I am fed up and don't know what to do!!!! -Warning! Venting alot.
Ok! I have tried and tried and tried. My dh works long hours. I mean sometimes more than 16 in a day. I have understood. I have understood it when he got depressed about it. I have understood and tried to help and encourage in every way. But, I have raised 3 kids and help with a grandson the first year and a half. One kid is left. The others and the gs are now gone. My youngest dd has issues that have to be addressed at all times. She is a cutter (she cuts herself in crisis and trauma) and we are getting her help with that. (She hasn't cut in over a month). She is also a model. Bragging here a little, she just got signed by an agent and should be working on a regular basis modeling for companies like Rue 21, JC Penney etc. Now, that the bragging is over, I will stop chasing that rabbit.
I work a part time job. It is a job that I love and have done it for years. I work whenever I am needed and that gives me enough money for the extras like Christmas, b'days and such. Some of those days, I will work 12+ hours. The job has gotten more regular since football season has opened (I work as an event staff member). My boss has also signed a deal with a company to work taking money for a parking lot. I take up money to let people park in the evenings every Thurs., Fri, and Sat. My son and I work together on this. I am also a regular event staff member for Presbyterian College football, Clemson U and the local auditorium. In 20 years, that man has yet to clean one bathroom. I have asked for a day off once a month and I can't even get that. I clean the house, take care of the pets, and all of the usual house wife duties. It used to be, that he would at least load the dishwasher, cut the grass and take off the garbage. Now, he lets the dishes pile up while I am gone. My dd cleans up the bathrooms and vacuums, takes care of the pets when I am not around. She's a huge help. But, I have been cutting the grass, cleaning the majority and everything else. I feel like I have to lead him in all costs even spiritually. I am very religious and my faith is important to me. But, if I don't go to church, he often won't. That has changed a little since he started playing the bass on the praise team. He has a job there and that keeps him going. I know that he's tired. But, this week, he has gotten home early every day. I came home last night and while my dd was spending the night over at a friends, and I worked in a parking lot at PC and then working for another 6 hours at the parking lot downtown, and the garbage can was overflowing, dishes were piled up, the bathroom sink was nasty after he had shaved (gross) and a stain was on the carpet. He accidentally kicked his glass of tea over and didn't bother cleaning it up! I am so upset! I am tired. Even as I write this, I am supposed to be getting ready for church and I haven't even showered. I have nursery by myself this morning and I have to serve with another woman for a special lunch at church. I am so tired. It's been a very long week and next week is filled with appointments for my dd including driving her to Charlotte NC which is an hour and a half away.
I am sorry to complain. You ladies are so sweet to listen to me. I should be encouraging all of you, but today, I am just drained.
Thanks for listening this exhausted mom's complaints and rants!
UPDATE: I began having a slight panic attack and trying to keep it quiet. He heard me. It finally hit him that maybe, he needed to do something. As soon as I saw his face, I prayed to God that I would not go off on him. But, he asked: "what can I do?" I told him that I would just like it if he would load or unload the dw and pick up after himself. The grass is high and my time getting to it is often times as scarce as his. He wants to help. He hated seeing me upset. He also knows that stress is a big factor in my health and wants to help and we help each other. I don't know how long this will last... but for now, I am BASKING in it!