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My son wants his father for his b-day, but his father is in the military. HELP

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 Ok, so here's the thing. I'm 17 years old with a 2 year old son. I'm pregant with my second child. My son, James, has been asking about his father, Jonathon. Me and the father have been in an on/off relationship. Jonathon is 22 years old and is in the army. I tell James that his dad saves lives and his helping us live better, and to do that he can't be with us all the time. Me and Jonathon have been writing to eachother, and I've told him that all James' wants for his birthday is to see his dad. I dont know how to make James understand that his dad can't come home when he wants him to. Please give me some tips on how to tell James that his dad may not be home for his birthday!


Thanks Moms! I went through the replies to this and was super surprised to see how many I got back. Thanks for all the suggestions, we are definitely going to use skype. James will have a daddy doll for his birthday. I talked to his dad, and he will be able to make it home soon, even though it's after James' birthday. Thanks again, I really appreciate it.

by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 1:52 AM
Replies (61-69):
by on Jan. 3, 2012 at 7:56 PM
My hubby is a corpsman in the Navy and I have 2 boys. He deployed and I would tell my boys your daddy is doing an important job. He is helping people. look into a daddy doll, it worked wonders. You can message me if u want. Take care!
by on Jan. 3, 2012 at 7:58 PM
Everyone has good ideas, have daddy reading a book for your son that he can do on the webcam then he can send it and you can put it on disc so that daddy can read to him every night. Try making a calendar with your son so that he can mark the days off until daddy gets home and you guys can have a make up birthday party when daddy gets home. I know how you feel just stay strong and let him know everyday how much daddy loves and misses him, hope it helps
by on Jan. 3, 2012 at 8:20 PM

I haven't read any of the replies so I am not sure if I am repeating what someone else has said. If he isn't able to come home for his birthday, maybe you can schedule a skype date so ds can see his dad. And if you can, you can have him a daddy doll made. 

I pray that your son can, in some form, see his dad. 

by on Jan. 3, 2012 at 8:53 PM
Is there any possible way you can Skype with dad on his birthday?
by on Jan. 3, 2012 at 9:14 PM

 At this age,  they take their cues from you.     As long as you are OK,  he will be  OK.   Do not give it too much power that his dad is not there  ( don't say  "I am so sorry daddy isn't here etc"   )   and just make it a special day for him.    Do what you can as far as skype and the daddy doll  and go from there.  

by on Jan. 3, 2012 at 11:24 PM

my husband was deployed when our daughter was two, to keep her connected to her dad, she had a Flat Daddy, a Blanket made for her by operation kid comfort, a daddy doll, we watched the sesame street dvd about elmo's daddy she watched dvds of her and her dad, talked to him when she could and she understood that daddy was doing a job far away and would come back to her as soon as he could. That is all you can really do for him. 

hang in there! try to skype on his bday but if not when he comes back celebrate his bday with his dad make it special just bc its not on that day does not mean they can't make a special celebration. 

by on Jan. 3, 2012 at 11:28 PM
This is exactly what I was going to write.

Quoting splatz:

I agree with the other ladies. But can he call him on his birthday and/or Skype with him? That may help him feel better that Daddy can't actually be there.
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by on Jan. 3, 2012 at 11:55 PM

I am soo sorry and understand how you feel right now. I also have a 2 year old, and a 5 year old, and my husband leaves Thursday for a year. My son does not understand though I am sure it won't take long for him to wonder where daddy is. I agree with everyone who said try Skype. Also we bought one of those recordable story books so he can read the kids a bedtime story at night, lots of letters and anything else like that. It's hard I know and I wish you and your little guy (and your soon to be little one) lots of luck.

by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 9:59 AM

Awww....I have a 1 year old and pregnant again. My son will be at least 2 when hubby goes on his first deployment. :( 

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