I have gone out of my way to give above n treat him with rules n chores such more leanant then my own like allowing to go to movies with girlfriend n her come over wen i refuse for my daughter because i am strict that way n do not agree with that and if i were to tell him no he only acts out worse if i dont let him n my husband lets him n says he is in the middle. Example school nights wen i was preg with our daughter now 10 mths i said no cell phones til homework is finished his phone wrang he looks at me n says oh look my phone is ringing and im answering it n did... i told his father n he did nothing exceptsay wht he do now...i feel anymore if our daughter wasnt in pic id hi tale out of here im so misreable! He laughs at my face all the time n talks back.
I kno its same thing all the time it looks like its not going to change I told him to go to room last nite for laughing in my face n my husband says I hate his son...which isnt the case if he would just respect me...i hate to go thru another divorce n have our daughter go thru a broken family but im running out of answers... I repremand and he wines to my husband how he didnt do whatever n its me who is just reacting n my husband comes after me not as a team disaplinning together but on the opposing. Most recent i said you cant keep your room clean we dont need a dog he passes me in hall or just in passing says lets c I WILL get my dog.I just ignored him
He is your STEP-son, not your son. You don't have the right to say no phone until the homework is done. That is for his father to do. What have you done for him besides giving him rules and chores. Oh, you ALLOW his girlfriend to come over and go on dates. Try being a little more understanding from the kid's point of view. He most likely still has issues with his parent's divorce and is watching you trying to take his momma's place. Change your approach and you might get some results. DAD should be the one to enforce basic house rules like respect for all. He should also be the one to set the boundaries regarding chores, homework, etc. for his son. It sounds like his dad feels guilty and is trying to make it up to his son by letting him do whatever he wants. Your husband is right, he is in the middle and you are the one who has put him there. It doesn't have to be a battle. Obviously, the two of you have different parenting styles and didn't discuss this before you got married and had your own baby. Family counseling would probably help everyone. However, if you go, don't go with the idea that just your husband and stepson need to change. The idea is that everyone works on their own problems and the situation gets better. Give it a try and good luck.
Sounds like your family needs family counseling. Your husband, you, all kids involved AND the mom.
Watch a few episodes of Dr.Phil and you will see your family there. You need a outsider to tell everyone what is going on and how to fix it.
We don't have step kids in our house, but there are times my older kids (especially boys) start to disrespect me. My dh had gotten to a point where he didn't say anything except "I thought you were handling it". I told him he was the father in the house - the leader - and he needed to lead. If he didn't care for the boys talking to me like that, then we had a problem. Since then, I just have to mention to dh that the boys are getting out of line and he reprimands them and they apologize. It is so much better than me appearing to be a 'whiney-butt'.
Good Luck
Sorry I disagree..... I was the daughter of step parents... YES you have the right to set rules for the home !!!! I would try and get your dh on board or talk to him about what rules you can agree on. The counseling is a GREAT idea, if dh or dss wont go, you should go without them so you have some support.. Im a step daughter and a step mom so I know what both of you are going through... Good luck :)
Quoting orngblsm:He is your STEP-son, not your son. You don't have the right to say no phone until the homework is done. That is for his father to do. What have you done for him besides giving him rules and chores. Oh, you ALLOW his girlfriend to come over and go on dates. Try being a little more understanding from the kid's point of view. He most likely still has issues with his parent's divorce and is watching you trying to take his momma's place. Change your approach and you might get some results. DAD should be the one to enforce basic house rules like respect for all. He should also be the one to set the boundaries regarding chores, homework, etc. for his son. It sounds like his dad feels guilty and is trying to make it up to his son by letting him do whatever he wants. Your husband is right, he is in the middle and you are the one who has put him there. It doesn't have to be a battle. Obviously, the two of you have different parenting styles and didn't discuss this before you got married and had your own baby. Family counseling would probably help everyone. However, if you go, don't go with the idea that just your husband and stepson need to change. The idea is that everyone works on their own problems and the situation gets better. Give it a try and good luck.
Quoting pixiemom4:Sorry I disagree..... I was the daughter of step parents... YES you have the right to set rules for the home !!!! I would try and get your dh on board or talk to him about what rules you can agree on. The counseling is a GREAT idea, if dh or dss wont go, you should go without them so you have some support.. Im a step daughter and a step mom so I know what both of you are going through... Good luck :)
Quoting orngblsm:He is your STEP-son, not your son. You don't have the right to say no phone until the homework is done. That is for his father to do. What have you done for him besides giving him rules and chores. Oh, you ALLOW his girlfriend to come over and go on dates. Try being a little more understanding from the kid's point of view. He most likely still has issues with his parent's divorce and is watching you trying to take his momma's place. Change your approach and you might get some results. DAD should be the one to enforce basic house rules like respect for all. He should also be the one to set the boundaries regarding chores, homework, etc. for his son. It sounds like his dad feels guilty and is trying to make it up to his son by letting him do whatever he wants. Your husband is right, he is in the middle and you are the one who has put him there. It doesn't have to be a battle. Obviously, the two of you have different parenting styles and didn't discuss this before you got married and had your own baby. Family counseling would probably help everyone. However, if you go, don't go with the idea that just your husband and stepson need to change. The idea is that everyone works on their own problems and the situation gets better. Give it a try and good luck.
I get the smart mouth from my own sometimes...I would say make it even all the way round...with rules and such...
Wheel of consequences
Which do you prefer?
- Starbucks101
on Sep. 2, 2012 at 2:52 PM