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My youngest son

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2012 at 9:56 AM
  • 10 Replies

Lately I have been noticing things with my youngest son that just were not adding up....he has always been honest to me been and very close. He has been in 3 serious relationships with ladies, and has been hurt  all threee times....but as you know as a mother we can always tell when things just are not right..... he will say he is going one place and will be at another ...I mean even in a different State.....well the other night he told us he was gay....as a mother what and how do you act....the people that he is now with are very controlling and as I have shared with you he has had a total change in being ....I am a nurse I have explained Aids to him I am heart broken my husband says kick him out....I cannot I feel in all my heart he is not Gay by choice...I have worked and do work with many Gay people ...and I maybe I am blind I need your help and please ....your support....and prayers.

Thank you,

by on Jul. 30, 2012 at 9:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SlapItHigh
by on Jul. 30, 2012 at 10:48 AM

The being gay part doesn't really concern me but the other stuff sounds concerning.  How old is he?  I definitely wouldn't kick him out, especially if you think he's going through a tough time.

jltplk25
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2012 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this
This. Glad, momma. *that's was supposed to be gl, as in "good luck". Stupid autocorrect.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

The being gay part doesn't really concern me but the other stuff sounds concerning.  How old is he?  I definitely wouldn't kick him out, especially if you think he's going through a tough time.

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goddess99
by Michelle on Jul. 30, 2012 at 1:50 PM

You and your dh need to be supportive.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Jul. 30, 2012 at 2:42 PM

There is nothing wrong with being Gay. Your just going to have to try to be supportive and maybe get some kind of counseling to help you thru it.

mom2gr8tgirls
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2012 at 3:12 PM
1 mom liked this

He can't help being gay.  It's not a disease he can catch.  Definitely don't kick him out, that's essentially punishing him.  It sounds like you hope that they failed relationships are the reason he thinks he's gay.  It's unlikely.  It's more likely that the relationships failed because he's gay.  You and your husband need to be supportive of him no matter what, maybe you should go to counseling.  And going over what AIDS is, it sounds like you're trying to scare him straight.  ANYONE can get AIDS, not just someone who's gay.  Good luck to you all. 

DixieFlower
by on Jul. 30, 2012 at 8:14 PM

I agree with all this. I would have thought that the conversation about AIDS would have come up regardless of if he was gay or not.

Quoting mom2gr8tgirls:

He can't help being gay.  It's not a disease he can catch.  Definitely don't kick him out, that's essentially punishing him.  It sounds like you hope that they failed relationships are the reason he thinks he's gay.  It's unlikely.  It's more likely that the relationships failed because he's gay.  You and your husband need to be supportive of him no matter what, maybe you should go to counseling.  And going over what AIDS is, it sounds like you're trying to scare him straight.  ANYONE can get AIDS, not just someone who's gay.  Good luck to you all. 


splatz
by Sarah on Jul. 30, 2012 at 8:52 PM
I'm not sure how exactly kicking him out will help anything? Why should he be punished just because he is gay? I think you and your husband need to take this opportunity and the fact that he shared that with you to get closer to him. To be there for him when it sounds like his life is rough. Not turn your back on him.
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nursevickys1955
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 9:13 AM

Thank you...very much..I appreciate allof your replies....

 

ibsqueen2004
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 1:34 AM

Depending on his age, his moving out might not be a bad idea. If your husband is going to harass him and belittle him for being gay (and I'm not saying he is going to do that but if he's ready to kick him out over it assumptions are...), then it might be healthier for your son in another enviornment. Not him getting "kicked out" but you as parents helping him take the next step. Of course, depending on age/situation. As far as his being gay, I agree with the other comments. His previous relationships might not've lasted because he was gay and didn't realize or didn't want to admit it. Or he could even be bi, which could be just as accurate as gay. For support, look up a local LGBT ( lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender group) in your area. Connect with them WITH your son (even if your husband doesn't want to be a part of it), so he feels like you're accepting him as his is and trying to understand him more. Getting your SON that support group, might help him with the relationship you think he shouldn't be in. Right now, he's getting tons of support from his boyfriend/group of friends, so that's where he wants to stay. If you help him form healthy bonds with a good support group, it might be enough to show him other opportunities. Good luck!

funkycat
by on Aug. 1, 2012 at 3:10 AM

Sounds like counceling would help.Sessions for the Family. Individual counceling for your, son, and husband, and you. You all might learn better coping statgies and interpersonal skills that will keep the family intact and respectful of eachother, and help rash decisions Not to be made. I too am concerned for the well being and health of your son, and the toll stress can do to all involved. There are free and sliding fee counceling services avaliable in most communities. Do some googling or calling with the help of the yellow pages. There are also support groups such as PFLAG. Some colleges have student centers that may have groups or services. Your medical physician or local clinics or county health office may also help you find the proper support system, group agency or counceling / therapy schools that have trained councelors at no or low cost.  Best wishes for a workable solution that you all can live with. You odviously love you son, listen to your heart, and take a pro-active stand. 

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