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Have you ever met moms who resent you for not having more kids?

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 3:17 PM
  • 16 Replies

I'm a youthful looking 39 year old of a teenaged daughter.  She's my only child (though she has half brothers/sisters on her father's side). After I had my daughter I decided that I never wanted any more kids. She's a handful on her own (can't imagine more than one!) 

Women I knew were like "why are you depriving her of a sibling?" I responded by saying if she wanted someone to play with there were kids in school.

I don't keep lots and lots of pics everywhere of her, I don't always mention her to people because that's not who I am. Besides, having kids aren't cheap. They suck the life out of you and your sanity. Kudos to those who can handle that. I wasn't meant to be a mom but I am. Of one. 

by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 3:17 PM
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by Platinum Member on Mar. 6, 2012 at 3:21 PM

To each his or her own....I try to respect others...even if that's not my choice...we all have a right to our own.

by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 3:29 PM

I am 30 and expecting my fourth, so I get the exact opposite...even from my OB/GYN. I know she is looking out for my mental stability though. LOL Sometimes I go in and she asks how I am doing and I say 'STRESSED!'. My DS is 13 and my older DD is 12, so I definitely understand one being more than enough to handle! My second DD is 18 months and I am due May 12th. I think it's your own personal preference. It isn't something that should have other people looking at you differently, or just flat out asking why you only have one. Maybe they regret having more kids than they could handle?  And yes...I am a little less sane after every single one I have.

by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 3:41 PM

I admire moms who have that inner strenght of child rearing with more than one kid. My cousin has four daughters and she does things with them and they great kids. I guess I lacked the patience with this one!

by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 3:43 PM
I have no problem with those that only want 1 child. I always knew that I would have at least 2 because my mom is an only and she hated it. Well, we got our girl and our boy and we are done. We keep getting asked if we are having more to which I respond, " No, my husband took care of that when our son was 1 month old,". Unless we fall into the .01% of couples who conceive after a vasectomy, we are done.
by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 3:46 PM
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If you felt that strongly about not wanting to be a mother and not wanting a house full of kids then I'd say you did the right thing. Better to have other mom's resenting you than for you to end up resenting your kids because you had more than you really wanted. I've had people assume I was done having kids because I have one of each. When people found out I was having my second and that it was a girl, they would literally say, "well I guess you don't have to worry about being pregnant again now that you have one of each". To me that never made sense lol.

by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 4:59 PM

Yes, I got the 'depriving' argument too.  Folks still just flat ask, "Why haven't you given so-and-so a brother or sister?"  I smile and answer "Just wasn't in the cards."  What I *really* want to do is scream in their face, "Because my body crapped out on me and I nearly died twice trying for another child!!!!"

I love my kid to bits and would not change a thing about the little imp.  I get sooo frustrated when folks seem to think getting another child is just like picking up a loaf a bread at the store.  Whether you have one child, two, or nineteen, it's a personal decision - either made purposefully or nature made it for you, and it's no one elses business.

Ummm.  Okay - I am stepping away from the soapbox now.

by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 5:17 PM

YES !!   When my daughter was a baby, I only wanted one.  She was a handful.   My in laws were horrified that I only wanted one. Hubby wanted a boy so we tried again and got a boy.   Now they are horrified that we want one or two more. 

by Jennifer on Mar. 6, 2012 at 6:05 PM

I only had one child and she is 24 now and no one ever resented me for not having anymore.

by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 6:05 PM
I'm an only child and I hated it. BUT I understand why others choose to have just one.

I have a 5 year old boy and a 20 month old girl. When I was pregnant with Lexi, I had people tell me I could stop having kids since I'd have one of each. Doesn't matter what side of the coin you play, someone has their opinions about it.
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by on Mar. 6, 2012 at 7:02 PM

thank you very much for the lovely answers! :) 

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