My Daddy called me tonight. He said it's time for my boys and I to make a trip home. :(
My Momma has stage 4 brain cancer.... she's already done the chemo, and had surgery to take out the majority of the tumor. We have known about it for 380 days. The longest year of my life.
I knew this was coming, and it's been tearing me up. Now I have to go home and tell my Mom goodbye. My boys won't even remember her. It's breaking my heart. I'm falling apart.
She's not just my Mom. She's my best friend.
I am only 28. I thought I would have her until my kids were grown. Never did I think it would end like this.
I am going home on the 2nd. I am so scared.
I thought of leaving my boys here and going all by myself, but I haven't been w/o them since they were born. I also want them to have every second with them they can. And it would be wrong to keep them from her. She loves them like crazy. Also, I know I'm going to flip out if I don't have them there, because I would only have to worry about me. If my kids are there, i have to keep together, for them. They will be anchor to reality.
I plan on staying at my Mom's while in town, but will be sending my boys with relatives during the day, and keeping them with me at night. The kids should be happy about that, because we live 4 hours away we don't get home to see family as often as we should. and everyone spoils them.
I want our time alone to be spent laying in her bed, talking and sleeping, And filling out a book called Grandma's Memories. :(
Sorry it's so long. Thanks for listening, and most of all thanks the words of love. I had almost given up on CM. You ladies didn't only restore my faith in CM but in humanity itself.