Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you tell the parents what their 19 year old daughter is doing?

Posted by   + Show Post

A friend of my DD does not get along with her parents and has confided in me that she is doing something that I disagree with on so many levels. She (19 yrs old)  is aware that her parents would not approve of her dating a 15 year old boy so she is deliberately withholding his age and other information from them.  Her parents are pretty uninvolved in her life but I know they would not approve of this relationship.

My dilemma is that I know that if and when they decide to become physical, this girl can get in a heck of a lot of trouble with the law. She knows what she is doing is wrong but continues to do it. I have talked to her about the consequences of her being an adult and dating a minor, but she is sure this boy is "THE ONE" as he "understands her and they have SOOO much in common."  *gag/sigh

I do not know her parents well and really do not want to talk with them.  I also do not want to lose the girl's trust as she does not have many adults in her life but I feel her parents really need to know what their daughter is doing. I am having a very difficult time feeling good about keeping her secret and it is becoming MY burden, which really has nothing to do with me or my family.  Afterall, she is NOT my daughter!!

If you were in my shoes:

1) Would you tell her parents what their daughter is doing? 

2)How would you tell them? Would you send them an anonymous note? ( repeat, I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO THEM)

3)If it were your daughter, would you want someone to tell you what she was doing?

EDIT: I do not know the boy or his family.
The boy's parents do not know about the girl friend as he is not yet allowed to date.

by on Dec. 30, 2011 at 12:37 PM
Replies (21-21):
by on Jan. 1, 2012 at 6:25 PM

I agree with this. I do think it is sad her parents not really into her or her life or that she doesn't feel she can tell them the truth :( 

Quoting Mom2Addison12:

Give her the best advice that you can.

Talk to her and give her advice you would give your own daughter.

Her mother appreantly won't care much. So just do what you would do if she was your own.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)