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The Only One

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 3:43 AM
  • 11 Replies

I am a stay at home mother so my life is kind of crazy. I have two small children, a husband who works crazy hours, and I am in school full time working on my Masters. On top of all of that I managed to find some time to do yoga, and volunteer.

I have parents who are getting older, and my father has been really sick lately which is hard on my mom and so now she hasn't been feeling all that great either. I am NOT an only child in fact I am the middle child. However it seems like I am the only one who gives a damn about my parents. I am constantly checking on them to make sure that they are ok and if they need anything. When they do need or want anything they call me. Most times I am tired because of all the stuff I have going on but because they are my parents I do whatever it is they need me to do. There are times when I need to do things that I can not bring my children to, and more often than not its my father who watches them for me. Most days he is so sick that it is hard for him to even get out of the bed.

I have mentioned to my sibs quite a few times that they need to check on our parents more and help them out. Of course I get the answers they think I want to hear but nothing has changed. I just find it frustrating that I am the only who seems to give a damn about my parents and their deteriorating health.

My parents have done and sacrificed a lot for us and I just feel that it is time for us to do and scaifice for them. I know that we all have our own lives with a lot going on but I feel like if I am able to make the time so can they.

by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 3:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
shadow_lark
by Bronze Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 9:42 AM
Im sorry. my mil is having the same issue, and its tough. i hope your siblings decide to start helping before its too late.
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goddess99
by Michelle on Jun. 13, 2012 at 9:51 AM

Does everyone live close to your parents and they still don't do anything? If so I would ream them a new a$$hole. I mean honestly, I would be done being nice and the shit would hit the fan. I would tell them we are all going to help out here and assign jobs. Someone can be incharge of bringing your parents places, someone can be incharge of helping them in home and the other can be in charge of running errands for them. I hope your sibs help out, make their life a living hell if they don't.

Mizzm3
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 10:55 AM
Yeah we all live close to my parents. In fact we all live about 10 - 15 mins away from them. I have cussed, fussed, and raise holy hell and nothing has changed. They will help out for a little bit but then usually go back to their old lazy a@# ways.
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snuggiewoogie
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:24 PM

 Sounds like you are doing the right thing :)

good

goddess99
by Michelle on Jun. 13, 2012 at 3:49 PM

That's too bad =( I wonder what their problem is..? I mean everyone is busy, everyone has things they need or want to do but you make time for family. They just don't get it. Sad.

Quoting Mizzm3:

Yeah we all live close to my parents. In fact we all live about 10 - 15 mins away from them. I have cussed, fussed, and raise holy hell and nothing has changed. They will help out for a little bit but then usually go back to their old lazy a@# ways.


splatz
by Sarah on Jun. 13, 2012 at 3:56 PM
Im sorry. People can be so self centered.
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SlapItHigh
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:31 PM

That's too bad.  I would definitel confront them on why they aren't doing it and why they say they will but never follow through.

dani0007
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:51 PM

Tell everyone to pick a day or 2 and thats there day to call or stop by to get those days off your plate, but also if they cant take care of themselves maybe assisted living is better. Dont patronize them ... you siblings probably feel that they can do it themselves...

 

erikadi
by Member on Jun. 14, 2012 at 7:30 PM

You are right. They do need to step up. In the mean time hopefully you can get a caregiver for your parents that you can trust. It will give you some respite and hopefully you can get your siblings to be more on board. Tell them exactly how you need them to help sometimes there are people who need that.

Mizzm3
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 1:17 PM
My husband and I have started looking for PCA's to help. It just makes me mad because I don't feel like I should have to do it all or find a PCA since there are 7 of us children. The good thing is that that my parents arent so bad that they cant take care of themselves they just need some help doing certain things. Because they have done so much me as long as I am able I will do everything I can for them. Just sucks that my sibs are so selfish.


Quoting erikadi:

You are right. They do need to step up. In the mean time hopefully you can get a caregiver for your parents that you can trust. It will give you some respite and hopefully you can get your siblings to be more on board. Tell them exactly how you need them to help sometimes there are people who need that.


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