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Poll

Question: is merging a family together a good idea with our children we had separate so far apart?

Options:

yes, its a good idea

no, to much damage to be caused

maybe, , in 5 years


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 19

View Results

me an my boy friend have been talking here an there about having a child together kinda just throwing the idea out there an seeing how each other feels about it... im 22 an my bf 39 i have a 1 yr old son an he has a 14 yr old....  is merging a family together a good idea with our child we had seperate so far apart??? how does this generally effect children in their teens?

by on May. 20, 2012 at 6:29 PM
Replies (11-20):
jltplk25
by Gold Member on May. 21, 2012 at 12:53 PM

 are you asking about blending what you already have as a family or adding to the mix?

splatz
by Sarah on May. 21, 2012 at 3:47 PM
Why don't you just talk yo his son and see how he feels about it?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
la_bella_vita
by Silver Member on May. 21, 2012 at 7:38 PM

 I'm not sure. Bump!

Pammi86
by Pamela on May. 21, 2012 at 9:54 PM
Quoting goddess99:

I really don't know, I would introduce them for sure and see how it goes.


I think this is a good idea! : )
pristine729
by on May. 21, 2012 at 9:55 PM
It's an adjustment for everyone, blended families or not.
I would say wait until you're married.


Quoting sunshynee:

o no our kids know each other... i am just unsure if having another baby with my boyfriend is the right idea... i want a another baby i am only 22 i would like to have just one more an he says he wants another... but idk how it will be when it come to the kids... mostly his son cuz hes alot older then mine....

Quoting goddess99:

I really don't know, I would introduce them for sure and see how it goes.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lovnmy3boys
by on May. 21, 2012 at 10:57 PM

How long have you known him? He's almost 40 years old, and talking about having a baby with you? What about marriage? 

I'd be extremely cautious if I were you. The age span between you two alone, is huge. I'm not saying it would be impossible, I'm just saying you guys are from different generations practically. 

At your age, I wouldn't be in any rush for another baby :-) enjoy the one you have for a while! Make sure this is the guy you want for life first...

ms62
by on May. 22, 2012 at 10:05 AM
If you and your BF feel strongly about each other it will be a good idea to start a family together. But you have to tread cautiously. Do your children know about your feelings. His son is old enough but our son is young. How do they feel abt each other? It matters vry much in a relation.


silverygal
by on May. 22, 2012 at 10:39 AM

If you are not too sure, please wait.  You are only 22 and have plenty of time to have another baby.  Why not see how this relationship goes. You owe it to the baby to be sure there is a father in his life.

Lindalou907
by on May. 22, 2012 at 11:35 AM
1 mom liked this

I think your age difference is a big red flag,what the heck is he doing with someone so young? I would wait a long time before I had any babies with him,and certainly it would be better to be married.

mattiemc
by on May. 22, 2012 at 12:16 PM

 

Quoting Janet:

 Can he afford another child? Does he want to marry you? These are the most important things to think about.

 And how long have you been in this relationship?  That's huge age difference  and seeing how you have a 1 year old son - I'm guessing this is a fairly "new" relationship.  You might try merging with what you have and see if you can make it work with what you've got before adding another.  You have plenty of time being 22 to wait on another baby.

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