I have these three friends that I've been friends with forever. Seriously, one of them for like 24 yrs, one for like 20 years and one for around 18 years. We're all the same age, 32 and we all live in the same town. Basically, I've been friends with them for over half my life. Anyways. I'm married (I've been with DH since I was 16), have 3 kids, one on the way (as we just learned Sunday...lol). Two of them are in long-term relationships (both under 5 years), one is single. None of them have their own kids. One is the legal guardian of her 10 y/o niece (has been for 4 years), one has three "step-sons" (aged from 17 to 26). The three of them hang out all the time.
So, needless to say (even after I've already said it), our paths went in very different directions. I tried to keep up with them after my oldest was born, but while I still had fun going out, I wasn't out all of the time anymore, meaning I didn't feel like I was "in" anymore. Well, the more children I've had, the more heads I've grown apparently. I rarely, if ever, hear from any of them anymore. I literally speak to them once, maybe twice a year. None of them come around for anything we do (birthday parties for any of us, events in my kids' lives, etc). They are notorious for ignoring invitations or promising they'll show and never following through.
When my DS was born almost a year ago, I didn't send any of them notifications of his birth. And I was the asshole for doing it. I got chewed out by all three of them. I hadn't seen any of them throughout my whole pregnancy, they skipped my diaper shower (none of them even RSVP'd "no" for it, they just ignored it), I felt they didn't want to know about his birth.
DH threw me a little bbq/fire party for my birthday last month. He invited all three of them. All three said they'd try to come. Two of them did come, one stayed for an hour, one came super late and stayed until she was out of beer. Know why they came?? Wasn't for me! It was because DH's parents were in town. They all wanted to see them, not me.
So I just write them off, just like they've written me off, right? Easy solution, right? Wrong. It's not. Because the second I stop inviting them to everything is the second they all gang up on me and call me a horrible person because I don't keep them in the loop of my life. I get called selfish and ridiculous and immature because I'm the one "throwing away" such long friendships. WTF?!?!?!
So what do I do??? Sorry this got a little long. And thanks if you stuck it out and read it all. :)