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am I blowing this out of proportion? Eta!

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Dh thinks I am blowing this out of proportion. Yesterday I got a facebook message from my future sister-in-law that's states her son's 5th birthday is this Friday and they want to do something for his birthday on Friday. I make sure Friday is open. Tonight I get another text from her stating they switched his party to Thursday night instead of Friday. She'll be sending out invites tomorrow with the finalized details of where and when. Thrusday night my 5 year old son has piano lessons from 5:30pm to 6:15pm. Not to mention they need time to do homeowrk, take their showers, eat dinner and their bedtime is 8pm because they have school earlier the next morning. I was already ticked off because dh sprung on me last minute that he had to work late tomorrow night when he's known for 2 weeks that tomorrow night was back to school parent teacher confreneces at our boys school. I couldn't find anyone to baby sit so it looks like I will be cancelling them. We were supposed to go out of town this weekend on a float trip but dh just sprung on me last night that he has to work out of town that weekend. Looks like we won't be going now. I am ticked off that people can't stick to the plan. Ticked off that my plans keep getting pushed to the side. Ugh! Am I blowing this situation out of proportion?

My mom called me and and asked if I got the info on the party. I said yes and we both agreed that what she did was like, "wtf!" She tried to tell my mom that she really wanted to have her son's party the weekend of his birthday, but his birthday falls on labor day. My brother doesn't get his kids for labor day weekend. They would have done it the following weekend but she didn't have her son for that weekend. The weekend after that she said the were going to plan it for that weekend when they had all the kids but I took that weekend for my son's 2nd birthday (I sent out invites a week ago). Mom asked her why she didn't have it this past weekend and she said they didn't know then whether or not her work would let them use the clubhouse for the party. Mom told her they could have had a little get together at their house or my mom's house, but my sister in law said it wouldn't have been fair since they threw my brother's son 4th birthday party at the clubhouse last month. She said he deserves nothing less. Mom then informed her that she wouldn't be able to stay long because it was a school night. Megan (my aunt 14) doesn't get out of pom practice until 5:30pm, Julia (my niece 11) has drama club after school so she informed her she won't be able to make it there at 6pm that'd it have to be more like 6:30pm. Mom also told her that my son has piano lessons at 5:30 to 6:15pm. That if we showed up it'd be more like 6:30pm. Mom said she sounded very annoyed. She feels that we are all not making time for her son's party because he isn't a biological grandchild. That's what my brother said. What a crock!
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by on Aug. 27, 2012 at 10:36 PM
Replies (21-29):
by on Aug. 28, 2012 at 6:34 PM

Jeez! The kid is 4 years old! Does he even care where is fricken party is held? Hell no, SHE does though. Why can't you combine birthday parties anyway? We sure did it and it was fine. Each kid got their own cake, but WTF, who has time to dedicate every weekend for a fricken b'day party? This is selfishness to the extreme on the part of your sister-in-law and I suspect she is often a pain in the ass trying to make everything "fair". Well, life isn't fair and she should remember that. If she were fine with the party shared with a cousin, so would the kid. Attitude is important. As for your husband, I suspect he is having an affair and I would check on this inconsiderate bastard to see why his plans are so flexible. People are RUDE if you let them get away with it.

by on Aug. 28, 2012 at 9:13 PM
The hubbys job is a frustrating one but likely can't be helped but the rest... Hell yea I'd be pissed about
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by on Aug. 28, 2012 at 9:16 PM

This same thing happened in my family, (My dad's brothers wife's son wasn't biological) My parents got into some kind of fight over a birthday party which started a feud. We haven't associated with them since I was 8 which is really sad. I would let it go so this doesn't happen to you! My dad has rarely spoke to his brother because of it in like 25 years!

by on Aug. 28, 2012 at 10:28 PM
Girl I feel you! I hate when people expect you to drop everything and show up to something. I am a planner and take that into consideration if any body has things to do. Put your foot down.
Tell them your plate is really full and you already made plans to attend the first time but you just can't fit this into your schedule on the new date. Everyone has their own life to live and if you can't make it that doesn't mean you don't love that child any less.
Good luck mama!
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by on Aug. 29, 2012 at 8:57 AM

Totally understandable. Who has a birthday party like that on a school night? That is silly. 

I am also VERY against last minute. I tell everyone 1 week notice isn't enough for 99% of people, let alone, I am a planner. I need 2 weeks minimum. I don't plan my weekends the week of, Usually they are planned a month in advance or so. But with enough notice, I can move things around. My SIL always waits til the week of to tell me about a party, no matter how many times I explained. Sigh. Drives me nuts! 

by on Sep. 2, 2012 at 4:32 PM

I have kinda mixed feelings on it on one hand it is very annoying that everyone keeps changing plans or not you telling till last minute. Look at it from their perspective, they are just trying to accommadate everyones schedule and the reality is its NOT going to happen. My husband use to wait till the last minute to tell me things like that but I kept telling him how much it bugged me and he learned to be more respectful of my feelings. It sounds like you just need a well deserved break from your husband and kids. I have a night once a week that I get out and have a night for me. My husband knows this and makes sure he is home. I  joined a womens bowling leauge and enjoy the adult conversations of other women. Go find something you enjoy doing and join in with other ladies, It gives me somethig to look forward to doing every week thats just for me.

by Member on Sep. 2, 2012 at 6:21 PM

I wouldnt go to the party regardless.  It is a school night.  I think your SIL is being disrespectful to everyone.  I dont think you are blowing things out of proportion.  You have a right to be upset.  At your SIL and DH. 

by on Sep. 2, 2012 at 6:53 PM
If someone is going to have a bday party on a Thursday, they should understand that people are going to be stressed for time and may not be able to come.
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by on Sep. 3, 2012 at 12:44 AM

 Personally I think she should have figured out her sons birthday party weeks before then none of this would even be an issue. What does she really expect when springing this on someone a week in advance and not to mention on a school night. Don't worry about it at all. She'll get over it, it's her fault in the 1st place.

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