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Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

I'm the mom of a toddler (21 months) and am expecting our second baby in June.  My partner works at a local non-profit and I am lucky enough to stay at home with our son.  Before our son was born I also worked; I had a director level position at a national non-profit and was pretty career oriented.  I actually never imagined I'd be a stay-at-home-mom, but an ill-timed layoff turned out to be a blessing in disguise.  Now my days are filled with playgrounds, snacktimes, and crafts - and I'm not looking back.  

I take my responsibilities as a stay-at-home-parent very seriously, and try to approach the role as though it were a traditional job.  I set goals for myself each week, look back over the day and evaluate my performance, and try to maintain some accountability for myself.  That's not to say that I don't take advantage of the flexibility and freedom of being at home and setting my own schedule - and there are days when I skate by with the bare minimum (keep the kid fed/dry/alive and don't let the house burn down), but I try to make those days the exception, not the rule.  

In order to assess my days and set goals I've come up with a list of components for a successful day in our household.  Here are the main goals for my days as a stay-at-home-mom:

1.  Prepare and serve healthy and nutritious meals.  Ideally hitting all the colors of the fruit/veggie rainbow throughout the day.
2.  Make the house a little better than it was.  This is beyond basic upkeep (dishes, sweeping, laundry) and should include something like a home improvement project or tackling a long overdue organization task.
3.  Get out of the house.  Go to the playground, grocery store, library, thrift shop, zoo - anywhere.  Just get out.
4.  Do something enriching with my toddler and give him my undivided attention for a span of time.  This can be as simple as singing songs, going over colors, reading books - or can be an outing to the museum.
5.  Don't lose my temper.  This one I struggle with, especially when I'm burning through the other items on the list - but I don't want my kids to grow up in a household where yelling is the norm.
6.  Focus on my relationship.  Have a conversation with my partner without the toddler hogging my attention, make one of her favorite meals, or cuddle on the couch while we watch a program we enjoy after our toddler is in bed.  
7.  Do something for myself.  Work on my blog/writing, email an old friend, paint my nails, or do some yoga.  

RARELY do I hit all these goals in a single day, but I try to make sure I've covered the list over a week and the more items I can check off in one day, the more successful I consider that day.  If I have a day that misses the mark - or all the marks - I try and do better the next day.  The first trimester seemed like one long string of days that missed the mark - but that was alright, too.  One of the perks of this job is that my team of co-workers always have my back and are understanding on the days when I can't "juggle it all."

by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Replies (41-50):
Bmat
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2012 at 10:08 PM

Staying home is indeed a job.  I was asked by an unpleasant character once if I had a job. I said yes. He said what?  I said I am a mother and wife.  He backed off then and rephrased his question.

babyboxfish
by on Mar. 9, 2012 at 12:25 AM

Great goals, and you sound awesome!! :D

ceciliam
by on Mar. 9, 2012 at 9:57 AM

Having goals and a schedule are SO important!

suziejax
by Member on Mar. 10, 2012 at 9:44 PM

great!

elasmimi
by on Mar. 11, 2012 at 10:14 AM

I am finally, at the age of 64, a SAHM to a 5 y/o. I think sometimes I was more organized when I was working, because I procrastinate now, thinking I have every day to do things.

iluv2read
by on Mar. 11, 2012 at 1:55 PM

I think #5 was hardest for me since me being a SAHM was very stressful in the beginning and being stressed out so much made it hard to cope with small things that shouldn't bother me. I also grew up in a house where yelling was the norm, but I don't want that for my kids.

MamaBear2cubs
by Bronze Member on Mar. 12, 2012 at 9:23 AM

I should set some goals!

LancesMom
by Member on Mar. 12, 2012 at 9:50 AM

I need to do #3! I seem to be home way more than most.

gacgbaker
by on Mar. 12, 2012 at 10:14 AM


Quoting elasmimi:

I am finally, at the age of 64, a SAHM to a 5 y/o. I think sometimes I was more organized when I was working, because I procrastinate now, thinking I have every day to do things.

I think that can be true- when you have a set schedule forced on you for work, you do what you have to- but if you have to set the schedule it's harder, at least for me.

gacgbaker
by on Mar. 12, 2012 at 10:15 AM


Quoting Bmat:

Staying home is indeed a job.  I was asked by an unpleasant character once if I had a job. I said yes. He said what?  I said I am a mother and wife.  He backed off then and rephrased his question.

It definitely is a job!

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