Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

Missing something

Posted by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:57 AM
  • 10 Replies
2 moms liked this

Hi I will first introduce myself because im new to the forum.  My name is krissie. I am 27, and have 3 children ages 9, 6, and 1.  I came across this site doing a search.  It appealed to me, so here I am. I hate to join especially this way but I really didn't know where to go. So here goes. I am engaged, and a stay at home mom. I do the usual things that a stay at home mom does.  I take care of everything in the house. I am constantly busy which I'm sure you all can relate to (which is a reason I thought this site would be good for me). I just really feel like I am missing something. I can't put my finger on it. It's not religion so thanks ladies who were going to put that. When I was younger the family life was never in my future.  I never knew it growing up, and I never planned on having it in my future.  I wanted a fast life and to see everything. I had gotten pregnant young (18). I stepped up to the plate and did what a mother should do. I do not regret that one bit.  Having my son was the best thing in my life. A few years later I had my daughter, and last year I had my son. I feel like I have no idea who I am, and I don't know where to begin in figuring that out. I try to explain that to my fiance but he doesn't get it. When I explain it to him about how I feel like I'm missing something and I have mentioned that I think it's because I'm busy taking care of everyone else, I get a comparison of how difficult things are for him. Like he stops listening and focuses on one thing I say and goes from there.  And I give him full credit for going out and working, but it seems on his days off he's able to walk out the door and do what he wants.  And when I say that it's not as bad as it sounds. It's more his days off are his days off.  He does not put it that way. But me on the other hand I have to answer to everybody to make sure its okay. I guess I'm kind of jealous of the fact that he has days off while I feel chained to this house. Idk. It's not that I don't love him or the kids because I do, but I just feel lost and trapped if that makes any sense at all. If you need more clarification don't hesitate. I'm kind of just rambling.  And so sorry I am joining like this, I'm not typically a whiner, lol. Thanks in advance for anyone taking the time to read this. Oh and I am not depressed.

by on May. 9, 2012 at 1:57 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
swmmra
by on May. 9, 2012 at 5:11 PM

you do need to be able to take time for youself. A happy, healthy mom takes better care of herself and her family. You should be able to get out of the house without the children, and not just to go run errands, but to just be out of the house. You need to find something to do that is for you, dance class, pottery, journaling, biking, whatever, but it needs to be time for you to be with you (and maybe some other friends) with out kids. Have you are you SO tried switching roles for a day? He stays home to take care of kids and you get to leave the house to go "to work"? try it some time on a weekend, I bet that he will understand you a little better. 

chellenout
by on May. 9, 2012 at 6:34 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting krissie28:

Hi I will first introduce myself because im new to the forum.  My name is krissie. I am 27, and have 3 children ages 9, 6, and 1.  I came across this site doing a search.  It appealed to me, so here I am. I hate to join especially this way but I really didn't know where to go. So here goes. I am engaged, and a stay at home mom. I do the usual things that a stay at home mom does.  I take care of everything in the house. I am constantly busy which I'm sure you all can relate to (which is a reason I thought this site would be good for me). I just really feel like I am missing something. I can't put my finger on it. It's not religion so thanks ladies who were going to put that. When I was younger the family life was never in my future.  I never knew it growing up, and I never planned on having it in my future.  I wanted a fast life and to see everything. I had gotten pregnant young (18). I stepped up to the plate and did what a mother should do. I do not regret that one bit.  Having my son was the best thing in my life. A few years later I had my daughter, and last year I had my son. I feel like I have no idea who I am, and I don't know where to begin in figuring that out. I try to explain that to my fiance but he doesn't get it. When I explain it to him about how I feel like I'm missing something and I have mentioned that I think it's because I'm busy taking care of everyone else, I get a comparison of how difficult things are for him. Like he stops listening and focuses on one thing I say and goes from there.  And I give him full credit for going out and working, but it seems on his days off he's able to walk out the door and do what he wants.  And when I say that it's not as bad as it sounds. It's more his days off are his days off.  He does not put it that way. But me on the other hand I have to answer to everybody to make sure its okay. I guess I'm kind of jealous of the fact that he has days off while I feel chained to this house. Idk. It's not that I don't love him or the kids because I do, but I just feel lost and trapped if that makes any sense at all. If you need more clarification don't hesitate. I'm kind of just rambling.  And so sorry I am joining like this, I'm not typically a whiner, lol. Thanks in advance for anyone taking the time to read this. Oh and I am not depressed.

Makes perfect sense!  We all have felt this way and some of us still fell like that.  Say that to him.... the " his days off/chained to home " .  I think Reba McIntire's song said it best!  

" Is there Life Out There?"  Every wifes sentiment/mothers. 

goddess99
by Michelle on May. 9, 2012 at 7:41 PM

Welcome to the group. You are not alone in feeling this way. Try to go out during the day when the kids are in school. Pack up your son and go out to lunch, go get your hair done, go shopping. You're a mom, you're not dead lol go do something. Volunteer at the school. I never really stopped doing things just because I had my dd.

krissie28
by on May. 9, 2012 at 7:50 PM

Thanks for taking the time to read my post swmmra. We haven't actually switched roles for a day, but he has had the kids for a few hours from time to time while I run errands and he tells me he doesn't know how I do it.  And the kids aren't even bad, lol. But can be overwhelming, lol.  But I do like the idea of switching it up.  I do feel this necessary to add, my other two children are not his. And I really give him a lot of credit for stepping up to the plate. We were together years ago when we were in our early teens, and I moved away and such I moved back years later.  And one night a friend of mine begged me to go out with her and I wasn't really feeling the idea but she bugged me so much I decided to go. And he just moved back from where he lived previously and decided to go out too odd thing is we ended up at the same bar. I never told him how I really felt, for some reason I always felt a tie to him. And no I'm not the sappy hearts and flowers kind of girl. I hold my feelings in and whatever but anyway that night I told him, and we have been together ever since. Well he didn't have the best career (which I did not care about) but he was heading down the wrong path he said. And once we got together he changed his life, not because I asked but because he wanted to. So I am very appreciative of the lifestyle he has given us. (I thought a little history was necessary, sorry for the extra reading if it wasn't) Anyway, our youngest is his first child. And he does amazing with him.  When he was little he was nervous about doing things on his own so I wasn't able to do anything, lol. Which I understood and didn't judge him. Yes it was trying at times, but I got it. And his work schedule is 4 days on 4 days off and when he works he works 12 hours. But I was explaining it to him months ago that it would be nice if I could just get a day to sleep in. And he has honored that ever since. But it almost doesn't seem to be enough to where I feel like one day a month would be nice to just do me.  And now that I have written all of that I feel extremely selfish because I've been down that road which I'm sure a lot of mothers/fathers don't even get that much. I will run the role switch by him and go from there.  Regardless of what happens with it. I do believe that every parent needs a break to regroup. I do appreciate your time reading my post.  Thanks so much. I think me breaking it down to you helped me out.

krissie28
by on May. 9, 2012 at 7:54 PM

We're down to one car currently.  But I will def give that a try when the time comes.  Usually, when he has days off I'm playing catch up and running errands. Def sounds helpful, thanks for taking the time read and respond to my post goddess99.

krissie28
by on May. 9, 2012 at 7:59 PM

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my post chellenout. I haven't heard of the song before, well at least not to my knowledge but I wil check it out. It's good to know that others feel this way because I feel selfish and almost like an outcast. Like this is my life and my children and home are my responsibilities, and I shouldn't feel this way. Thanks again.


Is there a way to respond to somebody so that it shows up after there post? Like when I responded to yours, it didn't go under your reply it went in order of the posts.

Pammi86
by Pamela on May. 10, 2012 at 12:11 AM
Welcome! Time for yourself is a must!
MommyOfone7
by on May. 10, 2012 at 9:23 AM

Hi I'm Lyn 26 Stay at home mom and i only have 1 dd Raylyn 7 ,I also had my dd when i was 19 and Its a long story but to sum it up i never had any kind of normal family to this day so last year almost a yr ago i met Wayne and he is NUTHING like anyone Ive ever been around growing up he is smart,good job,nerdy,sweet  ect ect , so now i have this new life Family an Pets but NO friends and i talk on here a lot but i am new too :) I'm here i feel the same way you do !!

Janet
by Ruby Member on May. 10, 2012 at 9:57 AM

 Welcome, I hope you get some time away. I know it helps me.

krissie28
by on May. 10, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Thanks everyone for the replies. I'm def going to try to get some time to myself. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN