Problem child or just experimenting? *Long* need advice on what to do **Update**

[vinalex0581]

I called up my sons principal yesterday and he told me that this shouldn't have happened. He's going to call a meeting with all of the 2nd grade teachers and inform them of what is happening. He's going to make sure that the teachers keep an eye on Courtney to make sure she doesn't do it again. I feel bad that I went over my sons teachers' head but I figured I had to speak to the principal about the situation. I did suggest to him that his teacher, him and I should meet up but that's when he told me he's going to speak with the other teachers.  He said that it would be bad if my son had to be transfered to a different class because he probably made friends all ready and how far into the school year it is. Really?? Why would MY son have to move to a different class?? I told him in a 7 year olds perspective he might feel that he's being punished if he ended up moving into another class. He told me that he wouldn't want to move Courtney out of that class just in case she was put there for a reason. Wow!! Really?? That was the reason he gave me?? Okay. So if this continues and they make him move to a different class, I'm thinking of getting the media involved, after all, if the situation was reversed, my son would be the one getting suspended for this. I feel they are being sexist about this situation. 

My son was in 1st grade last year and 6 years old. Things were going fine for him. Until one day he comes home and said, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." She was a classmate of his. I told him that she shouldn't do it and that he should stay away from her. The week after he comes home from school and he said,"Courtney tried holding my hand and kissed me on the cheek." I told him that the next time she touches you to tell her stop. The next day he comes home and says, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." I asked, "did you tell her to stop?" He said yes. I told him to ignore her. I told him to not tell the teacher because she doesn't need to get in trouble. I figured she's 6 so she's just experimenting. The next week he comes up to me and tells me that she touched his penis. So I wrote his teacher a note and told her what his classmate did. She called me to let me know that the kids went to see the school counselor to talk about this (separately, of course). That her parents were informed on what happened. She also told me that she's going to keep them separate and she will keep a better eye on her from now on. I explained to her that she had been kissing him and holding his hands throughout the year. I told his teacher that I didn't want to say anything at first because I didn't want to get Courtney in alot of trouble and possibly have this scar her when all she might have been doing is experimenting to begin with.

The next day my son comes home telling me, "Courtney came up to me and put her arms on her hips and said to me, "thanks alot Alex!" So that was the end of that.

This year my son is in 2nd grade and 7 years old. At his open house (before school starts each year, kids get to visit their classroom, meet their teacher and possibly meet their classmates). We saw that Courtney was in his class again this year.

I informed his teacher on what happened last year between the two of them and she told me that she was told about it all ready.

One my of son's friend came over to play and his friends mother told me that Courntey is a trouble maker and that she got her son in trouble a couple of times last year.

So.....last week (school started September 4th as it's 3 weeks into schoo) my son comes home and yet, again, tells me that Courtney kissed him on the cheek.

I'm thinking of maybe contacting my sons elementary school principal and letting him know what's going on since, obviously, telling my sons teacher isn't helping at all. I can understand, she has to watch over 18 kids so she can't keep on eye on Courtney all of the time. She's not there when they have lunch or are at their specials. 

Should I inform my sons teacher on what Courtney did or should I just go and tell the principal?

I don't want to go over the teachers head and go right to her boss but it doesn't seem like talking to his teacher is helping at all.

Also, isn't this considered a type of bullying?

[Pammi86]

I would contact the principle and ask for a meeting with the teacher, the principle him/her self and you. Something needs to be done bc by second grade they might not understand why but they know its wrong!

[Darqdaughter]

I agree, It is making your son uncomfortable and school should be one of the places they enjoy the most! I don't think she is doing it to purposely make him uncomfortable but it is still inappropriate.

Quoting Pammi86:

I would contact the principle and ask for a meeting with the teacher, the principle him/her self and you. Something needs to be done bc by second grade they might not understand why but they know its wrong!

[Bethy16]

I had a VERY simmilar situation with my son when he was in 1st grade. This little girl actually pulled her pants down and asked my son to lick her and she wanted to suck his penis!! She did the same thing to my girlfriends son so we both called the school trying to avoid the parents. They also called them in separately and that afternoon the girl grabbed my son and threw him into the bus window also saying thanks for getting her in trouble. In this case the school did nothing. It started up again last year the first week on the bus and i told the school and the parents I was going to the police since they are not protecting my son! I was so happpy when they changed bus routes and even though she lives down the block she is not on the bus with him. BUT guess who he was sitting next to in class the first day of school??? I requested she not be in class with him and here she is! The principal cant do anything now but the teacher moved his seat. She keeps them as apart as she can. That being said this girl had both of the kids on each side of her ask to have their desks moved and she gets sent to the office almost every day. While she is not bullying my son anymore she is so disruptive in the class it takes away from all therest of the kids. What drives me nuts is that because it is was a girl to a boy it isnt as serious as if it was a boy doing this to a girl. I would threaten the school and if it continues they need to call CPS because 6yr olds shouldnt know this kind of stuff :(

[orngblsm]

First thing that comes to my mind is why is a 6/7-year-old child so sexually aggressive?  That is usually a red flag that a child has been sexually abused.  If so, she needs help.  I read your post to my mother and the first words out of her mouth were, "Something wrong is going on in Courtney's home."  What she is doing is not experimenting but a cry for help. 

Yes, what she is doing is a form of bullying, in the adult world we call it sexual harassment.  What I would probably do is call a meeting with the teacher, the principal, and the school psychologist.  Explain what happened last year, what is happening again this year, and ask what they plan to do about it.  I would bring up the possibility of abuse and that you have heard from other classmate's mothers that Courtney has had issues with them as well.  More of the same like last year (speak with a school counselor and the parents) would not be acceptable.  Your son, like all kids, deserves to have a supportive learning environment which he is not getting while being harassed by a classmate.  And if that classmate needs help and intervention, she should get that as well.

[jltplk25]

This. Here's no way a typical 6 year old would be acting like that.

Quoting orngblsm:

First thing that comes to my mind is why is a 6/7-year-old child so sexually aggressive?  That is usually a red flag that a child has been sexually abused.  If so, she needs help.  I read your post to my mother and the first words out of her mouth were, "Something wrong is going on in Courtney's home."  What she is doing is not experimenting but a cry for help. 

Yes, what she is doing is a form of bullying, in the adult world we call it sexual harassment.  What I would probably do is call a meeting with the teacher, the principal, and the school psychologist.  Explain what happened last year, what is happening again this year, and ask what they plan to do about it.  I would bring up the possibility of abuse and that you have heard from other classmate's mothers that Courtney has had issues with them as well.  More of the same like last year (speak with a school counselor and the parents) would not be acceptable.  Your son, like all kids, deserves to have a supportive learning environment which he is not getting while being harassed by a classmate.  And if that classmate needs help and intervention, she should get that as well.

[purfectkitty]

i would call child protective services that girl is either being abused or seeing stuff she shouldnt

[SlapItHigh]

Wow, I don't see this the same way as you or any of the responses.  I wouldn't shoulder the responsibility of this to a 6 yo all that time either :(.  

[Janet]

 

Quoting SlapItHigh:

Wow, I don't see this the same way as you or any of the responses.  I wouldn't shoulder the responsibility of this to a 6 yo all that time either :(.  

 

[BuckeyezRule]

Quoting SlapItHigh:

Wow, I don't see this the same way as you or any of the responses.  I wouldn't shoulder the responsibility of this to a 6 yo all that time either :(.  

Do you mean, you think it's more the girls parents, than her? I'm just asking. :) if that is what you mean, I do agree, something is going on at home.

I read this on another forum, I echo what I said there. Kissing, not fabulous, but not horrid. Private touching?! NOT okay.

[Bethy16]

I agree a little girl kissing a boy is nothing. Touching his penis is a huge thing and confronting him after is bullying not acceptable! !

Quoting BuckeyezRule:

Quoting SlapItHigh:

Wow, I don't see this the same way as you or any of the responses.  I wouldn't shoulder the responsibility of this to a 6 yo all that time either :(.  

Do you mean, you think it's more the girls parents, than her? I'm just asking. :) if that is what you mean, I do agree, something is going on at home.



I read this on another forum, I echo what I said there. Kissing, not fabulous, but not horrid. Private touching?! NOT okay.