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Should I do something? LONG...SORRY!

Posted by on Sep. 6, 2012 at 10:45 AM
  • 18 Replies

I feel so bad for my DH.  When we were all still in high school, he hung out with like 4 guys.  They were his buds...they were a close group.  He's still "friends" with most of them, and has made a couple of other friends since high school.  He works a ton though, so he doesn't get to hang out a bunch or meet new people.  

Well, since high school, he kind of stopped talking to one guy...he moved about an hour away and their interests are just so dissimilar now.  Another guy joined the Navy right after high school and lives in Virginia now (they still talk when he's home but they don't come home more than once or twice a year).  Another guy lives in Hawaii so there is like no communication there anymore at all.  And then the last high school friend and DH hardle ever talk anymore because the friend's wife doesn't like DH (really, none of us like her either...she's a raging B).  So, he really doesn't talk to any of his high school friends anymore.  

He's made a couple of friends through my friends (my best friend started dating a guy and DH and him hit it off and were friends instantaneously and then him and I also became friends with a couple who had just moved to town...she is still one of my best friends).  Well, the guy that started dating my best friend, they were going to get married but my friend called off the wedding four days prior and left him (turns out she'd been being emotionally and mentally abused their entire relationship).  There's a whole backstory to that but her and I cut communications for awhile.  When her and I reconciled, her ex just stopped talking to us.  DH and I have both reached out to him, but he will not talk to us.  

The other guy (who's married to one of best friends) was okay for awhile.  He's always seemed like he felt he was entitled and thought he was better/smarter than everyone else, but for the most part we could all stand it.  Within the last few months though, he got horrible and none of us can stand to be around him at all.  He's become a monster of a friend, husband and father.  And none of us want anything at all to do with him (thankfully he travels a lot for work).  So, now DH has like no friends...except for my girl friends and me.  He talks to guys at work, but it's not like they hang out or he can call and just chat with one of them.  And when one of them does call him, all they talk about is work.  

He's had friends other than this, but well I won't get into why he doesn't talk to a couple of them anymore.  But, how do I help him?  I feel horrible and just want to cry when he says he wishes he had guy friends to talk to.  What can I do?

by on Sep. 6, 2012 at 10:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jenn8604
by Bronze Member on Sep. 6, 2012 at 10:48 AM
Find guys for ur single gfs to date and he can try to befriend them otherwise idk.
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mom2gr8tgirls
by Gold Member on Sep. 6, 2012 at 11:00 AM

Yeah...I don't have any single friends!  Lol  They're all married or in long-term relationships.  Grr.  :)

Quoting Jenn8604:

Find guys for ur single gfs to date and he can try to befriend them otherwise idk.


Jenn8604
by Bronze Member on Sep. 6, 2012 at 11:27 AM
he doesnt get along w ANY of their guys?

Quoting mom2gr8tgirls:

Yeah...I don't have any single friends!  Lol  They're all married or in long-term relationships.  Grr.  :)

Quoting Jenn8604:

Find guys for ur single gfs to date and he can try to befriend them otherwise idk.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mom2gr8tgirls
by Gold Member on Sep. 6, 2012 at 11:41 AM

Well, I don't have a ton of friends either...quality over quantity!  lol  One of my friends does the long distance thing, her guy is over 3 hours away, so we hardly know him.  Another one she and I don't hardly ever talk anymore so we don't really hang out.  One of my friends and I are trying to get her bf and my DH to hang out, but my DH is one for being outside, working on cars, fishing, etc and her bf is more into video games and smoking weed.  So...I don't think there's a friendship there...lol!

Quoting Jenn8604:

he doesnt get along w ANY of their guys?

Quoting mom2gr8tgirls:

Yeah...I don't have any single friends!  Lol  They're all married or in long-term relationships.  Grr.  :)

Quoting Jenn8604:

Find guys for ur single gfs to date and he can try to befriend them otherwise idk.



Janet
by Ruby Member on Sep. 6, 2012 at 11:44 AM

 Does he have any hobbies?

mom2gr8tgirls
by Gold Member on Sep. 6, 2012 at 12:52 PM

Yeah, he loves fishing and just being outside.  Cars...looking at them, working on them, etc.  He likes trains, just to name a few.

Quoting Janet:

 Does he have any hobbies?


goddess99
by Michelle on Sep. 6, 2012 at 1:27 PM

No advice here, Chris left everyone to be with us so he has no one except 1 guy from work but they just tinker with Chris's cars lol. 

Bump

mistyDaze76
by on Sep. 6, 2012 at 1:27 PM

My dh doesn't have any real friends either.  He says that I'm his best friend and likes to do everything with me.  He used to talk about having guy friends to talk to and hang out with and then he got involved on a public forum a couple of years ago.  He's been on several different forums, but when he found this one, he just kind of fit in and has made some really good friends from there.  None of them are local, but he's talked with a couple guys on the phone and there are plans of meeting up in the near future.  Maybe he can get involved in a forum?  Just some place he can let it out and be a guy with other guys?  I know they couldn't really hang out IRL, but this seemed to really help my dh.

salamandersmom
by on Sep. 6, 2012 at 1:30 PM

Wish I knew what to say.  My hubby doesn't  have friends either.  People he works with, sure.  And he pretty much lives at work though he'd rather not.  All his friends are still in California where he grew up, and they won't speak to him because they're mad that he married a Minnesota girl and stayed here. 

splatz
by Sarah on Sep. 6, 2012 at 2:13 PM

Sam doesn't hang out with any of his friends. Granted the only friends he has now are the guys he works with & he doesn't hang out with them out of work. The most they do is play video games on the xbox online together, lol. And the friends he had when we got together are still immature bachelors. So he doesn't have any interest in hanging out with them either. :(

I feel your pain. I don't know what to do for him either. I feel bad. All but 2 of my "friends" ditched me when things got bad with my ex husband. And I hardly ever see either of them now. So him hanging out with my friends guys doesn't work either. And I totally just jacked your post, lol.... sorry!

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