plz help not sure what to do

[busysahmwith3]

i have been divorced for 3 years now. i have 2 dd 9 and 11. lately they have not been wanting to go to their dads. the oldest even cries but they both get worked up on the thurs before they go. they go every other weekend. my youngest has adhd and sees a physcriatrist and they both see a therepist for stuff he has done in the past. he tried to kill himself when i asked for a divorce in the house the girls saw the police and ambulance come and take him out. they say they don't feel wanted over there. he lives with his gf they have been together over 2 yrs. i don't really know what the problem is. but their therepist and the psycrytrist said they don't have a healthy relationship with their dad and shouldn't be going as often. oh yea he gets them a week each month in the summer and he never has them bath. he hasn't celebrated their birthday is 3 years other than happy birthday. my question is it's their dad. what should i do? i never trash him even though the girls get mad that he does me and my fiance. when do u say enough is enough and take your kids away from a parent so much. is it good or bad i see pros and cons. thoughts please thanks

[HopefulMimi]

What are the pros and cons you see? If a relationship is doing more harm than good its always best to cut ties in my opinion. Don't completely close the door as he is their father because later on he may mature and come to his senses but honestly if the cons out weigh the pros then do what you know is best for your children, and stay strong.

[jltplk25]

I agree with Mimi. Sounds like your girls need to stay away from him for a while.

[Janet]

 Are these court ordered days he spends with them?

[goddess99]

exactly, you can't just legally stop if this is the case. You'll have to prove him unfit and go through the courts.

Quoting Janet:

 Are these court ordered days he spends with them?

[Pammi86]

Am I crazy or has something like this been posted recently? Sorry, just trying to keep up with it all!

[DixieFlower]

I'm wondering the same thing.

Quoting goddess99:

exactly, you can't just legally stop if this is the case. You'll have to prove him unfit and go through the courts.

Quoting Janet:

 Are these court ordered days he spends with them?

[busysahmwith3]

thanks he is 37 so i'm not sure he will grow up.lol

Quoting HopefulMimi:

What are the pros and cons you see? If a relationship is doing more harm than good its always best to cut ties in my opinion. Don't completely close the door as he is their father because later on he may mature and come to his senses but honestly if the cons out weigh the pros then do what you know is best for your children, and stay strong.

[busysahmwith3]

yes right now it is court ordered

[Lifescrazy1223]

Depending on the state your living in..you have to prove him completely physically and emtionally unfit to take them from their father. In my eyes..what hes done in the past and recently proves just that but its not enough to hold up in court. On the bright side, you have every right to file for supervised visitation. Where you or a member of your family or a social worker will sit with him and the children within visiting time limits to make sure he is being a good parent. You can contact your local court house in your county and set up an appt to speak with family law. Good luck hun. Been through this many times and just now getting on track

[SlapItHigh]

It really depend on what the problem is, why they don't want to go.  Unless it's something severe, not likely the courts will do anything about it.  I'd work on finding a better therapist or increasing the frequency of sessions with the current one.