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holy crap he is spending our bill money on his son!!!!!!!!!

Posted by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 5:21 PM
  • 36 Replies

ok so my ss came to live with us for 6 months in feb. and he is 13. his mother would get him whatever he wanted, we get what he needs....there a three other kids in the house, dh is on SSD, and i am a sahm. his mother went bankrupt by the way. so we have 2 bills still do and he took his son out to the batting cages($35.00) out to eat for lunch($25.00) candy from the store($13.00)his hair cut,which it needed($16.00)and 2 slushies from the gasstation($3.00)plus gas to get all over the place today($10.00). that was $102.00 for the day for him. this is fucken bullshit(sorry). i get yelled at if i spend $3.00 once a month to get a coffee from dunkinD. we just cant be spending like that. i dont do it for my kids. but his son gets what he wants i guess. even if that means bills dont get paid. i am counting down the days until he goes home, then i can get my home back. oh and dh doesnt make him put away his clothes or clen ANYTHING. my 8 yearold just put away all his clothes for next week. right now i could just flip. and just to stop you now, there is no telling him what to spend money on and hat not to. he says its HIS money and he will do with it what he wants. but he wont watch the babies so i can go to work and have money of my own. i get $40.00 a month...thats for gas,tampons,pads,and anything else i might need. but it goes all to gas most of the time. fucked up right??/??

by on Mar. 24, 2012 at 5:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
goddess99
by Michelle on Mar. 24, 2012 at 6:33 PM

He does seem financially reckless but also sounds like a weekend (6 months in your case) dad. Tough one because you already talked to him and he honestly seems like he doesn't care, he just wants his son to have a good time when they're together. Men are so interesting when it comes to their kids. I can sit here and say my ex is a piece of sh!t but when he has our daughter which is maybe once a month for a weekend, he thinks Nothing of dropping hundreds, but he's also single and can afford it. But when he was in a relationship, that woman meant nothing to him compared to our daughter. Idk if it's a guilt thing or what...???

splatz
by Sarah on Mar. 24, 2012 at 7:58 PM

In those types of cases dads often think they need to buy their childrens love. 

hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 3:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Its his son, I wish my kids father would show his kids some love, spend some quality time with them.
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noTimetothink
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 3:58 PM

so what because it's HIS son that means he can spend the money for bills on HIS son rather then keeping everything paid? and i get hell if i spend any money on MY son, and im talking about a $1.99 muffin at a gasstation after his therapy appt. bills need to come before extras. HIS son knew we are always on a tight budget here, but he still wanted to live her for 6 months. why should everyone else go with out so HIS son can eat out, and play baseball, and get candy. none of that is ok. i dont do it for MY 3 kids. he treats HIS son like gold and never mind the others in the house. its just messed up

Quotiso what ng hopealways4019:

Its his son, I wish my kids father would show his kids some love, spend some quality time with them.


hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 4:13 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't understand? How y'all is living off one ssi check anyway! Since your husband is home, have him babysit, while you go find a job.But don't be mad at his son, he a kid, its not his fault.


Quoting noTimetothink:

so what because it's HIS son that means he can spend the money for bills on HIS son rather then keeping everything paid? and i get hell if i spend any money on MY son, and im talking about a $1.99 muffin at a gasstation after his therapy appt. bills need to come before extras. HIS son knew we are always on a tight budget here, but he still wanted to live her for 6 months. why should everyone else go with out so HIS son can eat out, and play baseball, and get candy. none of that is ok. i dont do it for MY 3 kids. he treats HIS son like gold and never mind the others in the house. its just messed up


Quotiso what ng hopealways4019:

Its his son, I wish my kids father would show his kids some love, spend some quality time with them.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jltplk25
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 4:21 PM
She said in the OP that he won't watch the kids so she can find a job.

To the OP- you said your mil went bankrupt. Can/will she watch your LOs so you can work?


Quoting hopealways4019:

I don't understand? How y'all is living off one ssi check anyway! Since your husband is home, have him babysit, while you go find a job.But don't be mad at his son, he a kid, its not his fault.




Quoting noTimetothink:

so what because it's HIS son that means he can spend the money for bills on HIS son rather then keeping everything paid? and i get hell if i spend any money on MY son, and im talking about a $1.99 muffin at a gasstation after his therapy appt. bills need to come before extras. HIS son knew we are always on a tight budget here, but he still wanted to live her for 6 months. why should everyone else go with out so HIS son can eat out, and play baseball, and get candy. none of that is ok. i dont do it for MY 3 kids. he treats HIS son like gold and never mind the others in the house. its just messed up



Quotiso what ng hopealways4019:

Its his son, I wish my kids father would show his kids some love, spend some quality time with them.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
3brown1blue
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 4:34 PM
1 mom liked this
I hate when men say it's THEIR money. I'm sorry but if you're married it's everyone's money. Men like that aren't worth being with in the first place
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noTimetothink
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 4:57 PM

no not my mil went bankrupt, my ss mother did because she had to always buy what he and she wanted not what they needed. and my mil is 64.......i would never ask her to watch a 2 and 3 yo.  i do not want that to happen to us.

noTimetothink
by on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:06 PM

im not mad at my ss....its not that. im mad because dh would rather put his son before the whole household. and dh cant watch the babies....with all the meds he takes i would not trust him with the girls. and paying our bills is hard trust me...but we do it and have never had anything turned off. we have our lot rent,phone/internet, car ins, power bill, po box, gas, other things for he house. we do get fs thank god. i dont know what we would do with out it right now. when my youngest starts preschool next year i will be going to work...but i cant right now. what does make me mad about his son is when we tell him no its not something we can get right now he will try to guilt us...it doesnt work on me but is does on dh.

Quoting hopealways4019:

I don't understand? How y'all is living off one ssi check anyway! Since your husband is home, have him babysit, while you go find a job.But don't be mad at his son, he a kid, its not his fault.


Quoting noTimetothink:

so what because it's HIS son that means he can spend the money for bills on HIS son rather then keeping everything paid? and i get hell if i spend any money on MY son, and im talking about a $1.99 muffin at a gasstation after his therapy appt. bills need to come before extras. HIS son knew we are always on a tight budget here, but he still wanted to live her for 6 months. why should everyone else go with out so HIS son can eat out, and play baseball, and get candy. none of that is ok. i dont do it for MY 3 kids. he treats HIS son like gold and never mind the others in the house. its just messed up


Quotiso what ng hopealways4019:

Its his son, I wish my kids father would show his kids some love, spend some quality time with them.

 



hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:18 PM
I'm sorry this is happening, I hope things get better,hopefully in three years his son will have a job, that is a while off, or when he turn 14 a summer job, good luck, with everything!


Quoting noTimetothink:

im not mad at my ss....its not that. im mad because dh would rather put his son before the whole household. and dh cant watch the babies....with all the meds he takes i would not trust him with the girls. and paying our bills is hard trust me...but we do it and have never had anything turned off. we have our lot rent,phone/internet, car ins, power bill, po box, gas, other things for he house. we do get fs thank god. i dont know what we would do with out it right now. when my youngest starts preschool next year i will be going to work...but i cant right now. what does make me mad about his son is when we tell him no its not something we can get right now he will try to guilt us...it doesnt work on me but is does on dh.


Quoting hopealways4019:

I don't understand? How y'all is living off one ssi check anyway! Since your husband is home, have him babysit, while you go find a job.But don't be mad at his son, he a kid, its not his fault.



Quoting noTimetothink:


so what because it's HIS son that means he can spend the money for bills on HIS son rather then keeping everything paid? and i get hell if i spend any money on MY son, and im talking about a $1.99 muffin at a gasstation after his therapy appt. bills need to come before extras. HIS son knew we are always on a tight budget here, but he still wanted to live her for 6 months. why should everyone else go with out so HIS son can eat out, and play baseball, and get candy. none of that is ok. i dont do it for MY 3 kids. he treats HIS son like gold and never mind the others in the house. its just messed up



Quotiso what ng hopealways4019:

Its his son, I wish my kids father would show his kids some love, spend some quality time with them.


 





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