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brother in law has a question

My brother in law came over tonight needing some advice. The girl he has been seeing for the last 3 weeks found out today that she is pregnant. He told him she had been having unprotected sex with another guy before they were together. She also told him that she is planning on getting an abortion. They have had sex (with a condom every time) since the 3rd of this month. He is incredibly torn over how to think a nd act about this. Me and df both think it is incredibly unlikely the baby is his. He kind of understands about the abortion. She has very low blood calcium and a pregnancy could either cause her to be on bed rest hooked up to iv medication for the duration, or possibly kill her. If the baby is his, he wants her. To try and keep it and be a father. He is looking for other womens opinions on whether the baby is his, and how he should deal with it. Any help would be greatly appreciated ladies! Thanx!
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by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 10:29 PM
Replies (11-19):
splatz
by Sarah on Mar. 27, 2012 at 8:45 PM

I would be really suprised if that baby was his. 

jltplk25
by Gold Member on Mar. 27, 2012 at 9:16 PM
Tell him not walk but run away from this woman. She does not sound like the sort of woman your bil deserves.

Eta: I mean that as a compliment to your bil. Lol
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goddess99
by Michelle on Mar. 28, 2012 at 10:11 AM

The woman sounds like a loser, I doubt it's his. He should move on. jmo

strungoutmom
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 10:58 AM

 what I do not get is the fact that she knows that being pregnant can kill her or not be a really good pregnancy then why not get on some sort of permanent birth control? Like IUD, the ones where they insert a stint I guess in your arm for the birth control then u do not have to remember to take it.  Or just get the tubes tied. I know I would have done something like that if it was me.  I am wondering if she is not trying to just use your brother to take care of her and her other children, or just using him in general.  I would get a paternity test as soon as it was able, even look into what the other poster said, about if u need to use the baby for the Paternity Test. This way he can know for sure who's it is and what is going on. can u keep us posted would love to know how this all turns out.

Mahonwife09
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 11:02 AM
I don't think it would be his baby...but I do think that she should give the baby up for adoption instead of killing it though...but that's my opinion!
KaysMom06
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 11:29 AM

my advice? RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my07angel
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 1:59 PM

 Three weeks is the entire amount of time they've been seeing eachother??  It wouldn't show up yet if she got pregnant by him three weeks ago. Highly unlikely it's his...

The abortion issue is their choice.. her choice.. If this could kill her then that is a very personal and difficult thing that I think he should be talking to HER about. He can get all the advice here he wants but it all comes down to her wishes and her body... this sounds like a very serious thing and she's likely scared to death, so I wish them all well in whatever they choose to do.  On a personal note, I've seen it happen - carrying a baby and then mom dies (kept the pregnancy knowing she had a super high risk), and it's something to really consider.

cookinmommyof1
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2012 at 2:09 PM

she told  him that she wass going to get a drs appt and have them do an unltra sound to see how far along she is. then he would pretty much know for sre that the baby isnt his, like people keep telling him. she just hasnt told him whether she got one or not. he told her that if the baby is his, he will move closer to where she is and her and the kids will move in with him and he will be a good dad. he grew up without a father figure for the most part, and he doesnt want that for his future kids. i know their childhood was pretty hard on them. she has an appointment for saturday to get the abortion, and i know they will do an ultrasound then to see how far along she is. but he doesnt want to be there for the abortion. he is expremely pro life, except for cases of rape, incest, or life/death. i think he is going to wish her the best and continue on with his life. i think she thinks that this is how she is supposed to live her life. she is promiscuous, and like being the center of attention and having all kinds of losers chasing after her. she is still "friends" with all of her exs, and i think theyre "special" friends.

3brown1blue
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Ew...have him get tested for diseases as well...doesn't sound very clean in the first place. He needs to have her get a DNA test for the unborn baby. And if it isn't his...he needs to forget about her ...
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