I get so frustrated with the kids I always have to repeat myself. In the store its hiding in the racks ,,,, stop that or im putting you in the shopping cart. Keeps doing this then crys and yells at me when I put him in shopping cart. Stand right here walks off and climbs on something or whatever.... so by the time im done with erands im so ticked off i end up screaming at the kids the whole way home and then i feel like crap all night because i make them stay in there rooms so i dont have to yell anymore. Why is this a literally everyday ting. they think the rules change daily? I am so over this motherhood crap..............
Before everyone tells me to have consequences for each action I do and i follow thru everytime.
I had my oldest write down the rules of the house and he breaks them daily even though he wrote them out from memory. They know its wrong they just dont care.
Hugs mama!!!! I would stop parenting with threats and made-up consequences....they don't work and they only damage the parent/child relationship. Parent with love and connection -- teach them, don't threaten them. They are smart enough to know that they only get in trouble when you catch them and make up a punishment. It's only "wrong" because you say so. If it's actually wrong, then teach them and they will learn. Otherwise, maybe it's not really wrong. Maybe you can work on problem solving with them?
I had a friend that left everytime her kids would act up. I really don't advise that. Because they learned that if they didn't want to be somewhere, the kids would just act up. I called them on their number on that one. I told her just to sit them in time out and watch the other kids play. We never were able to have our adult mommy time if she had to leave all the time. I even put my kids in time out in the middle of the store. People will look at them and they don't like it. Sometimes I play a game with them on a "military" voice of going left and right. They tend to respond to that and I get so many compliments on how well behaved children I have. (I watch my sister's kids so I have 4 kids with me most of the time 11yrs down to 2yrs.)
Quoting mommaFruFru:dont let them do anything, dont take them anywhere. as soon as they act up leave. dont threaten them let them scream through the store. walk them to the car, and leave
Same here....
Quoting goddess99:Some days just suck. You're not alone. My dd knows the rules as well but sometimes it just doesn't matter to her.
Hope things get better.....I have many days where I feel as though no one will listen either.
I have those days.....I will yell and scream back and forth with my daughter, I walk out and stand on my porch or sit on the steps and take a deep breath for a few minutes and then come back in and my kids how its goona be. So I understand your frustration. Hope things get better for you.
I think we've all been there at one time or another. How many kids do you have? The more of them that you have, I swear, the more they act like animals. I have FIVE, about 8 years apart from oldest to youngest, and holy crap, there was a very long time that I just dreaded having to take them shopping with me. They were squabbling once in the grocery store over who could ride on the front of the cart, and tipped the darn thing over. canned goods and oranges and apples and stuff rolling everywhere. People staring, oh fun. NOT!! That was NOT a stellar day for any of us. Once the oldest four were fighting so much that I forgot the baby in the shopping cart and had to go back into the store to get him. Yeah. It was like, 2 minutes... the store had a one way door so I had to run all the way around to the IN door to get him... but that was not a stellar day, either. Once, I ran a red light and almost had a car accident because some jerk (kid!) in the back seat threw a shoe and hit me in the back of the head... I was looking in the rear view mirror and yelling when the light suddenly changed. Also not a stellar day. So I get how you feel.
Ok... so a suggestion about the bad behavior in the stores. This will sound weird, and I'm sure there are some that would even say it's emotionally abusive... but it WORKS. I once read in the letters from readers section of Better Homes and Gardens about a lady who had the same problem. Someone wrote in and suggested she get a POLICE WHISTLE. (like coaches use) When the kids were bad, blow it. Those things are loud. people will stop and look. The lady said to say, loudly, LOOK AT MY KIDS! AREN'T THEY GREAT?? Or some variation on this. And, she said she only had to do it about a half dozen times, and the kids were so embarassed, that they stopped acting out in public. Well, I was DESPERATE. Going out was a misery, not just for me, but I'm sure they didn't like getting yelled at, either. So I tried it. And, it took exactly ONE TIME to get the kids to stop. All I had to do was put that whistle on its ribbon around my neck before we left home... and if the kids were getting cranked up, I'd calmly ask if they wanted me to blow the whistle... and they were begging to be good. I know, it sounds mean. And it takes a whole lotta big, brass balls to blow that darn thing in public and annouce that your kids want to get some attention. But I'm telling you, it works.
Cleaning
- dani0007
on Aug. 3, 2012 at 5:19 PM