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I need some Help !!!! :(

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:53 AM
  • 13 Replies

 When I was 17, I began dating someone in a different state.. We online dated and being young & naive for about 2 years. During that time, I was depressed & had just lost my dog who I had for 8 years, she was my only friend during my depression due to my close, close relative passing away and also, some stuff that happened in school. I felt like I had no more friends so I stayed home and talked to this guy all the time, he was the only thing that made me feel better about my depression but things had changed after my dog, and grandpa passing..

He became more & more distant, he was cheating on me behind my back and talking to his ex. I was so depressed that I felt like I NEEDED him to save my life and he was pulling away, it was breaking my heart and it litterally has made me suffer to this day of all that heartbreak that I once had. Now, I'm 23 and I have a boyfriend and I'm having anxiety about his ex now, like.. I know nothing would happen but its caused me to feel like he is going to leave me for his ex and sometimes it causes us to fight.. I dont know how to get over that feeling of being 'not good enough', or unhappy. Its hard to explain because I fear that the heartbreak from when I was 17 & depressed is going to come back up and I will feel that heartbreak once again.. I'm an adult now, I know but it drives me crazy and my bf crazy. I am 3months pregnant and I have not eaten today, I am mentally exhausted from MY own fault of having this anxiety. Its hard to explain. I wish I could explain it better then this but I can't.. I need help to get over that and I was hoping for some suggestions on how to do that?! I need it.. I need help!!

XCANDI&TRISTYNX

by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BPiccini
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 1:05 AM
Talk to your OB about this and get some help.
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Pammi86
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 1:18 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with talking to your ob and ASAP! Keep that baby healthy! And yourself too!
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wildmama3
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 10:36 AM

Have you sat down with your BF and explained to him why you have these anxieties? Does he know what you went through when you were younger? 

My mom used to always say, "If you are having a hard time getting your feelings to come out right, pick up a pencil and paper and start writing a letter". If you choose to do this, you can give it to your BF and explain to him that before he reads it, it is not intended to get him upset. Only that you need to explain where you are coming from. You don't even have to be around when he reads it. You can put it in his pocket for later.

 If ya'll truly love each other, then you need to lean on each other to get through this. What matters right this minute, today, is that ya'll are getting ready to start a new journey in life together. That needs to be the main focus.  If he still wanted to be with his ex, he wouldn't be with you right now, but he is. That should tell you something right there.

And make sure you take care of that baby. You will only get more depressed if you don't eat. I know this from personal experience. Go grab a piece of chocolate. That always makes me feel better.

Trust in your love and start looking in the mirror everyday and tell yourself you are worth it, you are beautiful. You are creating a life inside of you. Reaffirm your love to your BF and let him know it.  Focus on your family.  Good Luck hun.

goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 25, 2012 at 3:01 PM

You're right, you do need help. You really Need to talk to your doctor about this. And you Need to take care of your baby.

Pherlyce
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 4:04 PM

What the other mom's advice is what you need to do,see your doctor and also find ways to occupy yourself.  take care of yourself and the baby with you.  may God watch over you and guide you in every ways.

proudmommyof09
by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 5:50 PM

Hi there, when I was 17 I fell in love with this guy and I was also naive and i became pregnant also. But the same time, that guy treated me like crap. He accused me of everyone under the sun, even his own father. I finally got the courage to leave him when my son was 2 months. I know what you are goin through. Even though you had a rough past, you gotta do whats best for that baby. trust me, when you have that baby everything will change immediately for you and your boyfriend. After I  moved out, I went through a couple of other rocky relationships then I met this other guy that stayed with me and is still with me to this day goin on 3 years. If your man will stay with you through all this then you know he wants you. I still accuse my bf of doing stuff as well, but in the back of my head I know none of its true. Dont let things worry you so much hunny, everything will work out and after you have that little bundle of joy, you will realize it was all worth it, even if you to arent together in the future. Just do whats best for you and that child. I know its hard but just try to ignore everything that is getting you down and it will make you happy. I am now on my 3rd child now and everytime I look at my oldest son, it reminds me of everything I had to go through before he got here, and it makes me love him even more and makes me and him very close to each other. Me and my first son are alot closer than me and any guy will ever be. I dont know if this helps much, but I can relate to your situation and if you need someone to talk to, I will be here for you at anytime.    Jessica

jltplk25
by Gold Member on Feb. 25, 2012 at 6:54 PM
Very good advice.

Op- you need to take care of yourself and that baby. You admitting you need help is wonderful... We can only do so much so please, please talk to your OB.


Quoting wildmama3:

Have you sat down with your BF and explained to him why you have these anxieties? Does he know what you went through when you were younger? 


My mom used to always say, "If you are having a hard time getting your feelings to come out right, pick up a pencil and paper and start writing a letter". If you choose to do this, you can give it to your BF and explain to him that before he reads it, it is not intended to get him upset. Only that you need to explain where you are coming from. You don't even have to be around when he reads it. You can put it in his pocket for later.


 If ya'll truly love each other, then you need to lean on each other to get through this. What matters right this minute, today, is that ya'll are getting ready to start a new journey in life together. That needs to be the main focus.  If he still wanted to be with his ex, he wouldn't be with you right now, but he is. That should tell you something right there.


And make sure you take care of that baby. You will only get more depressed if you don't eat. I know this from personal experience. Go grab a piece of chocolate. That always makes me feel better.


Trust in your love and start looking in the mirror everyday and tell yourself you are worth it, you are beautiful. You are creating a life inside of you. Reaffirm your love to your BF and let him know it.  Focus on your family.  Good Luck hun.


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splatz
by Sarah on Feb. 25, 2012 at 11:20 PM

Talk to your OB. Not eating is not good for you or the baby. I know its hard.. But, you have to not let the past effect your future. I nearly ruined my relationship with my bf because I kept letting the past get in the way. We have been together almost 3 years now. And sometimes I STILL have to remind myself that he is not my ex. And that he will not put me through what my ex husband put me through.

I hope things get better for you soon!



delanna6two
by Platinum Member on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:42 AM

Hugs...I agree with getting help from your drs...hope you get things worked out...

Kristin63
by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 4:09 AM

You have already taken the first step by acknowledging that you need help. Definitely talk to your Dr and get a referral to a counselor. Sometimes talking to an impartial person helps put things into perspective. It sounds like you have not gotten over the death of yur dog or your grandpa. Talking to someone always helps. When I lost my mother-in-law, who was my best friend, I felt like a part of me died with her and I couldn't get it back no matter how hard I tried. This was 4 years ago. I miss her everyday! I lost my mom a year ago, my dad 9 years ago, and just this last October we lost my father-in-law. My children now have no grandparents. They were extremely close to all of them. It is so hard to losw someone close to you, I know! You have all my sympapthy in your loses. Remeber that God is always there for you and He truly does here your paryers, so keep praying, things will get better. Above all talk to your boyfriend because guess what? he can not read your mind, much as we would all like the men in our life to be able to do that. God Bless you in this difficult time.

Kristin

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