does it while she sleeps.  That is why he makes her take her pants off and sleep with him.  The police say that it isn't illegal for him to make her take her pants off because he is her dad =(  We have tried the loan road and we just have crappy credit but I have not called all lawyers to see if they have any pro bono cases left. That will be my next step.  Thank you all for your advice and kind words. It helps a lot to talk about it.

by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 8:19 PM

Oh Momma. I'm reading this and it is just making my stomach churn. I'm so sorry that you and your dd are going through this. It sounds like you are trying to do everything right. Your dd really needs to speak to a female case worker. I will NEVER understand why they send a man to speak to a little girl that is being abused. Just because your ex hasn't left any traces does NOT mean that there isn't something going on. I'm glad you too her to the doctor and that for now she appears to be okay. I would not send her back to her father until all this gets straightened out.

I wish you the best.  

by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 8:35 PM

Oh my Im sorry to hear that :(

by Bronze Member on Dec. 1, 2011 at 8:52 PM
Maybe try a different law enforcement agency. Instead of city, call county or state police. They can send a female detective to talk to your dd. I also agree to taking her to the ER. When they do a rape kit, they can put her out so she doesn't know what is going on and won't get more traumatized by it. Do you have a child advocacy center in your area for children who are victims of abuse? We have one called ted e bear hollow. My heart aches for you family and I hope everything works out!
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by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 6:08 AM

Definitelycall the police. They have units that are specifically for this type of issue with investigators that trained to ask questions plus many agencies work with psychologists. The only problem I see at this point is that she has been questioned so many times that it might make things harder. You can always call a counseling center yourself and see if they will take your insurance.

by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 8:45 AM

Thank you all so much for the wonderful advice and tips! I will try the police in other areas. I have not done that.  They all seem to make it seem so small since there is no physical evidence. I don't think having a rape kit done will help because she hasn't seen him in almost 7 mos.  Once I had a feeling of things I didn't let her go back.  Thank you all for the kind words and support! <3

by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 8:49 AM
Take her to a pedi and have her examined. If he suspects abuse he will have to call. Good luck.
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by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 11:54 AM

Thank you jltplk25.  She has been and the state has talked to the pedi. Thanks so much!

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