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Will I be the legal carer of my brothers three young children when he dies??:(

Posted by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 8:03 AM
  • 12 Replies

First of all I am new to this group... but would like some feedback....My name is Gina and I live in austin tx.. but originally from uk.. have lived here for 7 years.

My problem is my brother who is 55 has 6 children... three of them from his first marriage.... The younger three one boy is 9 and twin boys of 8.... Their mum threw my brother out about two and half years ago... on doing so she moved in someone else and fell pregnant straight away... she had another boy around christmas time 2 years ago... Sadly shortly after he was born she got very sick and died when he was about a month old.. At this time my brother was in a new relationship and him and his girlfriend have been taking care of the three boys and were doing great...

Prior to his ex girlfriend kicking him out he was diagnosed with emphazeimia...and more recently with lung cancer and has been given a year to live... Well my problem is he lives in the uk and i live in the states.. Although we are blood brother and sister I was adopted as a baby and only known him the last 22 years..He is not married to his girlfriend of two years... and apparently although he says he loves her doesn't want her too have the children once he has gone... Our parents are both still alive but getting on... dad is 86 mum is 79... They live close to him and do have them at the weekends...

Well the problem is his ex wife and him apparently still have feelings for each other and i'm not sure at this moment wether his ex wife wants the boys but she does want to be with him...

I think my brother is in denial... he wont say who he wants to have the kids... i have told him to put me down as next of kin after his girlfriend...but he has been told that he needs to make a will....I am not aware that he has....

Ok my question is this if he was to die tomorrow who would get legal custody of the kids???

By the way my husband here is in agreement that if we had to take them then we would... he is disabled .. paralyzed from the waist down after a wreck 10 years ago...

by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 8:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
splatz
by Sarah on Jul. 20, 2012 at 8:11 AM
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I have no idea what the laws for that sort of thing would be in the UK. Hope you are able to figure things out!

Also, welcome to the group!
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mom2gr8tgirls
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 8:28 AM
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Quoting splatz:

I have no idea what the laws for that sort of thing would be in the UK. Hope you are able to figure things out!

Also, welcome to the group!


goddess99
by Michelle on Jul. 20, 2012 at 9:43 AM

I'm assuming the only way you would get custody is if you went back and went to court to get custody, if he doesn't write up a will. Then fill out the mountain of immigration paperwork to get the boys to america. But you know about that, we did it 2 years after you. My husband is from the uk.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2012 at 1:19 PM

 I don't know the laws in the UK either. But custody usually goes to the other parent in a case like this. If the other parent is absent or doesn't want custody then he can leave it in his will that he wishes you his sister to have it.

lazyd
by Member on Jul. 20, 2012 at 11:47 PM

I dont know how it works in the UK, BUT here in the states, and i would hope everywhere, next of kin (which is YOU) would be given custody, will or not.  The kids would probably go to foster care until things could be worked out.  In the states, the ex wife nor the girlfriend would be given the younger three kids because they are not blood.  NOW if the ex wife or girlfriend wanted the kids than they would have to go thru the whole adoption process, but in the meantime the boys would be in a foster home.  The same if you were given the boys in a will or even not, if your brother was to die tomorrow.  The boys would be put in a foster home until all paperwork could be processed.  A will does help.  Also a child advocate would probably be assigned until your brother's estate could be finalized.  Say your brother had life insurance or other money.  That would be put in a trust fund for the kids. 

orngblsm
by Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

Your best bet to get a straight answer is to contact either a family law attorney here in the states, or an appropriate solicitor in the UK.  I don't know about the UK but many family law attorneys do free initial consults or may be willing to just give you an idea of your legal options. 

I would imagine, given your parents' ages, that you would be getting the kids.  Maybe your brother doesn't want to face it, but for everyone's peace of mind including the kids, he needs to let everyone know his decision.

DixieFlower
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:03 AM

Actually here in the states you can name someone who is not next of kin to be the guardian of your minor children. Typically if there is a living parent you would need to substantiate  why the living parent wouldn't be a suitable placement for the children. My mom has a guardianship clause in her will due to her being his guardian. I am named as the person to become his guardian and we have the "proof" as to why his mother (my sister) and his father can not be his guardian. He will not have to go to foster care while the paperwork is proccessed.

Quoting lazyd:

I dont know how it works in the UK, BUT here in the states, and i would hope everywhere, next of kin (which is YOU) would be given custody, will or not.  The kids would probably go to foster care until things could be worked out.  In the states, the ex wife nor the girlfriend would be given the younger three kids because they are not blood.  NOW if the ex wife or girlfriend wanted the kids than they would have to go thru the whole adoption process, but in the meantime the boys would be in a foster home.  The same if you were given the boys in a will or even not, if your brother was to die tomorrow.  The boys would be put in a foster home until all paperwork could be processed.  A will does help.  Also a child advocate would probably be assigned until your brother's estate could be finalized.  Say your brother had life insurance or other money.  That would be put in a trust fund for the kids. 


torttia
by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 2:17 PM

as of now no. He needs to get serious and make a will. Maybe he has but did not name you legal guardian and just doesn't want to hurt your feelings? You should try to talk openly with him. GL!

Pammi86
by Pamela on Jul. 21, 2012 at 10:06 PM
I'm not sure, sorry!
delanna6two
by Platinum Member on Jul. 22, 2012 at 2:48 AM

Hope you get things worked out..

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