Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

My Grandson's always hitting!!!

Posted by on May. 25, 2012 at 7:47 AM
  • 12 Replies

I have worked very hard at trying to discipline my 18month old gs. His mom has been at school until now and that has left the majority of the raising of him to me. When he began biting, we put him on the naughty spot. When he began hitting himself, we put him on the naughty spot. But, as of lately, he has begun pulling hair and hitting us so hard. Yesterday in a span of 30 mins he spent most of that time on the naughty spot. I have tried to redirect his attention with games, books, toys and walking or playing outside. But, he still hits! I have a 2inch scratch down the side of my left eye where he hit me so hard that his nails broke the skin. I have similar marks on my cheek and lower lip. His mother has the same problem. Yesterday, I lost it. He punched me in my eye and I grabbed his hand and popped it. I cannot believe that I hit my gs!! I put him down and walked away praying and crying. I have never hit him.  His hand was red for about 20 minutes but, those were the longest 20 mins I had ever spent. His mom is going to find a job this summer and I am going to start working late nights so that I can still watch him during the day. If you haven't figured it out. My dd is still in high school. She will be finished with school in December of this year and going off to college. But, in the meantime, I have my other dd  who is going bald because he pulls her hair so much. I am getting scars instead of crows feet and his mom is getting puffy eyes from crying and not knowing what to do. None of my kids ever had this problem so, I am at a loss. HELP!!!

by on May. 25, 2012 at 7:47 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Pammi86
by Pamela on May. 25, 2012 at 8:37 AM
My dd hits also and is one. The pedi keeps telling us time outs but it doesn't work!
sophiesister2
by New Member on May. 25, 2012 at 8:52 AM
My dd is 4months so heres a bump
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
suetoo
by Bronze Member on May. 25, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Get some professional advice. Children this age are like sponges, soaking up behavior cues. Your gs is learning bad behavior and this needs a united family effort. It's time your dd steps up to being more of a mommy. If you are watching him most of the time, you are mothering him most of the time. His toddlerhood can't be put on hold while his mother gets her act together.
blondie805
by on May. 25, 2012 at 9:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Ok. Sorry but a little of that was offensive. We have spoken to a professional. We are doing what she has told us to do. My dd is in high school and is learning. You didn't get a set of instructions with your child did you? Mine neither. His behavior is an easy behavior. Anger and physical actions are easy. Babies have screamed and cried in frustration and anger just as much as toddlers and adults do. Angry behavior is one that has to be taught to control not the other way around. His "toddlerhood" is not on hold. He is in a joyful home with a family who not only loves him, but, helps him grow. My dd has made some mistakes and that ex of hers was the biggest. But, she is a loving mother who is learning and growing with my gs. It's offenses like the one you made toward my dd about stepping up that make me regret asking for advice. I thought I asked how to help my gs not how to make my dd be a mom. I needed support not insults.

Quoting suetoo:

Get some professional advice. Children this age are like sponges, soaking up behavior cues. Your gs is learning bad behavior and this needs a united family effort. It's time your dd steps up to being more of a mommy. If you are watching him most of the time, you are mothering him most of the time. His toddlerhood can't be put on hold while his mother gets her act together.


goddess99
by Michelle on May. 25, 2012 at 9:38 AM

I went through this. I tried what you did as well, take away a toy, timeouts, etc.. and they didn't work so I just told my dd that if you hit mama again I will hit you back. I would never haul off and whack but I gave a pop so she knew I wasn't lying. And after a while that game wasn't so much fun anymore lol.

suetoo
by Bronze Member on May. 25, 2012 at 10:37 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry I offended you. I couldn't tell from your post that you had sought professional advice. And you yourself said the majority of raising him has been left to you. Something in your mother/ daughter/gs relationship isn't working if your gs is confused at all about who is the mom, or if his hitting himself is a pattern of attention seeking behavior. One smack back by an at the end of the rope mom or gm is excused. But hitting back as discipline is never acceptable nor part of a good outcome. I stand by my advice and criticism. I watched my brother start out in much the same way your gs is. Only his rage and hitting grew more out of control as he got older. I don't want that to happen to your gs. The early toddlerhood is tough on a good day. Is your grandson sleeping well and napping long enough? I hope you forgive my 'tude. Do you have an out of the way corner you could put an exercise mat to use as a safe "time out" spot? And perhaps find something soft he can use to hit when he gets angry in a non confrontational with anyone way? And where his caregiver ignores his bad behavior completely, until he calms down? No one can reason with a toddler having a meltdown, (as we say in our family). I know that your dd's schooling is important, but may I say, respectfully, that her son's current needs, deserve perhaps, more of her tine, for now.
Hugs, sue
delanna6two
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2012 at 11:02 AM

Hope you find something that helps....

Janet
by Ruby Member on May. 25, 2012 at 11:13 AM
1 mom liked this

 18 months starts the terrible two's generally. BUT, they are not usually this bad. They can be though. I would take him to another doctor maybe even  an neurologist.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on May. 25, 2012 at 11:18 AM

Hope you find something that can help you and daughter deal with this. Good Luck!!!

hugs

blondie805
by on May. 25, 2012 at 2:48 PM

As far as the offense, thank you. I get very touchy when it comes down to my dd. She has been through a lot and to hear that people don't try to see her for what she is doing and trying to do, gets a little old. Yes, the majority of the raising is left up to me as if it would be in a daycare situation. When she is home, I let her have him. I am done for my shift. But, I take the time everyday to teach him sign language, read to him. He may not talk verbally, but, much of simple words like "cat", "dog", "milk" and even a few other words in sign. I am a lot like a daycare at home. My dd is learning. We bought a red chair cushion for the corner of our great room. It is bright red and it's the only place that we allow him to sit when he's bad. He's on his naughty spot. As far as his naps, for the most part they are on schedule. Everyday, there is usually a 1-2hour nap before lunch. Potty training is coming soon. A lot of the times that he hits is not in anger. He is hitting because it is fun. He smiles and laughs at times when he is hitting, scratching of pulling someones hair. I have mixed beliefs on spanking but, for the most part, the issue will not be addressed until he is much older. Right now, he is a toddler not a defiant, disobedient child. He is not an angry, hateful little child. He has tantrums just like all children do at times. They are usually controlled by a simple "that's enough now stop this. I love you but, you are going to stop this." He minds me and he minds his mom. Just today, he went into the store with us and held his mommy's hand and behaved. It's a start. The hitting is frustrating. I am never condoning hitting to stop hitting. We are the adults not the children. As far as dd and her schooling, I will keep watching my gs as long as it takes for her to finish school. She graduates in Dec. and the next fall, she will be heading to Southern Wesleyen University in Central, SC just 40 minutes away and they have a daycare on campus. She is studying to be a youth minister. She will be a great example to her son. I wish his hitting was a simple tantrum. But, it's not. He hits when it's fun to him or when he's frustrated at not getting his way. Thanks for the apology and I am very sorry that I jumped down your throat. It seems I get a little moody and touchy when it comes to my own frustrations. I took them out on you and that wasn't fair.

Quoting suetoo:

I'm so sorry I offended you. I couldn't tell from your post that you had sought professional advice. And you yourself said the majority of raising him has been left to you. Something in your mother/ daughter/gs relationship isn't working if your gs is confused at all about who is the mom, or if his hitting himself is a pattern of attention seeking behavior. One smack back by an at the end of the rope mom or gm is excused. But hitting back as discipline is never acceptable nor part of a good outcome. I stand by my advice and criticism. I watched my brother start out in much the same way your gs is. Only his rage and hitting grew more out of control as he got older. I don't want that to happen to your gs. The early toddlerhood is tough on a good day. Is your grandson sleeping well and napping long enough? I hope you forgive my 'tude. Do you have an out of the way corner you could put an exercise mat to use as a safe "time out" spot? And perhaps find something soft he can use to hit when he gets angry in a non confrontational with anyone way? And where his caregiver ignores his bad behavior completely, until he calms down? No one can reason with a toddler having a meltdown, (as we say in our family). I know that your dd's schooling is important, but may I say, respectfully, that her son's current needs, deserve perhaps, more of her tine, for now.
Hugs, sue


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN