Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

I need to just let this out

Posted by   + Show Post

 I have a friend who has some issues mentally.   A few months ago she slit her wrist down to the bone, she is on meds and is trying to get her life under control.  She has anxiety issues and has been prescribed a new medication, she felt off after taking the med and was home alone with her children she called a mutual friend who was over my house and told her she wasn't well and needed help, we both packed up our kids and headed over thinking our kids would play with her kids and we could take care of her.   She was jittery and feeling sick but not acting in anyway that would disturb the kids unless she actually did pass out or vomit.   So the kids went off to play in another room and we stayed with our friend, her husband came by (he works nights, it was his lunch) to drop off a refill for the old meds.   She took one of those when it was time for the next dose and after a bit you could tell the difference, she was immediately much calmer and more perky.   By the time we left she was herself.    Well here's where the venting comes in, my stbxh usually picks up the kids Friday night and returns them Sunday morning.   I had told him I was having friends over and asked him to come by a little later than usual to give the kids some time with their friends, well when my friend called for help I called him to see if he could come get the kids, he was still at work, I suggested dropping them off with his mom or my mom and he said to forget it I could just keep them for the night and he'd pick them up in the morning.   Today he picks them up and asks me where they ended up staying, I said with me.   He immediately gave me an attitude "oh so it's ok for you to take them with you to deal with that bullshit but I can't take them to my friends to play with her kids"  he is referring to the fact that two weeks after he moved out he found a girlfriend and took the kids on a date with her - I found out through my kids.   We had agreed that when we started dating we would not involve the kids until we knew the person and knew it was a serious relationship - this was his first date with her, he had met her the weekend before, so he knew her a week.   When I found out she had given my dd a bath I flipped, he didn't know this person well enough to trust her around my kids.  I made a point to tell him I didn't want her around them period, if he wanted to see her he could do it when the kids weren't around.   He broke up with her in December when it finally dawned on him after repeatedly being told by myself and his family that what he was doing was wrong because he is a married man who isn't even legally seperated.   So now here he is comparing helping a friend with taking kids to his mistress' house.   I wanted to scream.   I taught my kids that helping a friend in the time of need is a good thing, he was teaching them that it is ok to cheat on your wife.   We try not to argue in front of the kids, we play nice in their presence but it is ok for him to give me an attitude, walk away while I am trying to talk to him and belittle me by talking down to me in front of my children.  I did not stoop to his level I maintained my composure the best I could and now I am a mess - the man does not deserve any more of my tears but I just can't find any other outlet.    He ruined this marriage not me, why am I the one who has to suffer for it.   Sorry ladies I needed to let it out.   I really thought I was at the point where his crap wouldn't bother me anymore, apparently I was wrong.

by on Mar. 3, 2012 at 10:30 AM
Replies (11-12):
sllytnkrbl
by on Mar. 3, 2012 at 5:41 PM

 The house is mine.   I will be fine if he takes care of insurance and continues to pay me weekly for help with the kids as he has been doing, providing I get that job soon otherwise I may have to go after alimony as well which will pose a problem but I will deal with that when the time comes.   I hate having to depend upon him for anything it really sucks.

Quoting goddess99:

Oh that sucks! Well if divorce does happen make sure HE has to pay for the house and You and the kids continue to live in it. Well unless of course this is Your house from before you married, and it's just your name on the mortgage, in that case you'll have to continue paying. I hope things work out for you. Best of luck. Divorce is always sad, no matter what.

Quoting sllytnkrbl:

 I am in Rhode Island, the reason is that his insurance is actually supplied from out of state so it is optional for them to continue to carry me unless he files, in which case it can be included it as a stipulation in the divorce decree, he pays the same whether he has me on it or not because he will keep the kids on it so he has agreed to it, if I file then his company won't keep my name on insurance because they don't have to since the state does not obligate it.    I am currently a student and unemployed.  I finish school soon and will be on externship, hopefully I will get hired by the site, but if not I will have no income.  I am living off savings and certainly can't afford a lawyer or to pay for health insurance and with the vaccinations I need to get and past health issues insurance is a necessity so while I wish I could just drop it I can't - I have a house to pay for, and two kids to support I can't risk my health.   In reality though even if health insurance weren't an issue, I really can't pull from my savings which is my only means of paying bills right now to pay for a lawyer when I don't know how long I will be living off these savings.

Quoting goddess99:

omg what state is that? I never heard of anything so stupid. But I would never let that stop me from filing for divorce.

Quoting sllytnkrbl:

In my state I can't file divorce if I want him to pay my health insurance so I have to wait for him to do it, which I hope will be soon.

Quoting goddess99:

I'm sorry. Exs are such asses who definitely don't think with the big head.

I would not cry over him anymore because obviously he is not worth it. I would just start the divorce procedure, assuming that is what you want.


 


 

Pammi86
by Pamela on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:15 AM
I'm so sorry your dealing with this! I hope it gets better!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN