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Problem child or just experimenting? *Long* need advice on what to do **Update**

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I called up my sons principal yesterday and he told me that this shouldn't have happened. He's going to call a meeting with all of the 2nd grade teachers and inform them of what is happening. He's going to make sure that the teachers keep an eye on Courtney to make sure she doesn't do it again. I feel bad that I went over my sons teachers' head but I figured I had to speak to the principal about the situation. I did suggest to him that his teacher, him and I should meet up but that's when he told me he's going to speak with the other teachers.  He said that it would be bad if my son had to be transfered to a different class because he probably made friends all ready and how far into the school year it is. Really?? Why would MY son have to move to a different class?? I told him in a 7 year olds perspective he might feel that he's being punished if he ended up moving into another class. He told me that he wouldn't want to move Courtney out of that class just in case she was put there for a reason. Wow!! Really?? That was the reason he gave me?? Okay. So if this continues and they make him move to a different class, I'm thinking of getting the media involved, after all, if the situation was reversed, my son would be the one getting suspended for this. I feel they are being sexist about this situation. 

My son was in 1st grade last year and 6 years old. Things were going fine for him. Until one day he comes home and said, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." She was a classmate of his. I told him that she shouldn't do it and that he should stay away from her. The week after he comes home from school and he said,"Courtney tried holding my hand and kissed me on the cheek." I told him that the next time she touches you to tell her stop. The next day he comes home and says, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." I asked, "did you tell her to stop?" He said yes. I told him to ignore her. I told him to not tell the teacher because she doesn't need to get in trouble. I figured she's 6 so she's just experimenting. The next week he comes up to me and tells me that she touched his penis. So I wrote his teacher a note and told her what his classmate did. She called me to let me know that the kids went to see the school counselor to talk about this (separately, of course). That her parents were informed on what happened. She also told me that she's going to keep them separate and she will keep a better eye on her from now on. I explained to her that she had been kissing him and holding his hands throughout the year. I told his teacher that I didn't want to say anything at first because I didn't want to get Courtney in alot of trouble and possibly have this scar her when all she might have been doing is experimenting to begin with.

The next day my son comes home telling me, "Courtney came up to me and put her arms on her hips and said to me, "thanks alot Alex!" So that was the end of that.

This year my son is in 2nd grade and 7 years old. At his open house (before school starts each year, kids get to visit their classroom, meet their teacher and possibly meet their classmates). We saw that Courtney was in his class again this year.

I informed his teacher on what happened last year between the two of them and she told me that she was told about it all ready.

One my of son's friend came over to play and his friends mother told me that Courntey is a trouble maker and that she got her son in trouble a couple of times last year.

So.....last week (school started September 4th as it's 3 weeks into schoo) my son comes home and yet, again, tells me that Courtney kissed him on the cheek.

I'm thinking of maybe contacting my sons elementary school principal and letting him know what's going on since, obviously, telling my sons teacher isn't helping at all. I can understand, she has to watch over 18 kids so she can't keep on eye on Courtney all of the time. She's not there when they have lunch or are at their specials. 

Should I inform my sons teacher on what Courtney did or should I just go and tell the principal?

I don't want to go over the teachers head and go right to her boss but it doesn't seem like talking to his teacher is helping at all.

Also, isn't this considered a type of bullying?

by on Sep. 29, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Replies (31-40):
elsie_may
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:03 PM
1 mom liked this

i would go to the principle since telling the teachers is not working

Luv2BaMommy9809
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:05 PM
2 moms liked this

Oh, no, darling!  I take serious issue with her being in your little one's class on the first day of school...what is the point of having them be on separate bus routes only to end up in the same classroom togethere anyway?!  I wouldn't accept that they couldn't do anything about it at that point either, that is ridiculous.  What your son experienced was not cute, not age appropriate experimentation, not funny, it was sexual harrassment.  Imagine his discomfort/fear sitting next to a person who wants to lick our private parts when we don't even know what that even means.  I wouldn't want to sit next to a guy that harrassed me like that.  We wouldn't tolerate this at our workplaces, at our church, or even at the local bar or restaurant.  We would stand up for ourselves and do the right thing.  The school should have stood up for your son as he was victimized, not traumatize him further by putting him next to the offender.

Your scenario describes a much more aggregious behavior on the part of the little girl, who, at that delicate age, knowing about licking genitals, is probably being molested or at least exposed to some serious inappropriate behavior either in person or on tv...This girl as serious issues, whereas I do believe that the little girl in OP's case may be just experimenting, although the potential for her to get more aggressive is quite there I think.  I am concerned because this behavior is a huge red flag indicating something more serious and sinister going on in her life at home.  Have they done anything for HER, that you know of?!  Does she see a counselor or something?  Going to the principal's office and having seat neighbors constantly ask to be moved has got to be telling these educators something, right?!

Anyway, I am sorry ladies, good luck!!

BTW, the double standard here is freaking infuriating to me.  Remember the 6 year old little boy, not too long ago on the news, who got literally arrested at school for holding a little girl's hand.  The little girl and her mother pressed charges and he got arrested and has a sex offender tag on his record, which I am sure his family/lawyer is trying to fight that....but, seriously, people, really?!  Here we have a girl pulling down her pants and yet, nothing.  She get to sit next to her "victim" all day again for another year to terrorize him some more.... good grief!!


 

Quoting Bethy16:

I had a VERY simmilar situation with my son when he was in 1st grade. This little girl actually pulled her pants down and asked my son to lick her and she wanted to suck his penis!! She did the same thing to my girlfriends son so we both called the school trying to avoid the parents. They also called them in separately and that afternoon the girl grabbed my son and threw him into the bus window also saying thanks for getting her in trouble. In this case the school did nothing. It started up again last year the first week on the bus and i told the school and the parents I was going to the police since they are not protecting my son! I was so happpy when they changed bus routes and even though she lives down the block she is not on the bus with him. BUT guess who he was sitting next to in class the first day of school??? I requested she not be in class with him and here she is! The principal cant do anything now but the teacher moved his seat. She keeps them as apart as she can. That being said this girl had both of the kids on each side of her ask to have their desks moved and she gets sent to the office almost every day. While she is not bullying my son anymore she is so disruptive in the class it takes away from all therest of the kids. What drives me nuts is that because it is was a girl to a boy it isnt as serious as if it was a boy doing this to a girl. I would threaten the school and if it continues they need to call CPS because 6yr olds shouldnt know this kind of stuff :(


3rd2bedue
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:15 PM
2 moms liked this

OMFG,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Ild have been all over her freaking PARENTS,,,,,,,,,,, why not??? 

LyTe684
by Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:16 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting 3rd2bedue:

OMFG,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Ild have been all over her freaking PARENTS,,,,,,,,,,, why not??? 


Threes.Company
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I would tell them both.  I am not sure I would call it bullying, but it is bordering on sexual harrassment.  I realize she is young, but still.  This needs to stop.  If they cannot keep her away from him, they should be in separate classes.

Byrd15
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Time to go to the principle. :( Sigh. 

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MyLittlePwny
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I would most definitely bring it to the principal's attention - but then again, I have 1 girl and another on the way, so it could just be my line of thinking.  If it's unwanted physical contact, then yes, it's bullying - more so, sexual harrassment.

Deryni28
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I would do this. Also I would ask for a meeting with the little girls parents and let them know what your son has complained of. The kissing to me is natural but the penis grabbing is not. My daughter and a little boy were caught under playground equipment with their pants down b/c the little boy wanted to "play Dr." They BOTH got suspended for two days. Then nothing like that ever happened again. If something else had happened you better believe I would make sure that little boy was not in her class anymore!

Quoting Ms.KitKat:


I would do an email to the teacher and cc the principal on it- first outlining all that occured last year and then report what is occuring this year. That way- you are technically going to the teaher but also letting the princiapl know and so it is an admin issue as to how to handle this.



tattdmom2prncss
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:47 PM
1 mom liked this

 I wouldnt get the media involved here, personally. I dont think it's as muc of a sexist ct as much as an age idea. They are probably imaginging that she is too young to fully understand what she is doing (which MAY be true but not an excuse) and this is probably the first time this principal has had to deal with a situation like this since he seems to notknow what to do. Of course this is something that needs to stop immediately and not continue any further, but, again, I think getting the media involved will take things to a much more severe level. Keep inmind that this will impact both of these kids for the rest of their lives so if you go to themedia this is something that will hang over both of their heads.

vinalex0581
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:52 PM

i agree. i don't want to get the media involved but if she continues to kiss him, SHE'S doing wrong, not my son, so why should my son feel like he's being punished? how else do i get my point across? get a laywer after them? file a report with the police? press charges?

Quoting tattdmom2prncss:

 I wouldnt get the media involved here, personally. I dont think it's as muc of a sexist ct as much as an age idea. They are probably imaginging that she is too young to fully understand what she is doing (which MAY be true but not an excuse) and this is probably the first time this principal has had to deal with a situation like this since he seems to notknow what to do. Of course this is something that needs to stop immediately and not continue any further, but, again, think getting the media involved will take things to a much more severe level. Keep inmind that this will impact both of these kids for the rest of their lives so if you go to themedia this is something that will hang over both of their heads. I


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