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Frustrated with an attention needy baby

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My son is almost five months old and he is drastically changing for the worse. Every day for the first 12 hours he's up he is so needy for attention. He's teething as well but I know he's not crying bc of his teeth bc when I pick him up or stand up w him he stops. Ive started letting him cry for extended time periods now so hell understand crying is not the way to get good attention but he is not getting the picture. I lose patience with him and feel helpless and angry about him not being the sweet baby he's been before a week and a half ago. Any advice or motivation?
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by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 12:06 PM
Replies (11-20):
Janet
by Ruby Member on Aug. 18, 2012 at 2:37 AM

 Take him to the doctor he may have an ear infection or something else going on.

Mommynay2
by Member on Aug. 18, 2012 at 2:04 PM
You should take him to the pediatrician.
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MilesOfSmiles7
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 2:43 PM

I went through the exact same thing with my son around the same age. My mother would tell me I was spoiling him by holding him and I ignored her. That's the best advice I can give you, if people try to tell you that you should not hold your baby to console him, they just don't know what they're talking about. Around that age babies need the reassurance from their loved ones. They learn abandonment in these stages and ignoring him to teach him a lesson is probably hurting more than helping. He is probably having a hard time understanding why exactly mom put him down when he is upset. It was rough for sure, but I continued to hold my son when he was sad or crabby or in teething pain and I found that he was obviously happier, and even slept better than times when I tried to put him down and ignore his cries. It can get so frustrating listening to the whining and crying so if you feel like you really just need a break it's totally fine to put him down in his crib or play pen or what have you and let him cry so you can walk a way and take a breath. The best part of this stage is that IT GETS BETTER! Once he gets on the move nothing will stop him and you'll miss the times when he wanted you to hold him all of the time! Look at this time as a blessing that your little guy needs you because, in my opinion, that's the most rewarding part of mamahood. Good luck and I think you sound like you're doing great!

smallfry3280
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 4:16 PM


Quoting jltplk25:

All I'm going to say is this: I agree with slapithigh and shadowlark.


busy mom

HopesNDreams
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 4:18 PM
My daughter did this...nothing worked until I took her off all dairy products at age 17 months.
Bmama1
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2012 at 4:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Did you read "The Happiest Baby on the Block"?

Quoting SlapItHigh:

Even if he stops crying when you hold him, it could still be his teeth.  The comfort of your touch, the smell of your skin could be enough to calm him down through the pain.  At 5 months, a baby still very much needs his mother's frequent touch and hold.  Humans are born about 9 months earlier than other mammals due to our large head size.  Because of this, babies continue to gestate for about 9 more months outside of the womb.  This is know as exterogestation.  During this time, babies crave/need a womb like environment where they are safely in the arms of a care provider, preferably mom.  Other mammals come right out of the birth canal and get up and run around, lol.  But humans are born too soon.  If they stayed inside long enough, their heads would be too big to fit through the birth canal.  Throughout time, mothers have historically worn their babies with fabric to make it easier.  Today we have tons of modern baby carriers and I would highly recommend getting a good ergonomic baby carrier like an Ergo, Beco or woven wrap.  This way you can hold your baby close and keep him calm and comforted and still be able to do things for yourself. It's a win/win!

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kajira
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 5:19 PM

Letting him "cry" for extended periods of time at this age, will increase his clinginess, his crying, and his insecurity and anxiety.

What i'd recommend doing is getting a baby carrier so you can do things hands free while wearing the baby.

If you are struggling to handle him, talk to your doctor and pediatrician. It could be ear infections, teething, minor illness, and/or you could be suffering from PPD.

Babies will cry  as their way to communicate before they can talk. They do not cry out of being attention needy - They cry because it's how they tell you something. If he is settling down when picked up, that's a GREAT sign. that should be encouraged, that's a healthy reaction.

SlapItHigh
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 9:02 PM

No, I haven't read that one.  Is it good?

Quoting Bmama1:

Did you read "The Happiest Baby on the Block"?

Quoting SlapItHigh:

Even if he stops crying when you hold him, it could still be his teeth.  The comfort of your touch, the smell of your skin could be enough to calm him down through the pain.  At 5 months, a baby still very much needs his mother's frequent touch and hold.  Humans are born about 9 months earlier than other mammals due to our large head size.  Because of this, babies continue to gestate for about 9 more months outside of the womb.  This is know as exterogestation.  During this time, babies crave/need a womb like environment where they are safely in the arms of a care provider, preferably mom.  Other mammals come right out of the birth canal and get up and run around, lol.  But humans are born too soon.  If they stayed inside long enough, their heads would be too big to fit through the birth canal.  Throughout time, mothers have historically worn their babies with fabric to make it easier.  Today we have tons of modern baby carriers and I would highly recommend getting a good ergonomic baby carrier like an Ergo, Beco or woven wrap.  This way you can hold your baby close and keep him calm and comforted and still be able to do things for yourself. It's a win/win!


SlapItHigh
by on Aug. 18, 2012 at 9:03 PM

All three of my babies were sensitive to dairy as well.

Quoting HopesNDreams:

My daughter did this...nothing worked until I took her off all dairy products at age 17 months.


Bmama1
by Silver Member on Aug. 18, 2012 at 9:18 PM
Yeah it's pretty good. Although it might be pointless for you to read it because your reply pretty much sums up the whole book. Lol.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

No, I haven't read that one.  Is it good?


Quoting Bmama1:

Did you read "The Happiest Baby on the Block"?



Quoting SlapItHigh:

Even if he stops crying when you hold him, it could still be his teeth.  The comfort of your touch, the smell of your skin could be enough to calm him down through the pain.  At 5 months, a baby still very much needs his mother's frequent touch and hold.  Humans are born about 9 months earlier than other mammals due to our large head size.  Because of this, babies continue to gestate for about 9 more months outside of the womb.  This is know as exterogestation.  During this time, babies crave/need a womb like environment where they are safely in the arms of a care provider, preferably mom.  Other mammals come right out of the birth canal and get up and run around, lol.  But humans are born too soon.  If they stayed inside long enough, their heads would be too big to fit through the birth canal.  Throughout time, mothers have historically worn their babies with fabric to make it easier.  Today we have tons of modern baby carriers and I would highly recommend getting a good ergonomic baby carrier like an Ergo, Beco or woven wrap.  This way you can hold your baby close and keep him calm and comforted and still be able to do things for yourself. It's a win/win!


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