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My husband does not want anymore kids. What should I do?

Posted by on May. 15, 2012 at 2:33 PM
  • 30 Replies

I have a 6 month old son right now and would love to have another one by the time he's 2 years old. The problem is my husband does not. He is quite a bit older than I am and is afraid his health will decline as he gets older and will not be able to provide for us. I thought if they were close enough in age it would be ok. It took him a few months to get over being afraid of getting me pregnant after giving birth to even sleep with me. He has also mentioned that if I accidentally got pregnant, scince I'm on birth control, he would want me to have an abortion. I believe his concern comes from the complications I had with my first pregnancy but I want another child and feel like there is no convencing him. What should I do?

by on May. 15, 2012 at 2:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on May. 15, 2012 at 2:59 PM
1 mom liked this

If it was me... If I loved him enough and didn't want my marriage to end I would accept his wishes. If you go against his wishes it might cause problems in your marriage.

beffershh
by on May. 15, 2012 at 3:22 PM

I guess in a way I hoped he wasn't serious and if I got pregnant again after the initial shock he would be happy to have another one, but your right I would hate to have to decide between my husband and an unborn child.

diapercakemom84
by on May. 15, 2012 at 3:25 PM

if he REALLY doesnt want another child and you try to explain how badly you want another one and he still says no, then accept it. only other thing you can do is leave, but i dont advise that.

thecoffeefairy
by on May. 15, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Accept his decision or leave. Take a good hard look at your life and decide what's important to you. Just don't be deceitful. It's not fair to anyone.
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lilydoyle
by on May. 15, 2012 at 3:37 PM

 I agree with ap^

mik1of3
by on May. 15, 2012 at 3:52 PM

For you to have another baby against your husband's wishes would be a selfish act on your part.  Selfish because you're saying to hell with your husband, that his wants/needs don't mean anything when it comes to something YOU want, and selfish because a baby should be wanted by BOTH parents, not just one.

 

 

Aleta775
by on May. 15, 2012 at 4:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry, but I agree with the other posts. If you dh is really set against having another child then there is nothing you can do. He has some legitimate reasons for only wanting one child. If he is a good man, then I would stay and be happy with the family of three that I had. I'm not sure I would want to end my marriage over something like this.

Maevelyn
by on May. 15, 2012 at 5:34 PM

If he can't be convinced then you just have to accept it. It's obviously important to him that you both have your health and that he provides well for you. 

blondie805
by on May. 15, 2012 at 5:53 PM

Sit down without any distractions. Talk. Tell him your side and let him explain his side and really listen to him. If you can understand why he feels that way, then, there is your answer. If you can't, then, explain why you can't. My dh is older and in fact, he's in his 50's. We have a 21 yo son; 18yo dd; 15yo dd; and a 17mnth old gs. His health isn't great. But, we are willing to work together. If you are willing to step up and work when he's not able, then, he has no arguement. Counseling is the next thing I could recommend if that doesn't work.

hoping4girl33
by on May. 15, 2012 at 6:22 PM
I would respect his wishes as hard as it might be. Try to enjoy the family that you.two have love your son with all your heart, who know maybe in the future he might change his mind but for now leave the issues along you do not want to cause problems in your marriage.
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