Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

Choices... *vent* (LONG) *EDIT*

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 5:46 PM
  • 28 Replies

*back story* 

In sept. of 2011, I found out I was pregnant .. I told my bf at the time and we decided it would be best to get married . :) NO biggie . But instead of the white wedding I had always dreamed up, decorating, the white dress, tux, bridesmaids, flowers all that jazz, I got married in black slacks and a green shirt . (tho it was a church) I called our pastor that morning and asked if he cared to marry us . he said before, right after i found out i was pregnant that he would, after a pre-marriage session. (which we attended) . So i guess i can't say I wasnt married in a church, but I still didnt get my big white wedding because I was told that since I was already pregnant I couldnt have it . 

That because I had already lost my virginity I couldnt disgrace my family with a ceremony or traditional wedding .no I had to elope . Though I was allotted a reception almost 2 months after the wedding . which was nice, dont get me wrong, we had a potluck dinner and cake .. with all the family ..

Today : 

My lil man is 3 months old..I love my husband, I love my son .. Im happy married, and don't regret getting married, but I just feel that I was cheated out of a wedding, the wedding I would have liked..The wedding pictures, the wedding ceremony ..the decorating .. Everything.. that's everything I wanted ..

Am I the only one that feels like this ? Am I the only one that feels this way?  I mean would it have been wrong to have a traditional wedding ceremony? I know I see all the time, (even a friend of mine) got married just bout a month or so before giving birth to her son. lil white wedding dress, small ceremony with family .. all that fun stuff that I wanted but didnt get .. 

I guess in a way im jealous ..but i just feel like i was cheated because my mom felt embarrassed of me. ;( 

EDIT :  Okay .. sO here is another thing to ponder .. we had 2 witnesses at the ceremony..(a "maid" of honor and "best" man) so to say .. Neither one do we talk to now. :/ (dh or i) so um. what should we do about that ? i mean . conflicting photos ? because we have some from our wedding day .. 

by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 5:46 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Kyka
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 6:44 PM
You deserve to have your moment, no one is perfect.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
goddess99
by Michelle on Jul. 17, 2012 at 6:52 PM

You should still do it. If your mom doesn't like it she doesn't need to be invited. Omg hun I feel bad for you. I never would have let anyone dictate what I do.

jessicalvarez
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 7:31 PM

Hey there. well i can see where ur coming from with these feelings. I mean most women would love to have picture perfect wedding, however it might not always happen that way. First you have to remember atleast you guys are married n happy. of course we all disapoint our parents, doesnt mean she doesn love you. maybe she felt like u did. maybe she invisionsed u her daughter getting married than having kids, etc. Most parents want that for there kids, they want that bc (well atleast my mom) didn't get to live the child hood she wanted. My mom was a young barely a teen mom who didnt get an education. So sometimes,usually, our parents want better for us. not to say having a baby is a bad thing. 

now about having ur dream wedding:) look at it this way, u guys still have anniversaries that are coming up so maybe you guys can save and have that beautiful wedding u have dreamed of. N when u guys celebrate don't let others influence u in a negitive way. IT WILL BE UR WEDDING:) HOPE u feel better about the whole thing. 

IansMommy2012
by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 9:29 PM

you dont know my mother. :( lol believe me, if she doesnt get to see her grandson everyday she freaks. lol . let alone get invited our wedding .. 

Quoting goddess99:

You should still do it. If your mom doesn't like it she doesn't need to be invited. Omg hun I feel bad for you. I never would have let anyone dictate what I do.


Pammi86
by Pamela on Jul. 17, 2012 at 9:32 PM

I would have a small wedding! Why not!

splatz
by Sarah on Jul. 18, 2012 at 1:10 AM
1 mom liked this
You can always have your dream wedding down the road. Do it for your 5 or 10 year anniversary maybe? That seems like a pretty popular thing to do now.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Janet
by Ruby Member on Jul. 18, 2012 at 1:16 AM

 I agree!

Quoting splatz:

You can always have your dream wedding down the road. Do it for your 5 or 10 year anniversary maybe? That seems like a pretty popular thing to do now.

 

Superlaura328
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 4:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I feel your pain :( The hubs and I aren't religious, so we don't affiliate with any church, but I did want to have a beautiful wedding on the beach. For financial reasons, we had a civil ceremony at the courthouse instead. My parents weren't even there.

We weren't "cheated" out of a wedding, we just couldn't afford it, but I feel like you do... I wish I had the dress and the cake and the guests and all of that.

We are thinking of doing a renewal of vows in a few years, maybe for our 10th anniversary. Maybe you could do something like that? I think that would make up for it a bit. 

OliviasMommy611
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 4:28 PM
Idk weddings aren't a big deal to me. You're married now.. That's the beat part.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GaleJ
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 10:55 PM
1 mom liked this

You are an adult and you may have whatever kind of celebration that you and your husband wish to have including a white wedding, or for that matter any other color, you may choose. Include any preparations and guests that will make you happy, it's your party! Congratulations and have fun.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN