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How did you cope?

Posted by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 4:01 PM
  • 17 Replies

I recently filed for divorce and I feel it was the right thing to do but im scared of the process because I was with him so long and the starting over process is scary.. Has anyone been in this situation and how did you cope? Did part of you miss him even tho you knew this was the best thing to do for your children. He was emotionally abusive but am i wrong for leaving because now the family gets broken up? Please help

by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 4:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mom2gr8tgirls
by Gold Member on Sep. 21, 2012 at 4:31 PM

I have never personally been through a divorce but I have a friend who left her fiancee 4 days before their wedding because he was emotionally abusive.  They had been together for about three years when she left.  She told me it was so hard to leave because he threatened her with things like using her friends against her if she left, etc.  She said that once she had left, everyone came down on her and she almost gave in and went back but she kept looking at their son and just couldn't imagine putting him through a life full of what she'd been dealing with for the past two years.  She said she got lonely sometimes and would want to call him but instead she'd call friends or family.  She also still to this day (and she ended it 2 years ago) loves him, but she knows she loves the idea of what they could have been, not what was really there.  It's hard, and she's like my other half so I know every detail of how she felt then and how she feels now.  

As far as you being wrong for leaving...YOU ARE NOT.  Emotional abuse often leads to physical abuse.  Which may just start with you, but would eventually trickle down to your children.  My friend's ex used to try to make her feel guilty for leaving, and your's might too.  But don't let him.  You are doing what's best for you and your children.  Surround yourself with supportive friends and family.  GL to you!

mrs.southard17
by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 4:56 PM

 thank you it is hard very hard he does certainly likes to make me feel bad for leaving him and this was just recent cuz i left him for another man totally different then him and he is trying to punish me by taunting me and using my kids as a tool to get what he wants its sad..

MrsGuerrero92
by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 5:05 PM
I have no idea. I've been married for 20 yrs. I can't even imagine starting over again. I wish you luck. Take it one day at a time.
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mrs.southard17
by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 5:12 PM

thank you im certainly trying its hard... but our relationship has been toxic from the beginning but i was so young and blind to it it took me 6 years to realize it

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Sep. 21, 2012 at 6:07 PM

I divorced my ex back in 2002. It was hard and a few times we hooked up for you know but I never took him back. After 6 months we finally stopped meeting up and moved on.

OliviasMommy611
by on Sep. 21, 2012 at 7:24 PM
I'm sorry
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luvmybug
by Amanda on Sep. 21, 2012 at 7:42 PM

i felt guily fo a long time that i broke up my family. but my ex was abusive and it was the right thing to do. i just lived day by day. tried to stay in the moment and be the best mommy i could be to my daughter. *HUGS*

Janet
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 3:15 PM

 I'm so sorry.

jltplk25
by Gold Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Im very sorry and i wish you luck.
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snuggiewoogie
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 4:35 PM

 Good Luck to you!

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