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My SIL kinda long.....Sorry

Posted by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 12:12 PM
  • 11 Replies
When my SIL was getting married my husband and I came to Wisconsin a little before the wedding to help out with the last minute stuff. No biggie. I met her maid of honor and we became fast friends. We ended up doing everything for he bride. The other bridesmaids did absolutely nothing and only cared about their stuff. We ran around and did everything. I wasn't even part of the wedding party but I should have been. I didn't mind helping but why was everything up to us.

Last year we ended up moving to Wisconsin. Thru the years me and the other girl kept in touch and visited each other. Well we both have kids near the same age and we go and do things together with them. My SlL is a very controlling person. Has to always be in charge of everything. She acts very childish and loud and abrasive. Of course she is never wrong. Well we have gone out together by ourselves and with the kids. We did a wine walk where you go around town and try out the different wines. Mind you she was coming back from vacation so it's not like she could have gone and you had to get tickets in advance. She was extremely pissed that we went and didn't invite her.

I woud like to have her come with us when she can but when you catlike that it's hard.

About a month ago we were going to go to some wine tasting and shopping for the kids school stuff. She works so she really can't go and it was our day out with no kids. It was nice it just get away and do stuff. Well she comes to her dad's house (where we live at the moment) and sees my hubby and son with her her husband and kids. of course she figures we are together and isn't happy. The next day she didn't say a word to me or anything. She acted like a complete child. We know she is jealous of our friendship. She also doesn't talk to her friend all the time. Apparently we aren't suppose to be friends. I want to talk to her about it but no matter how I say it or anything it will not be good.

Any ideas?


CafeMom Tickers
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 12:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
girlcarrot
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 12:58 PM

not worth your time or effot. Be nice, but don't be overly nice. Just say hello, how are you and part your ways and let your DH invite her if he wants to but I'd stay out of it. You're making a mole hill into a mountain.

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Pammi86
by Pamela on Sep. 11, 2012 at 1:02 PM
I wouldn't bother bc clearly she needs to grow up!
MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Sep. 11, 2012 at 2:17 PM

I agree with this.

Quoting Pammi86:

I wouldn't bother bc clearly she needs to grow up!


thecoffeefairy
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 2:20 PM
This.


Quoting girlcarrot:

not worth your time or effot. Be nice, but don't be overly nice. Just say hello, how are you and part your ways and let your DH invite her if he wants to but I'd stay out of it. You're making a mole hill into a mountain.


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campbellmamma
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 2:44 PM
1 mom liked this

 I think ignoring the situation will only make it worse.  Even if her feelings are coming across "childish" or "immature", maybe that's the only way she knows how to express what she's feeling inside.  It sounds like maybe she feels left-out and would really like all three of you to spend more time together.  If you know ahead of time that a wine tasting or other event is coming up, invite your SIL and your friend.  Eventually, she'll see that you're not puposely excluding her(as seen through her eyes, not necessarily true)and want her to be a part of your friendship with the other lady. 

cjgmommy05
by Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 9:39 PM

I know she needs too grow up but I don't think she will.  


cjgmommy05
by Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 9:44 PM

We have invited her to things with us but she still acts the same way.  The childness of the whole thing and we all meaning my husband and her husband and both of us know its a jealousy issue.  This past weekend was my son's party and she completely ignorned me and didnt say a word to me and she was just down right rude.  Even the other girl was like that the hell is her problem.  I told her that she does this to me every time she knows that we do something together.   she said a few things to my husband but not much.  


mom2gr8tgirls
by Gold Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:01 PM
Sounds like my sister. I eventually cut all ties with her. So did the friend. Life is way easier for both of us now.
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mamakin616
by Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Your a grown woman and you do not have to make sure that your sister in-law approves of your friendships,even if it was afriend of hers first,she does not own the other lady and you both can make friends with who ever you want to make friends with.This woman is still acting like she is on the playground and in kindegarten.She may be used to getting results by giving people the silent treatment and treating them badly when they have done nothing wrong,but if you allow her to get away with it in this situation she will be controlling you also.You should just keep on with life as usual,if you feel like inviting her later on try it,but don;t be bullied into it by her childish behavior or silent treatments and ignoring people,because if you do ..every time she things do not go her way ,the same things will happen.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Sep. 12, 2012 at 9:02 AM

 I agree.

Quoting campbellmamma:

 I think ignoring the situation will only make it worse.  Even if her feelings are coming across "childish" or "immature", maybe that's the only way she knows how to express what she's feeling inside.  It sounds like maybe she feels left-out and would really like all three of you to spend more time together.  If you know ahead of time that a wine tasting or other event is coming up, invite your SIL and your friend.  Eventually, she'll see that you're not puposely excluding her(as seen through her eyes, not necessarily true)and want her to be a part of your friendship with the other lady. 

 

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