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a single mom needing alot of advice

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Question: do i continue in my relationship an be happy or listen to my family an leave?




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Total Votes: 35

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i have so many thing to ask... so many things i don't know.... i have a 1 yr old son, his father left when i was4 months pregnant. he was a very verballyabusive man. he has never seen or even knows my sons birthday. i meet a man when my son was 2 months old. my boy friend is 39 yrs old. An the people around me think that its wrong were together, but he loves me an he adores my son as if his own. my boyfriend has a kid to. 

by on May. 13, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on May. 14, 2012 at 3:19 AM

I think you should stay good, faithful people who accept us for everything we are godd, bad and otherwise are hard to come by. You cannot live your life by what everyone else wants for you, you have to follow your heart and your old enough to know what you need and what your lil fam needs and wants. You are an adult and the only way, THE only way to get 'em off your back is to stand up, girl. Lets face it you know, you truly know in your heart what you want and need, just go with it, just let everything go and let love live. You are worthy and deserve to have someone who loves you unconditionally. I hope everything works out how you want it to and just remember from one "young" mother( i'm 24 witha 5 yr old) to another age really isnt the issue but people will say it is because they cant sit well with your choice for whatever reason. I have been with my sons father for 8 1/2 years and there is a 6 year difference between us, but we fit together, he is my bestest friend and at the end of the day he's there for me and supports everything I do and every decision I make. If you have that keep it and hold on real tight and tell everyone else "LOOK this is how I feel, this is what I wanna do with my life, my relationship, end of convo" but keep in mind that sometimes people like our family say things because they want us to be happy and they love us and worry but you gotta tell them that you are all those things, and thank you for their concerns and their opinons are valued but you got this.. You love him and he loves you, and you can only live life day by day and do just that LIVE. everyone else who matters and truly cares will follow and support you. Sorry this is LONG HA HA HA, good luck to ya and may hope and happiness be with you and your fam.


by on May. 14, 2012 at 3:37 AM
I'd have the "do you want more children?" talk before making a solid decision. You have two at 21 and he has one....and if that's all he wants, then you need to be sure you are content with that. At 21, you can't honestly say you know that you know that you are "done". At 37, he can easily say he knows he doesn't want to pushing sixty something at his childs No slip ups at all.
by on May. 14, 2012 at 5:58 AM
Ok, for me age is just a number, my xhusband is 38 I'm 31, this babies father is 46 (he lied about his age but when I found out the truth I stayed). All I can say is give it time, figure out what you want and go with it, its your life. But also keep in mind an age gap like that will have affects on the relationship, you don't see it now but it will, in ten years you'll still be young wanting to go out have fun, he won't be on the same level as you, the subject of kids is a big one, you may feel ok with one now, but who knows how you will feel in a few years... I'm in no way telling you to leave, I'm just telling you from experiance age doesn't matter but with time it does have its affects on life and relationships. I'm not with the father of this baby anymore one reason was the age.. but it wasn't at all the main reason. Gl mama
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by Ruby Member on May. 14, 2012 at 10:41 AM


Quoting Kaylawv2:

Do what makes you happy. Your family will come around eventually. They need to accept that you are an adult and can make your own decisions!


by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:45 AM
If your grown&happy? Stay!!
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by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:47 AM

by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:52 AM
Is there any reason besides age that makes your family dislike him?

I'd stay if there isn't. Good men are hard to come by. It's your life. You don't want to live with the regret of "what if" if you do break it off because of your mom. Unless you or him want to end it no one else's opinion matters.
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by on May. 14, 2012 at 11:00 AM

Quoting sunshynee:

an yes i am a single mom bc me an my bf dont live together. we have no plans to move in together for at lease 2-3 yrs. i only get to see him 3 days a week< bc of his job an he has a kid of his own so were trying to make things work to see each other when we can

Ok I have to say idk if you fall into single mom or not. Im a single mom cause its me and my kids no boyfried however...I dont see what everyones problem is if you dont plan to live together or anythng and see each other 3 times a week. I think that has to be harder on your children and that may be where they are really coming from. My kids would not be callng somone daddy if I didnt see us being together (living together and all)

Now for the age purpose....My kids SD is WAY older then me. Everyone hated that i ever got with him. But its your choice and just tell them that if they cant be nice and keep  it to themselfs then they can just not talk to you until they can.

You should probably post in the single moms group though. You will get a bigger and more knowledgable group of women

by on May. 14, 2012 at 11:03 AM

 If he';s a good man, who are cares what anyone else says? I am guessing there's a big age gap and that's why they don't like him? Just keep your head up and if he's good to you and your son..stay with him. You deserve to be happy:)

by on May. 14, 2012 at 12:12 PM

 i say stay as long as your happy thats all that matters sometimes women can't date men their own age cause they are immature jackasses especially at ur age and if you have a baby thats even more of a reason there are certain things you should talk about with an age diff like that ie do one or both of you want more children is he just doin this so he can say o my gf is 21 blah blah blah but if hes serious and he makes you and ur baby happy then don't let anyone tell you what to do its ur life i will tell you what my grandma has always told me follow your heart

<3 Tanksgirl <3

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