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Problem child or just experimenting? *Long* need advice on what to do **Update**

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I called up my sons principal yesterday and he told me that this shouldn't have happened. He's going to call a meeting with all of the 2nd grade teachers and inform them of what is happening. He's going to make sure that the teachers keep an eye on Courtney to make sure she doesn't do it again. I feel bad that I went over my sons teachers' head but I figured I had to speak to the principal about the situation. I did suggest to him that his teacher, him and I should meet up but that's when he told me he's going to speak with the other teachers.  He said that it would be bad if my son had to be transfered to a different class because he probably made friends all ready and how far into the school year it is. Really?? Why would MY son have to move to a different class?? I told him in a 7 year olds perspective he might feel that he's being punished if he ended up moving into another class. He told me that he wouldn't want to move Courtney out of that class just in case she was put there for a reason. Wow!! Really?? That was the reason he gave me?? Okay. So if this continues and they make him move to a different class, I'm thinking of getting the media involved, after all, if the situation was reversed, my son would be the one getting suspended for this. I feel they are being sexist about this situation. 

My son was in 1st grade last year and 6 years old. Things were going fine for him. Until one day he comes home and said, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." She was a classmate of his. I told him that she shouldn't do it and that he should stay away from her. The week after he comes home from school and he said,"Courtney tried holding my hand and kissed me on the cheek." I told him that the next time she touches you to tell her stop. The next day he comes home and says, "Courtney kissed me on the lips today." I asked, "did you tell her to stop?" He said yes. I told him to ignore her. I told him to not tell the teacher because she doesn't need to get in trouble. I figured she's 6 so she's just experimenting. The next week he comes up to me and tells me that she touched his penis. So I wrote his teacher a note and told her what his classmate did. She called me to let me know that the kids went to see the school counselor to talk about this (separately, of course). That her parents were informed on what happened. She also told me that she's going to keep them separate and she will keep a better eye on her from now on. I explained to her that she had been kissing him and holding his hands throughout the year. I told his teacher that I didn't want to say anything at first because I didn't want to get Courtney in alot of trouble and possibly have this scar her when all she might have been doing is experimenting to begin with.

The next day my son comes home telling me, "Courtney came up to me and put her arms on her hips and said to me, "thanks alot Alex!" So that was the end of that.

This year my son is in 2nd grade and 7 years old. At his open house (before school starts each year, kids get to visit their classroom, meet their teacher and possibly meet their classmates). We saw that Courtney was in his class again this year.

I informed his teacher on what happened last year between the two of them and she told me that she was told about it all ready.

One my of son's friend came over to play and his friends mother told me that Courntey is a trouble maker and that she got her son in trouble a couple of times last year.

So.....last week (school started September 4th as it's 3 weeks into schoo) my son comes home and yet, again, tells me that Courtney kissed him on the cheek.

I'm thinking of maybe contacting my sons elementary school principal and letting him know what's going on since, obviously, telling my sons teacher isn't helping at all. I can understand, she has to watch over 18 kids so she can't keep on eye on Courtney all of the time. She's not there when they have lunch or are at their specials. 

Should I inform my sons teacher on what Courtney did or should I just go and tell the principal?

I don't want to go over the teachers head and go right to her boss but it doesn't seem like talking to his teacher is helping at all.

Also, isn't this considered a type of bullying?

by on Sep. 29, 2012 at 11:22 AM
Replies (71-80):
motherof8babies
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 6:34 PM

I have to agree, she either learned it or has/is being abused and thinks it's ok. I just hope her parent/s are trying to do something about it. I feel bad for your son and no he shouldn't be moved, she should. I have never heard that excuse and I have a son that has ADHD and had to removed from a class and another student would antagonize him to the point he would be physical with them and that student was never threatened with being removed. It's her fault not his and if it's not a "special needs" class there's no reason that she was placed in that class. I hope you get resolution to this issue!

Quoting jltplk25:

This. Here's no way a typical 6 year old would be acting like that.

Quoting orngblsm:

First thing that comes to my mind is why is a 6/7-year-old child so sexually aggressive?  That is usually a red flag that a child has been sexually abused.  If so, she needs help.  I read your post to my mother and the first words out of her mouth were, "Something wrong is going on in Courtney's home."  What she is doing is not experimenting but a cry for help. 


Yes, what she is doing is a form of bullying, in the adult world we call it sexual harassment.  What I would probably do is call a meeting with the teacher, the principal, and the school psychologist.  Explain what happened last year, what is happening again this year, and ask what they plan to do about it.  I would bring up the possibility of abuse and that you have heard from other classmate's mothers that Courtney has had issues with them as well.  More of the same like last year (speak with a school counselor and the parents) would not be acceptable.  Your son, like all kids, deserves to have a supportive learning environment which he is not getting while being harassed by a classmate.  And if that classmate needs help and intervention, she should get that as well.


griffin_frances
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 6:36 PM
This is pure sexual harrassment. If the school doesn't do anything about this you can press sexual harrassment charges against her on your son's behalf. I'm saying this as a teacher and a mom.
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Shelley927
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 6:39 PM

I always go to the top..I learned that is the only way to get things done and done right.

loving2live
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 6:42 PM
If she EVER touched his penis, tell them that they can put HER in another class, or you are taking the story to the media.

You are right, if a little boy touched her crotch, he would probably be punished. It's sexual harassment at any age, and bullying.

I'd put my foot down, or the school will continue to allow this to happen to other boys who may not be communicating with their parents!
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Jadegirl1819
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 6:44 PM
1 mom liked this

He is 7.  Move him and tell him that you think he will learn better in the other class. 

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 6:50 PM

I know this is probably going to offend some but I do not think  that this little girl is sexually bullying or even bullying after the fact. She Was mad and reacted from that feeling. Not because she was bullying.  I do think  its a case of experimentation though. A few times its been said that this shouldn't be happening at this age level. I am here to say otherwise. I have seen this over the past 30 years happen to all types of kids at this age on different levels. It Is Not  always the case that something "bad" is going on when this starts. Puberty is no respecter of persons. Puberty chooses whom it will, even when we would not like it too. One of my sons started going into puberty at 5 and 6. And let me tell you, he didn't see anything that would have been said as "bad" or was done in front of him.  Not with his family or anywhere else for that matter.  

Now, I am not saying that this child's parents aren't doing something around their child. As it is obvious by the touching of places that do not belong to her. But, she could have peaked in her parents bedroom while they were having their time without them ever knowing it and she just wanted to do the same. That is not unusual. In fact, it is normal. It is even normal to keep trying the same actions again. The failure in this happenstance, is that the teacher was not bringing together the 2 families involved and setting the issues straight with them both.  Not to shame the children, but to let them know that it is adults only behaviour and that the next time this behaviour was exhibited, there would be consequences. And then stick to that.  

And that  is jmho. :) 

  

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thanush
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 7:04 PM
I believe if the situation was reversed, the principle and everyone else would react very differently. I do think they are being sexist,
sheepinarowboat
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 7:06 PM

A child with a history of inappropriatly touching your child needs to be separated from your child. If I had to pitch a fit in front of the teacher, school etc....I would.  Your son has a right to go to school without someone trying to touch his genitals.  What is wrong with this little girl and why isn't she in special ed?!  Sheesh!


6AM
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 7:06 PM

No it is not considered bullying as she is probably just trying to show him that she likes him and is six years old. I would say given the displays of affection that she may be being sexually abused.

peachesforme
by Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 7:33 PM


Quoting Des10ed2b:

personally, i would contact the teacher again and tell you son to tell her, "STOP THAT! I DONT LIKE IT!" loudly if he has to.

i dont know if they consider this "bullying", but i do know that it is considered sexual harrassment. i remember there being a news story here a few years back about a first grade boy who kissed a girl in his class and was suspended for 3 days for sexual harrassment. 

I agree with this.  he needs to get loud.  he needs to loudly embarass her in front of their classmates and teacher.  if she touches him or kisses him he needs to get aggressivly adament that she STOP.  Call attention to what she's doing so it won't be ignored.  

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