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Legal advice for single pregnant mother!

Posted by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 5:11 PM
  • 11 Replies

Hi! I just joined the group. I have been looking for a group to join for some advice/help for a long time. This looks like a great fit I hope!

 I will try not to run on and be too talkative but I am going to be a 23 single mother. I was with the father for a short time and suffered with his alcoholic tendancies and split personality. He has never been physically abusive but was a very negative influence on my mental and emotional well-being for many many reasons.  We split up about 2 months before I even knew I was pregnant. (I didnt know until about 3 and 1/2 months that I even was!) I did end up telling him about it due to what I felt was obligation. I believe he atleast deserves to know. However, I do not want him involved in any aspect of this pregnancy or the babys life.

Before anyone gets upset, I will never restrict my child from meeting his father. I just believe that it should be later in the child's life. I do not trust the father to keep the child and also believe him to be a strong flight risk. He has gotten 2 DUI's in the last year, has been fired from his job twice for his temper, and overall has many split-personality tendancies as mentioned before.

Due to this situation, I am finding it hard to get information about what my rights are as a single, pregnant mother, and also what his would be if he wants to have the child in his life. Does anyone have a good resource that I can read/look into regarding the rights of each parent in the state of CO? I am definitely going to be doing the pregnancy without him, the child with share my last name, and I will be the only name on the birth certificate. But I worry that he will try to come around and be involved after the child is born, and I would just like to know what his legal rights are.

Please let me know!! Anything is appreciated!!!! :) Thank You

by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 5:11 PM
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by Sarah on Feb. 24, 2012 at 5:23 PM
Have you looked to see if you qualify for legal aide?

Even if he is a POS he is still the child's father. And at least in my state, that's all they care about.

You at least should be good for awhile though until paternity is established and all that. Before then I don't think he would have any sort of rights.
The courts do tend to frown on one parent keeping the child from another though. And that could come back to bite you later.
Hopefully he just stays gone and you have nothing to worry about. Good luck mama!
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by Michelle on Feb. 24, 2012 at 9:18 PM

I would find a lawyer that does free consults, and ask your questions.

by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 11:05 PM

Quoting goddess99:

I would find a lawyer that does free consults, and ask your questions.

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by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 11:32 PM

 first of all he would have to take you to family court to ask for a DNA ttest to prove he's the father if he's not on the birth cirtificate. no worries until paternity found, but then you will want a good lawyer...try finding out about legal aide or something. good luck...have you asked him if he'd be willing to sign off any paternal rights? dont know if you can do it before delivery or not but I had to pay for the father of my youngest to do cost me $500 Good luck!

by on Feb. 24, 2012 at 11:37 PM
First the baby gets your last name, then you need to be writing down all the problems with him. He is scary so make sure someone else always how's how he's being, not just you.
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 1:26 AM
I would see a lawyer now. You need to have things lined up just incase!
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by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 11:07 AM

 1st..look into legal aid, 2nd DO NOT put him on the birth certificate!  Let him establish paternity if he wants. 

by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 11:37 AM

Thanks for all the advice. I am absolutely searching for consultations and trying to get in touch with a lawyer. Any ideas of what sort of lawyer I should be looking at? Just a general practice or something along the lines of a family lawyer? Most places I look at are for divorce and custody rather than just custody rights...

by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:42 PM

Call a family law attorney and ask them.  Most will give a free initial consultation.  You can also contact the family law court in your area and see if they have a family law facilitator who can help you.  If you are serious about not having the sperm donor in your child's life (not having him around, no child support, his name is not on the birth certificate,etc)  Then don't see him and don't let him see or take the child.  You have no legal documentation to tie him to your baby, so he has no legal rights.

If he is abusive and an alcoholic and can't hold a job, document it.  You are protecting your child.  If he really wants to exercise his paternal rights, let him be the one to go to court and demand a paternity test and sue for visitation.  That is where your documentation comes in handy to explain your actions.  Of course, the court will make him pay back child support with interest. 

Your best bet is to contact an attorney and discuss this with him or her.

by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 3:30 PM
He does sound irresponsible, sound like he need some growing up to do. If he do try to fight, you in court, just bring up the reasons, he unfit to be a parent right now.and any proof you have to back up your claims. If he really wants to be a father, he should change his ways. You should Google the laws in your state, pertaining to child custody disputes.. In my state, we have nlsa, a group of lawyers, who help low income for a small fee, or free. Good luck
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