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I need some advice on how to tell my mom this......really long sorry

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Alright mommas!

  I am in serious need of some advice. I am about to loose my MIND! So back in 2004 (yeah exactly) my mom left my dad for someone else. Well she quickly learned that the grass isnt always greener on the other side!! Since then she has been with 2 diff. guys , last one ending horrible about 2 years ago and since then she has been living out of her van. She cleans houses for a living and refuses to get an apartment bc she doesnt want to live by herself or she doesnt want to live in a certain area. So she will stay at my sisters house here and there, my house here and there, and 2 of her friends house here and there. My sister and I are absolulelty going nuts :( we can not stand her. She is soo rude and everything is ALWAYS about her. she will come and complain to my neighbors about me . My husband is in the process of finishing out basement (we live in a small townhome) bc i am due with my second child in 2 weeks(eek and she keeps bringing all her shit from her storage and putting it in our basement. We dont have room and she thinks she can just take over. When she comes here , she doesnt come till 9-930 which is our bedtime here and then she is downstairs cooking which then makes my house smell bc like i said it is a small town home. then she is also downstairs banging the pots and pans and going in and out of the house with the door slamming. My dog is obsessed with her bc she always brings him  a treat or toy(not my child, BUT THE STUPID DOG) so when she is here he doesnt listen, not too mention, i cant even tell him to SIT without her yelling at me or talking over me to him, she thinks she owns him, i cant even take him in a diff. room without him crying and growling at us bc she lets him do whatever he wants. I am going insane just typing all this. Then in the mornings when she leaves, i tell her she has to bring him upstairs or he will sit downstairs n just bark. n she doesnt. SHe is SOOOO rude and dissrespectful, i cant stand it. My husband is very VERY LAID back and nothing ever bothers him but everytime she comes over he gets in a mood and will go lock him self in his office. I was always a mommmys girl and for the past couple years i cant stand her. I am get anxiety just knowing she is coming over . I am starting to really not like her and i dont want to get to the point where i flip out on her and we dont talk for years(she also knows she is pshycho but keeps making up excuses y not to get help instead she will talk about her problems with my 7 YEAR OLD AND MY 2 NIECES WHO ARE 10 AND 5)  With the baby coming in 2 weeks, i want to tell her she cant stay her no more. I dont want her stressing the baby out and making everyone MORE miserable. This is going to be very hard bc she takes EVERYTHING the wrong way and i am dreading it, but she needs to start acting like a mom and caring about other pple . You cant even say anything without her changing it to be about her. like her life is soo horrible. She is the one that chose this road! UGH~ I could go on and on about how ridicilious she is!! sorry for how long this is but i need some help on how to tell her to get with it!!

Thank you

by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 2:35 PM
Replies (21-25):
mom2gr8tgirls
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 11:27 PM
Exactly. I had to cut my sister out of my life because she was draining the life out of me. It's been 9 months and my life is so much better now, I'm not constantly stressed anymore. GL!

Quoting minnesotamommie:

Sometimes it's like ripping off a bandaid, it may hurt but you have to think of your family first, and if she does cut you off for a while it might not be the worst thing right now
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Eve-marie
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Forget that she's your mom. It's your house, your family. You're the mom. She is disrupting your family life, She has to go. Explain that she is making you all miserable and you would rather she lived elsewhere. Tell her she is welcome to visit for an hour or two at a convenient time but not at night. She will get in a huff and act all righteously offended, may even cry and remind you she's your MOTHER! At such time let her know you can love someone and still be driven nuts. Then warn your sister because you can be sure mom is gonna turn up there in a bad mood ready to bash you to her, and disrupt HER family even more. If she starts pestering the neighbors they can call the police. Best of luck. Eve
kali_mom
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 10:51 AM
I just had a baby #5 a few weeks ago so it still very fresh in my mind being pregnant. I am NoT being mean but you have got to get her out of your house before the baby Gets here. This new bundle of joy is all you should be focused on right now. Tell your mom how Much you love her and that she is not welcome to sleep over anymore. Be straight forward and Don't cave in. Baby and Hubby need you now and if this is your 1st child you will need to eliminate AnY extra stress in your life. I Wish I still had my mom, even if I had to put her in her place. It will be just fine but don't back down. Your beautiful baby is going to be so happy you let go of the pressure and you will too! Take care ;)
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JJ9776
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 11:54 AM

You have enough to worry about without hving to worry about your mom. I agree with the ther post about the bandaid. I know that it will be hard because she is your mom but sometimes things happen and you just have to hope for the best. Or you can always have an apartment book laying on the table opened up with a few circled when she comes over and when she asks what they are for just say well we were al thinking with the baby coming that we needed the extra room and that you would like to have your own privacy. If that does not work just be blunt with her and say mom you got to go and that's that, you have a choice you can either be civil about this and get your own place or you can stay away from me and my family until you do. Maybe that will shock her into reality.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Jul. 19, 2012 at 9:47 PM

 I agree!

Quoting minnesotamommie:

Sometimes it's like ripping off a bandaid, it may hurt but you have to think of your family first, and if she does cut you off for a while it might not be the worst thing right now

 

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