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Problem child or just experimenting? *Long* need advice on what to do **Update**

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I called up my sons principal yesterday and he told me that this shouldn't have happened. He's going to call a meeting with all of the 2nd grade teachers and inform them of what is happening. He's going to make sure that the teachers keep an eye on Courtney to make sure she doesn't do it again. I feel bad that I went over my sons teachers' head but I figured I had to speak to the principal about the situation. I did suggest to him that his teacher, him and I should meet up but that's when he told me he's going to speak with the other teachers.  He said that it would be bad if my son had to be transfered to a different class because he probably made friends all ready and how far into the school year it is. Really?? Why would MY son have to move to a different class?? I told him in a 7 year olds perspective he might feel that he's being punished if he ended up moving into another class. He told me that he wouldn't want to move Courtney out of that class just in case she was put there for a reason. Wow!! Really?? That was the reason he gave me?? Okay. So if this continues and they make him move to a different class, I'm thinking of getting the media involved, after all, if the situation was reversed, my son would be the one getting suspended for this. I feel they are being sexist about this situation. 

My son was in 1st grade last year and 6 years old. Things were going fine for him. Until one day he comes home and said, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." She was a classmate of his. I told him that she shouldn't do it and that he should stay away from her. The week after he comes home from school and he said,"Courtney tried holding my hand and kissed me on the cheek." I told him that the next time she touches you to tell her stop. The next day he comes home and says, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." I asked, "did you tell her to stop?" He said yes. I told him to ignore her. I told him to not tell the teacher because she doesn't need to get in trouble. I figured she's 6 so she's just experimenting. The next week he comes up to me and tells me that she touched his penis. So I wrote his teacher a note and told her what his classmate did. She called me to let me know that the kids went to see the school counselor to talk about this (separately, of course). That her parents were informed on what happened. She also told me that she's going to keep them separate and she will keep a better eye on her from now on. I explained to her that she had been kissing him and holding his hands throughout the year. I told his teacher that I didn't want to say anything at first because I didn't want to get Courtney in alot of trouble and possibly have this scar her when all she might have been doing is experimenting to begin with.

The next day my son comes home telling me, "Courtney came up to me and put her arms on her hips and said to me, "thanks alot Alex!" So that was the end of that.

This year my son is in 2nd grade and 7 years old. At his open house (before school starts each year, kids get to visit their classroom, meet their teacher and possibly meet their classmates). We saw that Courtney was in his class again this year.

I informed his teacher on what happened last year between the two of them and she told me that she was told about it all ready.

One my of son's friend came over to play and his friends mother told me that Courntey is a trouble maker and that she got her son in trouble a couple of times last year.

So.....last week (school started September 4th as it's 3 weeks into schoo) my son comes home and yet, again, tells me that Courtney kissed him on the cheek.

I'm thinking of maybe contacting my sons elementary school principal and letting him know what's going on since, obviously, telling my sons teacher isn't helping at all. I can understand, she has to watch over 18 kids so she can't keep on eye on Courtney all of the time. She's not there when they have lunch or are at their specials. 

Should I inform my sons teacher on what Courtney did or should I just go and tell the principal?

I don't want to go over the teachers head and go right to her boss but it doesn't seem like talking to his teacher is helping at all.

Also, isn't this considered a type of bullying?

by on Sep. 29, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Replies (11-20):
splatz
by Sarah on Sep. 30, 2012 at 4:30 PM
2 moms liked this
Poor guy, that seems like so much to deal with so early for him.

While experimentation is normal it just seems so early for this little girl to be acting that way. Or maybe its just wishful thinking on my part that kids are that sexually curious so young?
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vinalex0581
by on Sep. 30, 2012 at 8:51 PM

yup, on top of all of this.

my son was at his friends house this past summer for a birthday party and his friend kissed my sons penis.

ugh!!

i hate where this is heading.

i was sexual molested and abused since i was 5 years old.

Quoting splatz:

Poor guy, that seems like so much to deal with so early for him.

While experimentation is normal it just seems so early for this little girl to be acting that way. Or maybe its just wishful thinking on my part that kids are that sexually curious so young?


Basherte
by Bronze Member on Oct. 1, 2012 at 7:36 AM
2 moms liked this

You already went to his teacher. It's time to go above her head. Yes 18 kids is a lot to do, but she went to college to become a teacher. She should get her priorities straight. I would expect my son's teacher to be on top of things in everything that she is there to see. If she isn't there for the specials and for lunch then she should make sure that someone is watching. I.E. letting the teachers that are there know that she needs to have an eye kept on her. Not necessarily why.

I would go to the prinicpal. And if that doesn't help I would go to the school board. And if that doesn't help, I'd take my son out of the school and call the police to let them know. 

I'm a protective woman who can be a bitch. I would make sure that the principal knew that if something wasn't done that I would want the two to be in different classes period.

SlapItHigh
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this

A child wanting to touch another child's genitals is a totally normal and age appropriate curiosity and not sexual for them.  Does this mean it's ok and that we should do nothing?  Nope.  But that's not what happened here.  The school was contacted, it was addressed and hasn't happened again.  I really hope that the child got appropriate counseling on this and was not made to feel like a freak.

We have no idea what really happened with the "confrontation" nor do we have any idea of what really happened all the times this girl tried to kiss her son.  The mother put all the responsibility of how to handle the situation on a young child and witheld the info from the teacher even though she thought this was highly inappropriate behavior.  It wasn't until after the behavior carried on and on and on and escalated, that the child was ever addressed by an adult.  This had to be very confusing to the little girl.  And all she said was "thanks a lot"....that's hardly bullying.  Maybe it was justly said!  We have no idea how the boy handled the situation all along as his own mother advised him to handle the situation by himself.

Quoting Bethy16:

I agree a little girl kissing a boy is nothing. Touching his penis is a huge thing and confronting him after is bullying not acceptable! !


Quoting BuckeyezRule:

Quoting SlapItHigh:

Wow, I don't see this the same way as you or any of the responses.  I wouldn't shoulder the responsibility of this to a 6 yo all that time either :(.  






Do you mean, you think it's more the girls parents, than her? I'm just asking. :) if that is what you mean, I do agree, something is going on at home.



I read this on another forum, I echo what I said there. Kissing, not fabulous, but not horrid. Private touching?! NOT okay.


AimeeJenee
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this

I would request to have his class changed and for them to no longer put them in a class together ever.

dilateyourmind
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't call it bullying. Why does it need a label other than inappropriate? But I find it very irresponsible of the school to put them in the same class again this year. Someone needs to be looking in to that girls home life. She Is obviously being exposed to something she shouldn't be. Hope it's not worse case scenario.

  My cousin that told me about all kinds of crazy sex stuff when we were VERY YOUNG, I found out way later in life, she was molested.

dilateyourmind
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:17 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting SlapItHigh:

A child wanting to touch another child's genitals is a totally normal and age appropriate curiosity and not sexual for them.  Does this mean it's ok and that we should do nothing?  Nope.  But that's not what happened here.  The school was contacted, it was addressed and hasn't happened again.  I really hope that the child got appropriate counseling on this and was not made to feel like a freak.

We have no idea what really happened with the "confrontation" nor do we have any idea of what really happened all the times this girl tried to kiss her son.  The mother put all the responsibility of how to handle the situation on a young child and witheld the info from the teacher even though she thought this was highly inappropriate behavior.  It wasn't until after the behavior carried on and on and on and escalated, that the child was ever addressed by an adult.  This had to be very confusing to the little girl.  And all she said was "thanks a lot"....that's hardly bullying.  Maybe it was justly said!  We have no idea how the boy handled the situation all along as his own mother advised him to handle the situation by himself.

Quoting Bethy16:

I agree a little girl kissing a boy is nothing. Touching his penis is a huge thing and confronting him after is bullying not acceptable! !


Quoting BuckeyezRule:

Quoting SlapItHigh:

Wow, I don't see this the same way as you or any of the responses.  I wouldn't shoulder the responsibility of this to a 6 yo all that time either :(.  






Do you mean, you think it's more the girls parents, than her? I'm just asking. :) if that is what you mean, I do agree, something is going on at home.



I read this on another forum, I echo what I said there. Kissing, not fabulous, but not horrid. Private touching?! NOT okay.


I disagree with this. It is normal for kids to be curious and show. Play doctor and such. But to be agressive and just grab AT SCHOOL. NOT

Des10ed2b
by Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

personally, i would contact the teacher again and tell you son to tell her, "STOP THAT! I DONT LIKE IT!" loudly if he has to.

i dont know if they consider this "bullying", but i do know that it is considered sexual harrassment. i remember there being a news story here a few years back about a first grade boy who kissed a girl in his class and was suspended for 3 days for sexual harrassment. 

mommynac
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:28 AM
1 mom liked this

No. But it is inappropriate. I would talk to the teacher and explain your concerns. I would also ask her what the next steps are in a situation like this one. Your son is also going to have to learn to stick up for himself and go to the teacher for help. I have a second grader, and we're working on strategies for dealing with some conflicts he's having with a classmate this year.

Oceana09
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:31 AM
1 mom liked this

My uncle dealt with this with his 7 year old son last year, except for his son came home to tell him that a boy in his class had touched his privates while they were in the bathroom. My uncle, being the mature man that he is, actually ended up calling the principle and saying that he didn't want the boy to get in trouble, but instead wanted the school to see what they could do about checking out the boy's home life, because obviously, if he is 7 years old and pulling this, somthing is very wrong. When the school checked into it, there actually turnred out ot be quite a bit of sexual abuse going on in the home.

Obviously if she was pulling this crap when she was 6, there's something wrong. And I'm surprised they even put them in the same class. Do you know if her parents have been informed yet? Because I don't know how it is there, but schools over here, any time something happens in the elementary schools that involves sexual harassment, the teachers are not allowed to talk to the children without one of their parents present.

 BabyFetus Ticker
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