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How to cope.

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:20 AM
  • 8 Replies

I have lose children but not to death. I need advice on how to cope with everything

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:20 AM
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Replies (1-8):
goddess99
by Michelle on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:37 AM

Sorry you're going through this. But if you want real advice you may have to give a little more info into your situation.

cathy0503
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:24 PM

I am a mother of 4 My oldest lives in Chicago with his father and due to bad choices in my past i have lost 2 of my children into the system. I Have my youngest daughter with me and i am living a pretty normal life but i cant figure out how to live without my babies


shadow_lark
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:00 PM

 Is there any way you can get them back?  Maybe you need to find a goal for yourself, or a hobby.  Something to help you find yourself and begin to become someone whocan care for her children......

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:07 PM

I would get hold of the system and see what you have to do to get your kids back. 

cathy0503
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:20 PM

My rights were terminated for them they are both adpoted into the same family now i am abled to send letters thur the local fssa office. I am not able to know where they live. Mackinze will be 4 in aug and Bobby will be 3 in sept. 

@shadow try and it works sometimes. Its going to be 3 yrs since all this started and i have had my good moments and my bad. I just cant seem to truly come to part with this. Its not that i cant care for my daughter now its just when i am by my self lost in thought i get sad and ashamed and lonely. Morgan is what i live for she is my heart and my world. But i know i could be a better mother and person if i learn to....not get over this but learn to move on. I dont know if that the right way to say it or not i am still very lost.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:02 PM

Maybe see a psychiatrist to help you cope with it.

yourpassion
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:04 PM



Quoting MistressMinerva:

Maybe see a psychiatrist to help you cope with it.


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kaitybird
by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:33 PM

You should really see someone whether it be a psychiatrist or counselor.  They are there to help.  It is very hard but it is possible.  You may not have your other kids, but you should focus on the good things in your life and work your way to getting visitation if at all possible.  

You will have bad days and you will have good days.  Everything in life happens for a reason and I firmly believe you are not handed any more than you can handle.  We are here to help you too we won't bash.  

I speak from experience on this.  My ex got our 2 boys back when I had to leave Adak, AK back in 1988 due to he quit being my sponsor, and without a sponsor I couldn't stay.  My boys were barely 2 and not even 1 at the time.  That was the hardest thing in life I ever had to do.  Now 24 years later I can say there are times when I miss them terribly and there are times when I don't worry.  They have been raised and the damage is done and I cannot go back and change any of it.  I know that I have been forgiven because I have been happily married for the last almost 18 years and we have a beautiful daughter who is 15.  They are my life.  In my case I had to let go because of the father and his threats.  My sons have thanked me for not being in their lives, only because the abuse their father inflicted on them would have been much worse than what it was.  I talk to my sons here and there but the relationship is damaged and either we will have one or we will not and that is okay, I came to terms with what I did and everything that has happened in life.  

It also may help to write a journal.  You can write your thoughts and everything down and sometimes it helps.  

Make goals small ones and work towards them one at a time.  I think in the end everything will work out the way that it should.  :)

Good luck to you and remember we are here to help and talk with you!  

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