I am once again turning to you ladies for advice.
I got a panicked phone call from my bio brother telling me that my bio egg doner(mom) had just been diagnosed with liver failure and wanted me to be tested as a doner.
This woman drinks a 12 pack of beer a day. Every day.
I talked to my adoptive parents(mum fell off the chair laughing so hard and dad rolled his eyes and said" you can't fix stupid") but in the end they left it totally up to me.
I have no sympathy for a woman who drank her whole life, even while pregnant, knowing that she could quit and have a better life.
I really don't want to be tested. She has done this to herself. Evidently my brother was tested ad isn't a match.
How do I tell her that I am not going to shorten my life span by giving her half of my liver. She will only drink it away.
What do I tell my bio family?
Sorry if I sound slightly bitchy in my post!! I am not really a bitch, just frustrated!!!
They will probably do a transplant from a family donor, but most likely won't put her on the transplant waiting list (at least I think that's how it works). I'm sorry, I really have no advice to give, this is an extremely difficult situation. In the end it's your decision. You know what's in your heart for your bio mom and only you can make this decision. Good luck. :(
If she's just been DX'd with liver failure I'm also surprised that they are even considering transplant this soon. I rushed my mom to the ER last Dec because she was throwing up huge blood clots. It was determined that she had internal bleeding due to esophageal varices. Which were caused by her liver failure. They explained it to me that basically when the liver stops functioning properly the pressure goes back into the veins. Then the veins in the esophagus will expand until they burst. She was DX'd with Primary Biliary Cirrhosis. Basically her body is producing antibodies that are attacking the ducts of her liver. Her GI doctor said that eventually she will need a new liver but for right now things appear to be okay. They wanted to know about her drinking history and if she was a heavy drinker she'd not even be able to have the transplant surgery when the time comes.
Quoting jltplk25:
Not just no but hell no. I'm surprised they're even considering her for a transplant if she's still drinking heavily.
I would tell her exactly what you told us. I know that most people wouldn't want to give an organ to someone who was going to misuse it.
Quoting DixieFlower:I would tell her exactly what you told us. I know that most people wouldn't want to give an organ to someone who was going to misuse it.
Its your body, your life and your choice. After everything is said and done you have to look past how she treated you. Funny how she needs you now. But you have a life and family to think about and if you do not feel one hundred percent sure about it for the right reasons, then do not do it. You can apologize and try to explain all you want to your bio family but they might not hear it. And in the end you have to realize who and what truly matters.
Nervous
Is it ok to kill the first? :)
- edelweiss23
on Aug. 25, 2012 at 6:42 PM