Anyone ever moved to another state away from grandparents? Need advice.
My husband has been looking for a new job. He applied for a job in NC (we are currently in NY) and they asked him to interview. We told both our parents about the interview, who live very close to us right now. My mother was fine with it as my brother lives in NC and eventually she will move down there someday. However, his parents are fuming mad because if we move away then we will be taking there only grandchild with us. I feel horrible that they are so upset and it is weighing heavy on our decision to move if my husband gets the job. I feel they are being a bit selfish in this whole matter but I also understand where they are coming from. I don't know what to do or say to make this situation any smoother. Any advice or experiences you can share that might help me!! I have had such anxiety over this whole thing. Thanks.
They are not in a position to move also, at least not for a few more years.
Tell them it's a tough decision for you too, but you are going to make the best decision for your family. Maybe you can schedule a time with them weekly or even a few days per week that you can all skype. I know it's not the same, but at least they will still get to see their grandchild regularly.
I know it's hard, but you and your husband really just have to think about yourselves and your child and what is best for you. Hopefully, your inlaws adjust and understand eventually.
I moved from TX to AZ when I was pregnant with my son. We lived there for almost 3 years. It was rough, but I called every day.
We are about to do this again, except this time my parents are moving. We are following them in a few years. Skype didn't exist yet when I was in AZ but we are planning on using that for the next few years, along with trips to still get time together. My mom is already planning to be here for a few weeks when school starts so she can see her granddaughter start kindergarten and her grandson start middle school. And we are going up for Christmas.
We moved away from our hometown 5 years ago, before we had our DD. However, when we moved, we knew that we would want to start a family someday and wanted to have family be part of their lives. So we drew a circle on the map that was within 6 hours driving distance of home and that is where we looked for jobs. And we ended up 2 states and 4 1/2 hours away:)
We moved from OK to Alaska & my dh's folks had a hissy fit. Then they visited & figured we weren't letting polar bears raise our cubs & nobody was living in an igloo. Once the kids were a little older they flew together to OK to visit grandparents (& cousins, uncles & aunts) every summer. My MIL even admitted she thought we'd found the perfect place to raise our family.
If your dh gets the job start planning when they can visit you right away & what day of the week they can phone regularly to talk to the kids. Kids have grown up & moved away to start their own lives for eons & your inlaws will adjust, it's just the surprise that has them upset.
p.s. Invest in a computer with a camera if you haven't already - it's a lot easier to have internet visits!
DH and I live in WI. His whole family lives in TN and AK. My whole family lives in CA. They are of course upset that they can't see DD whenever they want, but we try to visit them as often as we can, which amounts to about 1 visit each per year. I think what I was most upset by was DH's grandmother. We moved from TN to WI and she didn't do the angry thing, she did the guilt thing. Can't STAND that. She wanted us to live with her. We were already living with DH's uncle, helping with the kids. When DH got the job offer, my family was so happy for us. A bit disappointed, but happy that we'd have our own place and one of us would be finally working. It'll take time for everyone to adjust, and you'll still get frustrating comments every now and again, but if it's better for you and your child, then go.
Quoting Susan0805:
We are a military family, so yeah, we have never lived in the same state as granparents!
I was/am in the same boat. but sometimes you need to do whats best for you and your household. if that job opprotunity would make a better life for you and yours than by all means, go for it! You'll miss people, but sometimes thats just the way it goes. Best of luck to your hubby on his interview
Thinking About Taking DS Out of Daycare....
- maddielynsmomma
on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:46 AM