Late last year, we started hanging out with one of my husband's oldest friends (V), and his wife (L). You should also know that, among our friends, it's considered totally normal to flirt and be silly, but boundaries are respected. Well, V and I were flirting, and enjoying each other's company. We started talking online, and one week when he was off of work and my kids were away at camp, we ended up talking for several hours a day. That made my husband really uncomfortable, and he asked us both to stop. I agreed, because obviously my husband's comfort is the most important thing to me. V also agreed, but then he kept pushing the issue. Asking my husband repeatedly when he was going to "get over it," calling me after he said he wouldn't, that kind of thing. At the time, I thought it was a misunderstanding, but I've come to understand that it was intentional.
Well, it became a whole thing. V kept pushing, my husband kept freaking out more. (Oh, you should probably also know that my husband's first wife left him for his then best friend. V knows this.) It got to where my husband didn't want me to be around V unless he was there. So when his wife, L, asked me to come over to hang out with her at her house, my husband was worried. V promised he would go hang out downstairs so we could have girl time -- and then he spent the whole time with us. On and on. Finally we decided we just needed to be away from both of them, completely, for a while. Well, right about this time, L freaked out. She started accusing my husband of being controlling and treating me badly, and accused us (my husband and me) of not communicating with each other and having a bad marriage. She started texting my husband saying awful things to him. Come to find out that she has a history of suddenly deciding that people have "filled her BS meter," and then she suddenly won't have anything to do with them anymore.
So, I talked to her and tried to work it out, and she and I decided we needed a break, but that we were all going to collectively move past this and be friends. The only change was going to be that V and I wouldn't be alone together. L said she was really glad that I came to her, because she really wanted to be my friend, and that normally she would have just stopped talking to us.
Well, last night, my husband was out and ran into the two of them. I don't know how the discussion started, but L told my husband *again* that he had "filled her BS meter," and she was "done" with him. That she didn't even want to hear his side of anything. She also said that it was unreasonable to expect someone to honor their word, that people shouldn't have to do things just because they said they would.
So, basically, the two of them are crazy. On the one hand, I almost feel like I should ask her if she said that, and give her a chance to explain, because she kept complaining about how we don't "communicate," even though that was totally unfounded. On the other hand, I know she'll just deny it, and I really don't care. She said she wanted to be my friend, but then she insulted my husband AGAIN. I know I'm done with this friendship; I just don't know if I ought to tell her, or just unceremoniously drop her from my life.