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SOOO SO SO MAD!!! (at bio dad) moms with shared custody please give me an opinion

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:59 PM
  • 22 Replies

 

oooo soooo mad at biod dad... I have custody through out the school year and we split vacations in 2. he gets her 3 weekends per month.

he is staying with DD and i have to pick her up today, It got complicated due to nanny issues. I DO have someone to tkae care of DD just not her normal nanny, so i asked him if he'd be willling to have her over until friday. He said good thing you called because I need to take her to a wedding on saturday. ( he knoew my DD had a kids B day party tat same day) and I said yes. she could miss the bday party to go to the family wedding. so he sid OK, but you still have to pick her up today...

and then he went on, as to how unfair of me to make movments on the schedule we had agreed on, Calmly Itold him, I was jsut asking if he wanted her those days, but if not then I would GLADLY pick her up.

He said I had to pick her up today, but that he will stiull go and pick her up on saturday so she can go to the wedding.

I said ok, I will pick her up, but then, shes not going to the wedding. because it falls under my scheduled time, and if you're not willing to compromise, then I would be taking her to her Friends bday party WICH SHE AREADY CHOSE A PRESENT FOR. so he's mad, and said I have to go anyway because he will do NO favors for me. but that she WILL be going to the wedding. or else I couldnt pick her up until further noticed.. I am at work, so I ust camly said, Ill go pic her up later and well talk about it...... -_-

Hes mad, cause I messed with the schedule. I wa asking him for a favor. and it means he can be with her 3 more days, and he said no, but he still expects me to let her go on the day I already ahd plans...WELL HES CHANGING THE SCHEDULE RIGHT THERE!!!!! AND i WOULD HANO PROBLEM WITH, IT, BUT HIS ATTITUDE IS UUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH

 oh NO FUCKING WAY:::

VENT OVER.... well kind of.. still pissed. WHAt WOULD YOU LADIES DO??

by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Itzy0ll0tl
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:01 PM

BUMP!

Itzy0ll0tl
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:02 PM

BUMP!

momof3jam
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:05 PM

 Seems like you guys are using DD as a pawn to get back at each other... Sad... IMO...

mommy_2_be_2010
by Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Is there a co? Work it out stop fighting like kids.

My daughters dad and me have a co but when he asks he gets her and when I ask I get her. We set our own times(when he wants to see her during the week) and when he isn't working do reg schedualed weekend visits. During the time he works (every other weekend ) he takes her during the week for a few hours and brings her home on time. The co is a safety net for us he knows to have her home by 11p during the week and 6p on sundays or I will show up at his house(not kidding)to get her.

Our schedual is this way

Fri 12p(pickup)
Sat me
Sunday6p(drop off)
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GardenerArtist
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this

so, he gets upset if you want to change the schedule, but he wants you to change the schedule when he has something going on. Is that right?   A family wedding, I can understand that, so I'd let her go with him to that, with the caveat that if he's not willing in the future, to work with you on any changes you need to make, that this will be the last time.  It needs to be a quid pro quo thing, otherwise, just stick to the schedule like GLUE. It really isn't worth getting upset about in the long run of life.

Kageegirl
by Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:27 PM
You guys sound petty. He asked to have his daughter on Saturday for a wedding. You agreed if he agreed to take your dd for the next 3 days. If he didn't he couldn't have her on Saturday. What kind of parenting is that?
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Itzy0ll0tl
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 2:41 PM

actually its not the first time it ahppens, and I always say yes when he needs these arrangements changed. I have said yes many times, and I was just mad THIS time, cause he asked for something and is not willing to give back.

oh and  I was mad.. when I wrote the post, I dont mind AT aLL picking up DD I just thought he would like the extra time with her. its his atitude that pisses me off.

 

Quoting Kageegirl:

You guys sound petty. He asked to have his daughter on Saturday for a wedding. You agreed if he agreed to take your dd for the next 3 days. If he didn't he couldn't have her on Saturday. What kind of parenting is that?


la_bella_vita
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:09 PM

 Bump!

Itzy0ll0tl
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:19 PM

thats exactly why Im mad, I have on many ocasions, said its ok, he coul change the schedule, for his vacations he took with his wife and baby, for some weekends, just becasuse I know my DD loves him. and I respect her feelings, and him. . so all of thoe other times, I thought were going to be enough for him to be opened minded this time..... but If I call and asked him, then Its not Ok, had I not called, he would have asked me for the day anyways. I know weddings are big, but he just closed all doors of my help, with his nasty attitude. Im just done. this time she will not be able to attend.

I wish something really bad happened to him :O I had never wished that on anyone.
 thank you, you were one of the 2 nice responses I got :)

Quoting GardenerArtist:

so, he gets upset if you want to change the schedule, but he wants you to change the schedule when he has something going on. Is that right?   A family wedding, I can understand that, so I'd let her go with him to that, with the caveat that if he's not willing in the future, to work with you on any changes you need to make, that this will be the last time.  It needs to be a quid pro quo thing, otherwise, just stick to the schedule like GLUE. It really isn't worth getting upset about in the long run of life.


GardenerArtist
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 3:29 PM
1 mom liked this

My ex-husband was always like that, expected me to make accomodations for him, but never when I asked him.  I finally just gave up asking him, and made other arrangements.  with people like that--No good deed goes unpunished.  It isn't fair, but people like that will never be fair to you, so make plans accordingly, and avoid getting ticked off.  It isn't worth it, he's not worth it.  the best revenge is being happy. 

I found not having expectations of the ex, keeps for a happier me.

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