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Is it jealousy??

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2012 at 2:23 PM
  • 27 Replies

I have been married to my husband for 2.5 years. He has 3 children from a previous marriage. I have 1 child from a previous marriage and together we have our 1 yr old. My husband and I have a fantastic relationship. What we mostly argue about is our kids. My husband will sometimes say how he wants to just take his kids somewhere to be how it used to be before my son and me came along. I dont understand. I never understand. My son lives with us and he goes to his dads every other weekend. My husbands kids come to our house 2 days a week and every other weekend, and every sunday. I understand my husband wants to see his kids more but what i dont understand is why he needs to just take his kids. He doesnt do it often but once in a while he says it and acts upon it. I get very upset and hurt i suppose. I guess what bothers me is i am staying home with OUR son as well. He always says i dont get it since i have my son here all the time. I guess what also bothers me is we are a family. Why cant we do family activites. He chose to be a family when he asked me to marry him so i guess i always feel that we should always do activities as a family!! Am i being jealous or do i have a right to be upset?? UGH the stress...

by on Jan. 8, 2012 at 2:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
goddess99
by Michelle on Jan. 8, 2012 at 2:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe he's feeling guilty about his other kids. I would just let him go, I wouldn't care. I mean if they are just going to go to a movie and get a bite to eat after or maybe go bowling or whatever I honestly wouldn't care. It's a bonding time for all of them that they don't get every day.

mommyb168910
by on Jan. 8, 2012 at 2:57 PM

So i shoudnt get mad?? I feel like all those things should be family time for all of us!! We are a family..i dont no..i still feel upset about it..and thinking about me hurts..:(

Quoting goddess99:

Maybe he's feeling guilty about his other kids. I would just let him go, I wouldn't care. I mean if they are just going to go to a movie and get a bite to eat after or maybe go bowling or whatever I honestly wouldn't care. It's a bonding time for all of them that they don't get every day.


goddess99
by Michelle on Jan. 8, 2012 at 3:03 PM

Idk that's just me. I wouldn't get mad. But you're certainly entitled to your own feelings.

Quoting mommyb168910:

So i shoudnt get mad?? I feel like all those things should be family time for all of us!! We are a family..i dont no..i still feel upset about it..and thinking about me hurts..:(

Quoting goddess99:

Maybe he's feeling guilty about his other kids. I would just let him go, I wouldn't care. I mean if they are just going to go to a movie and get a bite to eat after or maybe go bowling or whatever I honestly wouldn't care. It's a bonding time for all of them that they don't get every day.



Shani527
by Member on Jan. 8, 2012 at 3:03 PM
Maybe talk to him about doing something just him and his kids alone like the first weekend d of the month make it a tradition so it's not all the time. I think its important but also equally important to bond as a blended family
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trishaleigh1313
by on Jan. 8, 2012 at 3:03 PM

i would talk to him and ask him to explain it to u he might be thining his kids need time with him alone sometimes im sure its not u or your son but u should try to talk and see what happens

jltplk25
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2012 at 3:20 PM
I think that's a great idea.


Quoting Shani527:

Maybe talk to him about doing something just him and his kids alone like the first weekend d of the month make it a tradition so it's not all the time. I think its important but also equally important to bond as a blended family

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OliviasMommy611
by on Jan. 8, 2012 at 4:36 PM
I'd be pissed.

Quoting mommyb168910:

So i shoudnt get mad?? I feel like all those things should be family time for all of us!! We are a family..i dont no..i still feel upset about it..and thinking about me hurts..:(


Quoting goddess99:


Maybe he's feeling guilty about his other kids. I would just let him go, I wouldn't care. I mean if they are just going to go to a movie and get a bite to eat after or maybe go bowling or whatever I honestly wouldn't care. It's a bonding time for all of them that they don't get every day.



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mommyb168910
by on Jan. 8, 2012 at 4:42 PM

That is a great idea!! I know i shouldnt get angry or upset! He is entitled to whatever he wants to do!! I no my son always feels left out if they want to do something!! He doesnt do it often but he does say it alot!! I dont do things like that with my son i always tell him we will wait for all the kids!! I guess i get upset too because im once again home with our youngest..which i love dont get me wrong...but i dont go anywhere without him!! I appreciate all the advice!!

Quoting Shani527:

Maybe talk to him about doing something just him and his kids alone like the first weekend d of the month make it a tradition so it's not all the time. I think its important but also equally important to bond as a blended family


fahmom
by on Jan. 8, 2012 at 5:18 PM
Have you told him all this? You have a right to be upset but I can understand him wanting time with his kids when he only sees them x amount of times. Surely you can work something out where when they are visiting he can go out and do something with them once in a while and everything else can be done as a family. Maybe he feels somewhat jealous of you having more time with your children than he has with his from the previous relationship.
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jpalmer
by on Jan. 8, 2012 at 5:26 PM

 

Quoting OliviasMommy611:

I'd be pissed.

Quoting mommyb168910:

So i shoudnt get mad?? I feel like all those things should be family time for all of us!! We are a family..i dont no..i still feel upset about it..and thinking about me hurts..:(


Quoting goddess99:


Maybe he's feeling guilty about his other kids. I would just let him go, I wouldn't care. I mean if they are just going to go to a movie and get a bite to eat after or maybe go bowling or whatever I honestly wouldn't care. It's a bonding time for all of them that they don't get every day.


 

I would be pissed to...we have a blended family and even though my dh spends one on one with the kiddos we do make it a point that it is ONE on one time...(we have three kids so he will set a date with one at a time) that way no one feels neglected...now we do have family date night where everyone in the house goes but it's NEVER just his kids and mine...we married so all the kids are OUR kids...good luck momma

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