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Help! I have a jealous toddler and we're expecting.

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:28 PM
  • 116 Replies
I'm a momma of one, hopefully soon to be two. Our little boy is very kind hearted, well behaved and loves long as I'M not the one holding the baby. He plays great next to other kids his age, loves to share, and is very soft with the little bities but the second I've got any one but him in my arms he has a complete melt down. I've tried helping him get used to it by giving him his own baby, but being a boy he just doesn't really go for dolls. Any ideas on how to get him ready for a new baby in the house?
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:28 PM
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by Michelle on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:38 PM
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Not sure I just have 1 but I would maybe find a couple kid books or videos about mommy bringing home a new baby.

by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 11:21 AM
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I would sit down and have a talk with him and explain to him that mommy and daddy have gonna have a new baby brother or sister. Just keep talking to him about it. Maybe get some books or dvds on becoming a big brother. Etc. He may still be a little jealous when baby comes but at least he will be prepared. Good luck.

How old is your son?

by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 11:24 AM
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you have to let brotherhood happen naturally. some siblings just don't match well together, and forcing it as the mother only creates more problems. eventually they will develop a good relationship, but don't be too pushy and don't tell your son how lucky he is to have a little brother or sister. Remember he didn't ask for him or her to be born, so it's not something that should be forced on him. When parents over do siblinghood it makes the older child dislike the younger one because they may feel replaced in a sense.

by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 11:26 AM
I would talk to him about it and tell him how much fun its going to be! You can tell him he can be Mommy's little helper! You can also let him be the first one to hold the baby (with your help) when family come to visit at the hospital. I wanted to get small gifts for my children and the baby when my curlew one was born to give everyone at the hospital when they come to see him for the first time...maybe you can do that.
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by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 11:28 AM
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i have a 2.5 yo, 9 mo and another due in July. my dd was very attached and still is at times. she was a lot like your ds before i had my ds. after a few days of ds being home she understood he needed mommy too. dh started having alone time with dd where they'll go get ice cream or go to the park and that helped. im not sure theres much preparing you can do before hand. the baby doll trick worked for us. a friend w/a ds did the same and gave me the idea. i also stared watching a friends two kids while pg so dd could get use to the idea of a baby being around. it helped to hold the baby and dd at the same time; say sitting on the couch and watching a movie. good luck.

by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 11:30 AM
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My daughter is going through the jealous and "no" stage. We are not expecting but could be in the near future. I have been trying something where if she doesn't want to do something I try to turn it around to make it about her. Example: She wants to wear her spring coat, not her winter coat. I tell her if she doens't wear her winter coat she will get cold and sick and not be able to play. So in your case: While you're holding a baby, tell him that if he lets you hold the baby for a little bit then you guys can play a game or he can have a cookie afterwards. I know people say not to bribe but this is only a temporary thing until he can understand more. Good luck!

by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 11:38 AM

:( Oh man, I'm in the same boat. We're going to be trying for baby #2 soon and I'm worried about my jealous toddler as well. She gets jealous when I hug my husband, let alone me holding another kid. 

Good luck! 

by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 11:42 AM
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You might be surprised. My daughter was the same way and you would be amazed at how soon the sibling bond begins. The only advice I can give you is to include your son in the process of your developing fetus. I let my daughter rub my belly and talk to my belly, took her to the ultra sound and no matter how jealous your toddler gets make it a positive thing that you are having another baby. The more positive you keep it the better it should be. Although don't completely disregard your child's feelings. At least let him know that he is heard.

by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 12:02 PM
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We bought our daughter a big sister book & told her about a new baby coming into the house. She was 4 when we had our 2nd baby.  

by Ruby Member on Jan. 17, 2012 at 12:04 PM
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 You have a lot of good advice. Have some presents on hand so if someone comes and gives the baby a present you can give your son one too so he won't be jealous.

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