Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

I need some advice on how to tell my mom this......really long sorry

Posted by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 2:35 PM
  • 25 Replies

Alright mommas!

  I am in serious need of some advice. I am about to loose my MIND! So back in 2004 (yeah exactly) my mom left my dad for someone else. Well she quickly learned that the grass isnt always greener on the other side!! Since then she has been with 2 diff. guys , last one ending horrible about 2 years ago and since then she has been living out of her van. She cleans houses for a living and refuses to get an apartment bc she doesnt want to live by herself or she doesnt want to live in a certain area. So she will stay at my sisters house here and there, my house here and there, and 2 of her friends house here and there. My sister and I are absolulelty going nuts :( we can not stand her. She is soo rude and everything is ALWAYS about her. she will come and complain to my neighbors about me . My husband is in the process of finishing out basement (we live in a small townhome) bc i am due with my second child in 2 weeks(eek and she keeps bringing all her shit from her storage and putting it in our basement. We dont have room and she thinks she can just take over. When she comes here , she doesnt come till 9-930 which is our bedtime here and then she is downstairs cooking which then makes my house smell bc like i said it is a small town home. then she is also downstairs banging the pots and pans and going in and out of the house with the door slamming. My dog is obsessed with her bc she always brings him  a treat or toy(not my child, BUT THE STUPID DOG) so when she is here he doesnt listen, not too mention, i cant even tell him to SIT without her yelling at me or talking over me to him, she thinks she owns him, i cant even take him in a diff. room without him crying and growling at us bc she lets him do whatever he wants. I am going insane just typing all this. Then in the mornings when she leaves, i tell her she has to bring him upstairs or he will sit downstairs n just bark. n she doesnt. SHe is SOOOO rude and dissrespectful, i cant stand it. My husband is very VERY LAID back and nothing ever bothers him but everytime she comes over he gets in a mood and will go lock him self in his office. I was always a mommmys girl and for the past couple years i cant stand her. I am get anxiety just knowing she is coming over . I am starting to really not like her and i dont want to get to the point where i flip out on her and we dont talk for years(she also knows she is pshycho but keeps making up excuses y not to get help instead she will talk about her problems with my 7 YEAR OLD AND MY 2 NIECES WHO ARE 10 AND 5)  With the baby coming in 2 weeks, i want to tell her she cant stay her no more. I dont want her stressing the baby out and making everyone MORE miserable. This is going to be very hard bc she takes EVERYTHING the wrong way and i am dreading it, but she needs to start acting like a mom and caring about other pple . You cant even say anything without her changing it to be about her. like her life is soo horrible. She is the one that chose this road! UGH~ I could go on and on about how ridicilious she is!! sorry for how long this is but i need some help on how to tell her to get with it!!

Thank you

by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 2:35 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
minnesotamommie
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 2:44 PM
3 moms liked this
Sometimes it's like ripping off a bandaid, it may hurt but you have to think of your family first, and if she does cut you off for a while it might not be the worst thing right now
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
splatz
by Sarah on Jul. 18, 2012 at 2:58 PM

Good advice!

Quoting minnesotamommie:

Sometimes it's like ripping off a bandaid, it may hurt but you have to think of your family first, and if she does cut you off for a while it might not be the worst thing right now


Sarah: Mommy to 2 little monsters. ♥ Mom to Mom Group Mod.

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers

goddess99
by Michelle on Jul. 18, 2012 at 3:21 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree. Keep it simple and straight forward and stick to your guns. Good luck.

Quoting minnesotamommie:

Sometimes it's like ripping off a bandaid, it may hurt but you have to think of your family first, and if she does cut you off for a while it might not be the worst thing right now


Queen0Hearts
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 3:25 PM

The only way to let her know is to be honest, no matter what the out come. She will not change unless she hits rock bottom, just like a drug user. I hope her rock bottom comes quickly so she can be part of your family again.

PinkButterfly66
by Member on Jul. 18, 2012 at 3:29 PM

This is no different from telling an alcoholic relative that they can't stay with you any longer.  Tell your mom that  you love her but she cannot stay with you any longer until she gets help and respects your wishes and rules.

Tkline818
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 3:44 PM

wow thank you ladies. I appreciate it ! great advice. thank you..xo

OliviasMommy611
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 4:46 PM
Wow tough situation. Boundaries are much needed here.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MarineWife0327
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 4:56 PM

Tell her she's not welcome anymore. She's too set in her ways to change and it will only get worse, especially with a new baby coming into the home. Just try to stay calm and level headed if you talk to her. Easier said than done, I know, but if she's driving you this crazy you need to tell her to back off. You dont need this stress.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Jul. 18, 2012 at 6:13 PM

I agree.

Quoting minnesotamommie:

Sometimes it's like ripping off a bandaid, it may hurt but you have to think of your family first, and if she does cut you off for a while it might not be the worst thing right now


dobrd
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 6:25 PM

Tkline818, I'm not being mean but, you/DH need to tell your mother 'The way it's NOT going to be'.. You need for a short time, to be someone you aren't.. You need to get a backbone asap.. Take the attitude your feeling, & put it where you need to use it, TOWARDS YOUR MOTHER.. If she is this bad, it needed to be stopped long ago.. No more putting it off.. You are allowing this to happen.. You aren't the one to have her care, it's her job.. Do the basics to keep her out of your home, out of your lives until she can prove otherwise.. I've been there.. Take Care, Donna....

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)