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Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:26 AM
  • 14 Replies

i have a 15 yr old daughter,she has a boyfd who lives quite a ways away.  she would ask 2 hangout and they would watch movies at his house w the parents there, i would tell her that at her age they should b going out doing things w other fds not always hangin out watchin movies. news years she begged like she has never begged before to go help him babysit and of course the answer was no, she was mad but got over it. a week later she was begging 2 hangout w him again i told her he had 2 come out here so he did, i've been trying 2 keep the space somewhat. i guess being a teen mom myself mkes me all the more cautious. this past weekend she asked 2 go with him to his aunts 4 dinner i agreed so his mom picked her up at 1pm. well i told her it wud b undr 1 condition she wud text me when they were leaving so i cud meet them instead of driving all the way out 2 his house. well come sat she went when i texted her several times thru out the day 2 reminder her so about 6 i asked when dinner was and she said 7 well then at 7:30 she texted me that she was at the boyfds house which is a gd half hr if not alit more from the aunts house. when ?ed about it she said they ended up eating dinner earlier and that she had texted me when they were 5 mins from his house, nothing makes sentence and 2 many loop holes. i took her phone away for 3 days and limited the computer usage. they sypke and talk everyday, i cannot totally cut him out but am tryin 2 limit things cause i done feel right.  how would you handle this ?

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
GwenGray
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:39 AM

eesh IDK, she proved that she's not trust worthy. So, I'd make her prove to me that I can trust her again. She out right lied to you as well. So honestly.. I really don't know. I think I would probably monitor her skype calls with him, and have access to all of her e-mails and messages. I'd also limit them on how often she can talk to him until she has proven her self to be trust worthy again. 

Mother to Alexander. Edwyn is due in March/April <3

hardworker694
by Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:43 AM

thank u 4 the advice, yeah i feel trust has 2 be earned again. i'm gonna try my best to monitior what i can.

hardworker694
by Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:51 AM

although 1 thing i am also dealing w right now is no matter how much i explain what she did wrong, she still says she does not know what she did wrong and that i have no reason 2 not trust her

Janet
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 8:51 AM

 She knows she did. She is just trying to see what she can get away with with you. You have to let her know you are smarter than that.

Quoting hardworker694:

although 1 thing i am also dealing w right now is no matter how much i explain what she did wrong, she still says she does not know what she did wrong and that i have no reason 2 not trust her

 

goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:22 AM

Every time I read posts like this I put myself in the teens position. I'm almost 40 but I know the crap I did as a teen. My mom was similar to you and that caused me to rebel even more. If my mom knew half the shit I did (because of the way she was with me) it would put her in her grave. Idk, I guess the way I'm reading it- you're just pushing her away and she's going to act on it.

mom2gr8tgirls
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:26 AM
I agree. My sister and I were ruled with an iron fist and my sister's been in jail, got busted for underage drinking at 13, grand theft auto at 15, had a child young, dropped out of high school at 17. She rebelled hard at my parents constantly being on her. My parents were a little more relaxed with me and just trusted that I was smart enough to make the right decisions. I've never done anything more illegal than smoke cigarettes before I was 18 and drank at friends houses before I was 21.

Quoting goddess99:

Every time I read posts like this I put myself in the teens position. I'm almost 40 but I know the crap I did as a teen. My mom was similar to you and that caused me to rebel even more. If my mom knew half the shit I did (because of the way she was with me) it would put her in her grave. Idk, I guess the way I'm reading it- you're just pushing her away and she's going to act on it.

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hardworker694
by Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:04 AM

i have restricted computer useage and phone. ii believe after certain hrs she does not need 2 b on her phone. i guess the trust issue comes from how much she begs 2 hangout and see this boy, she has gone 2 the extend of doing extra cleaning around the house. mayb i'm being alit more cautious then should be. i told her doin group things w fds and him would be fine but they want to just hangout at his house and watch movies and she'll keep trying to change the time she wants me to pick her up. after the incident this weekend i did have her phone put on restriction cause she would not give it to me she said she did nothing wrong but it made me mad that i had asked her many times and she did not listen

proudmomma578
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:14 AM
1 mom liked this

I can see where your coming from as far as trust. My 15 year old son has lost my trust for so many reasons. I gave him space and freedom because I remember how I was treated as a teen and I rebelled. He made so many mistakes that we had no choice but to take his phone and ground him. I hope you and your daugher can work through this.


javamom12
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:21 AM

That's tough.  The more you try to get them away from eachother, the more ways they will find a way to do it behind your back. I would keep an eye on them, but do it in a way they won't know, in other words "spy".

IWannaLoveAgain
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:08 AM

limit it as much as possible. i look back when i was 15 and wished my mom would've limited my time with my idiot ex. my life wouldve been a lot different.. of course i wouldnt have had my kids and wouldnt be where i am today- but i had hopes and dreams, and that all went away because i was more persistant than she was when it came to seeing him,. :-\

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